AIBU to think the teachers were unprofessional about my son's lunch?

[SonnyHoney]

My 16-year-old son went on a biology trip today. He's currently doing A levels. He took a portion of fried mince (seasoned) and rice that he made yesterday with him. It was a fairly large portion. He is underweight and has been bulking by eating lots of protein and carbohydrates.

He said that both of his biology teachers put him on the spot for a good few minutes about his lunch choice. They were laying into him about how he needs more fibre in his diet and they didn't pick on anyone elses food. He is actually quite a shy lad, and he finds it hard to stick up for himself against adults.

I told him he needs to stick up for himself, and he said it was very hard to stick up to his biology teachers. Which I do understand as mentioned he is a 16 year old lad, and they are two women in their late 30s. He says that one of these teachers in particular is always picking on him. Other people in the class have noticed it as well, supposedly.

Am I being unreasonable to think its highly unprofessional for 2 teachers in their 30s to put a shy lad on the spot in front of all his peers and make him feel uncomfortable about his food choices for several minutes.

I've been a scout leader, and I'm now a guide leader and I'd never treat a teen like this.

I don’t think they should have commented on his food at all!!!

I can’t believe they’ve never seen boy kibble before, it’s all the rage among my teens and their mates.

Red meat is awful for you. White rice has no fibre and no nutritional value

I agree with you this sounds a bit weird. And if they were concerned about your son’s eating as some have suggested then this was not the right way to approach it - an underweight student should not be presented with a negative view of their food by staff and nor should attention be drawn to them eating.

This is pretty bonkers. Homemade mince and rice is fine as leftovers. Better than some upf pre-packed sandwiches. Not okay to try and shame a young person.

I’d offer DS that you’ll drop an email to the teacher, just to say that DS had felt put on the spot and embarrassed, and to please not to do that again. And that you’re happy to come into school to discuss if necessary.

If nothing else hopefully it will make your ds feel you have his back. Might also make staff member back off if, as your son feels, this is repeated behaviour towards him.

beef is one of the most nutritious foods out there.

School trips were always an opportunity for me to have treat food, so my lunch would never have been anywhere near reflective of my normal diet. How are they to know he doesn't eat a shit ton of fibre at other times? How do they know he doesn't have a condition where fibre gives him the shits. This is not ok.

Some of these replies are batshit! Why are posters taking it personally what a young lad takes for lunch. Jeez, it’s a meat and carbs lunch not cyanide! I doubt he eats it every day but so what? We know that some individuals with a little power do like to take a toxic attitude to others as demonstrated by the Nottingham Maternity case so give the poster the benefit of the doubt….. She knows her son!

The only thing that was in anyway valid to say about that lunch was checking how it had been stored. Rice is incredibly dangerous if not kept correctly.

This conversation made him feel uncomfortable and as a teacher you should be able to read how a student feels. It was clear they singled him out. I would definitely say something. It does not sound like he is lying.

Exactly!

It’s not “awful”. It’s unprocessed meat and carbs.
I mean sure he could have an apple afterwards but it’s fine as part of a healthy diet.

Did you really just type that?
Rice is the staple food for half of the world’s population.

White rice and brown rice actually don't have vastly different fibre content. White rice contains essential vitamins and minerals and is gentle on the digestive system. Red meat is highly nutritious and contains plenty of protein. There is no evidence that it's awful at all - the concern is about highly processed meats such as salami or pepperoni.

Op i agree that it is not appropriate to make those comments in that way.

Its a perfectly acceptable lunch and the teachers should not be making assumptions based on 1 meal in the day, use it to embarrass your son and then also sprout their plant-based idea. The teachers should know better than this as it can easily trigger disordered eating in a susceptible age group.

A lot of people also seem to have ignored the part where others have noticed one of the teachers singling him out a lot at other times.

Teachers are human and as with anyone in any position, some can be bullies.

The concern is about all red meats.

I have no doubt that OP’s son actually eats this all the time and was bragging about it

Haha, what are you on about?

My reasoning is based on what information OP has given us, I’m big wagering and guessing the teachers’ motivations like you are!

The teachers were very inappropriate and should not single children out in this way.

Bragging? Quite a reach isn’t it!?

I thought that was the parents job.

I wonder if all the snarky comments would be here if OP's child was female.

Just dont comment on people's food. Its fucking rude. Not all meals need to contain all the food groups. Some people deliberately eat less fibre if theyre having stomach issues and are out. Theres a million different reasons someone might be eating meat and carbs for lunch.

OP I am sorry your son had to deal with this from what sounds like a couple of bitchy teachers singling out someone who they know probably won't stand up to them. They sound like bullies.

No. I have, unfortunately, come across this type of person a few times. Teenage boys who are “bulking”, but doing it all wrong, and failing to gain any sort of meaningful muscle mass because they only eat two foods. Yet they pretend it’s the healthiest thing in the world

Read op’s second post!

Oh she’s already made her own narrative regarding this. 😂

wagering and betting, it’s like she was there personally

@SonnyHoney Yes they were highly unprofessional. If they do have concerns with your son’s health and diet then raising it in this manner could be construed as bullying, especially given that you mentioned that other students have noticed him being picked on in class.

id contact the college and say you’re not happy about with their approach

it sounds like your son is very sensible and independent with his approach to his diet so as far as their comments go, take them with a pinch of salt

A single huge portion of mince/meat and rice will do him no harm at all. It’s a staple in many cultures.ANY food can be unhealthy if eaten solely and to the exclusion of other foods.

@SonnyHoney I’m afraid I’d be complaining - it’s absolutely not their place to comment on a young person’s meal or to single them out. They were very unprofessional, have no idea what his personal dietary needs are or whether he may have allergies or be trying to gain weight etc. (Ex teacher, ex guider and ex scout leader here… and parent of an 18yo, who would have loved mince - well chilli - and rice for his packed lunch. But then, that is what he had for dinner last night so I suspect many MNers will be along to comment that this is heinously unhealthy too).