AIBU to think the teachers were unprofessional about my son's lunch?

[SonnyHoney]

My 16-year-old son went on a biology trip today. He's currently doing A levels. He took a portion of fried mince (seasoned) and rice that he made yesterday with him. It was a fairly large portion. He is underweight and has been bulking by eating lots of protein and carbohydrates.

He said that both of his biology teachers put him on the spot for a good few minutes about his lunch choice. They were laying into him about how he needs more fibre in his diet and they didn't pick on anyone elses food. He is actually quite a shy lad, and he finds it hard to stick up for himself against adults.

I told him he needs to stick up for himself, and he said it was very hard to stick up to his biology teachers. Which I do understand as mentioned he is a 16 year old lad, and they are two women in their late 30s. He says that one of these teachers in particular is always picking on him. Other people in the class have noticed it as well, supposedly.

Am I being unreasonable to think its highly unprofessional for 2 teachers in their 30s to put a shy lad on the spot in front of all his peers and make him feel uncomfortable about his food choices for several minutes.

I've been a scout leader, and I'm now a guide leader and I'd never treat a teen like this.

You haven't given an example of them 'laying into him'?

What sort of things did they say apart from he needs more fibre?

I’m surprised he’s still going on trips, haven’t the exams finished now?
They don’t sound like they are being particularly horrible, but he’s 16 now he needs to stand up for himself on minor things like this.

YANBU teens are sensitive and people shouldn’t be commenting on his food. Grown women should know better.

His lunch is none of their business.

They've started the timetable for next year's courses. My DD was on a trip the other day related to one of the Highers she's sitting next year.

• Red meat gives you bowel cancer.
• Commenting on the portion size.
• Needing more fibre.
• Trying vegetarian alternatives such as tofu and veg.

I'm not with him at the moment, but they made a few other points.

He would of clearly looked uncomfortable, and these are valid points of discussion but to single one student in front of others for their food choice when he had made it himself is more the issue then what they said.
I wonder if they would have mentioned anything to him if he was eating two ham sandwiches made with hovis.

All of those are true though. A huge portion of beef mince and white rice isn’t going to do him much good.

I think it's unreasonable to comment on anyone's diet based on one meal!

For all they knew he lives on beans, prunes and jacket potatoes but he chose to cut back on the fibre as he wasn't sure of the facilities, if needed.

As long as he was able to keep the meat cool with cool blocks, I can't see the issue with what he took.

If any of the teachers I've worked with wanted to make conversation about his lunch it would be to ask him if he made it himself, how it was cooked, if he does a lot of cooking etc. Going on about its short comings does seem off, but I wonder if he only "heard" that bit, when they were just saying if they were making it they'd have included some veg.

Otherwise a very odd way for 2 teachers to carry on.

OP says he's doing A levels, so just finishing Y12. No public exams, just normal school at the moment for most Y12s. My DS is also at the end of Y12 and doing a trip tomorrow.

If he'd been telling them how he was eating rice and mince because he's bulking, it doesn't seem unreasonable for biology teachers to suggest healthier ways to do it.

Still trying to work out how this is picking on him?

I don't think it's the worst meal you could eat in the world. It's allmade from scratch.

He has a balanced diet otherwise, so for instance tonight he's making chicken thighs salad and sweet potato.

It’s pretty awful. No fibre, just red meat and white starch.

I wonder whether you're getting the full story - it seems unlikely that they would both start commenting on only his lunch and nobody else's out of nowhere. Maybe he was talking about his bulking plan or having made it himself, and the conversation stemmed from there?

At any rate I think at that age, he's old enough to have a job... I'd be approaching it from a "well, there are annoying people everywhere, even grown ups and teachers, so grow a thicker skin and learn to smile and nod" perspective. Said in a nicer way obviously 🤣

Well he clearly felt uncomfortable and that's a shame.

But I'm not sure I'd call their professionalism into question as it's the sort of mature conversation about food/nutrition that many 16 year olds would be happy to have.

Yours wasn't happy and that's ok too.

But it's none of their business and he didn't ask their opinion.

They’re his teachers. It is their business

I don't think it's the worst meal you could eat in the world. It's allmade from scratch.

But did they tell him it was the 'worst meal he could eat in the world'?

I very much doubt it.

Still, some people are funny about food/eating etc so perhaps they shouldn't have tried to have a conversation with him.

He’s 16, his lunch is obviously not their business

He’s still a child at school. They are under a duty to make sure the children in their care are healthy.

He's 16, he should be able to hold a conversation about his lunch. Doesn't sound like they were laying into him more just commenting on the fact that beef and white rice isn't the healthiest option. Not unhealthy but equally not healthy.

It's called making conversation and plenty of 16 year olds would've been happy with it.

They just made the wrong call.

You have a strange idea of picking on him they just pointed out that it wasn’t healthy and there are better choices.

Big deal. He'll experience a lot worse in life.