Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣try reading the OP's posts. Or my previous one.

The fact you don’t know what he was doing says a lot.

you seem determined not to accept that this was a parenting fail

As does any half competent adult.

I didn’t- I knew you were a bloke becuase of the number of nitwit dads I see walking with very young children behind them. I comment on it to my husband all the time because it is 99% of the time a dad.

Keep your kids in front of you - if a car starts to pull out you won’t have a clue.

Frankly the man would not have shouted at your child had he been in front of you. You’ve no idea what he did to him.

The first three would not warrant shouting at a kid. Rude gestures, swearing - highly unlikely they even know what that is at 4.

This site is really funny because if a woman was to post this from the POV of I was walking with my DP and suddenly a 4YO boy walked in front of him and he shouted GET OUT OF MY WAY and told the parent to control their kid, I was mortified - 99% of the comments would be - LTB, I could not be with someone who behaves that way, he can’t control himself in front of a child so he will later take it out on you, get your ducks in a row, because you know - men = arrogant, bad temper, horrible. But say the man is OLD. Oh noooooo, protect HRH at all costs.

Let’s be honest your parenting sucks. You are ageist, a poor parent and by the sounds of it a little bit rough too, so I’m not inclined to believe your version of events.

As I've repeatedly said. It was a quiet residential road. There were no driveways. I don't remember a single vehicle (except the runaway bus, obviously 🙄) driving on the street in the entire time we walked its full length. He was following on the pavement and he's old enough to know that we walk on the pavement and not the road. 10m is the width of a swimming pool.

For all the people that claim it's dangerous and they only let their kids walk in front, how is 10m in front any safer if they randomly run out into the road?

10m is way too far behind to leave a 4 year old. Perhaps you need to learn a lesson here.

You’re both in the wrong, to be fair. No, he shouldn’t have shouted at your son, but equally you should have been keeping an eye on him, even if it’s not a busy road, accidents happen in a split second.

Also, you lost the argument when you called him an “old codger” - there’s no need for that, or the talk about him being lucky you’re not the kind to kick off about your kids. It doesn’t make you look cool and yeah, you should control your child in public.

Why on earth would an ‘elderly’ (your words) man, step into the road because you don’t have eyes on your four year old child.

10m in any direction is dangerous.

I have been trained to teach children that age road safety and the biggest message is HOLD YOUR ADULTS HAND. Children that age have not yet learnt the skills needed to be safe near a road on their own.

Yavu calling someone who could be 65 an old codger that’s shocking.
Also you should be keeping your eyes on a four year old in the street.

You're missing my point. I was referring to the child. Would the 65 year old have shouted,
"Get out of my way!" to another man?

Well, unless you have eyes at the back of your head, if they were in front, you’d at least have a chance of seeing them move towards the road and being able to stop them on time. You honestly sound a bit dense to make that comparison.

10m in either direction on a road (busy or not) isn’t ideal with a 4 year old. If you couldn’t see him, how do you know what he did or didn’t do to annoy the man? Maybe he deliberately moved in front of him or put his foot out?

Or maybe none of those things happened and the man was just being horrible. The point is, you don’t know because you couldn’t see, but your first instinct is to blame him and effectively claim that your child is perfect and can do no wrong.

And what's being 6 ' 1 " got to do with any thing , why are you coming on here , can't us women have anything for ourselves

It's redundant, actually.
Codger means old man.
Old codger ... old, old man? 😆

And yet, your child pissed off a stranger so much they yelled at them. But you didn’t see the approach of the stranger, keep your eye on them as they passed, make sure your child was behaving or understand what had pissed the stranger off so much.

Keep your child in front of you.

YABU to refer to him as old, I am in my late 60’s and do not appreciate that being described as old.

OP has declared himself to be a big man.

Don’t they all…

He's 4.

What exactly can a 4 year old do to provoke that reaction in a normal, reasonable person?

What would be your threshold for shouting at a 4 year old in the street?

It doesn’t matter how quiet the road is 10m is too far away in either direction at 4 years old. Behind is especially poor parenting as you can’t see what’s he’s up to or what other people are up to. There are plenty of crazy people out there in the world and you would have had no idea if that old man was one of them until it was too late. You should take this as a lesson and keep your children safer going forwards.

I do agree the man was rude and you were right to defend your son but honestly i can’t get past the lack of attention you were paying to your young child and the potential for it to go very wrong.

The other guy was definitely unreasonable to be shouting at someone's kid in the street. Being old isn't a free pass to shout at kids that aren't his. Personally when walking out anywhere it isn't the best idea to have your 4year old lagging 10m behind where you can't see him either. Stop and let him pass you so you can see where he is

It was unreasonable of the man to shout. Horrible for your son. You are right to defend them.

I do agree though that I’d keep my kids in front of me so I can see them - at that age they could be distracted and dawdle off or someone could grab them. If they are in front you can keep and eye and remind them to be safe (stay away from curb; don’t pick up anything gross) or you can notice if anyone approached.

Eurgh you are one of those mums.

What does that mean?