Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

Ah, I understand. Yes it is annoying when random kids get in your way, the old man's reaction was just disgraceful though. Tbf when I'm walking with my 2 kids, 4 and 2, my 4yo often rides ahead on his bike while my 2yo has a tantrum next to me as I'm shouting him to come back and he ignores me. Both ND. Trying to keep them together while pushing a pram is borderline impossible so I think I could empathise more due to that.

Honestly I think the heat is just getting to everybody. If this were me I'd just move on now tbf. I apologise if I was arsey, the heat is getting to me too. I'm sweating from places I didn't know I could sweat from.

I'm sorry to say this, but the part that stuck out in your post was the old bit "65-70" I'm 67 and would never consider myself old. I'm very fit and active and if someone called me old, I'd honestly be upset.
He was definitely wrong to shout at the child, however I'd much rather a child was in front of me than behind me.

He was 65-70 she said. My god, do you really think that age group is 'unsteady on their feet'?

YABVU to call someone aged 65 to 70 old . And you should have been watching your child . Am surprised this thread hasn 't been taken down its unbelievably ageist , will report

But 65-70 isn't young. What would be acceptable? An older man? A pensioner? A gentleman of pensionable age? Someone who may be in receipt of a bus pass?

Absolutely. I teach my children to stand up for themselves and its about people treating each other with respect, even if it’s being respectful to a child. If someone has an issue with my children speak to me, not them. Therefore, I would have told that man to back off

All the posters saying the child should not have been behind the OP, etc etc, what’s that got to do with the fact that a grown adult should not be shouting at a 4 yo for such a minor infraction?

YABU because of the prejudiced opinions and description of the man in question.
You referred to him as a rude old codger.

A 4 year old doesn't need a buggy? 4 is not a toddler.

Well the Cambridge dictionary uses this sentence to describe what a codger is:

A couple of old codgers were sittingon the park bench, grumbling about the children.

I would say that’s a pretty accurate way of describing him in the context of what this man did to OPs 4YO child.

Now on the technicality that this man was described to be in his 60s/70s, that’s closer to the end than it is to the beginning so also not inaccurate. The posters that keep repeating this sentiment are taking this way too personally. He’s angry, someone just verbally assaulted his kid and he’s feeling protective.

But we don’t know what the child actually did because the only adult paying attention was the one who ‘shouted’

What exactly could have this child done that would warrant such an outburst 🤣🤣🤣🤣

pedants corner is a place to discuss things with other like minded people or for people to ask questions. It doesn't mean things can't be discussed on relevant threads.

No more than irresponsible parents are requested to keep their parenting inadequacies to the parenting topic.

He was rude. The kind of man that happily picks on a woman and a small child but would probably have stayed silent if your husband was there.

Wandered, zigzagged, stopped dead, made rude gestures, kicked out, stuck a leg out, sworn, insulted.....

Would he have spoken like that to a man equal or bigger in size and fit looking?

Probably not.

Zig zagged about the pavement, laid down on the pavement, thrown stones, been rude to the man, any number of things.

the man may have already quietly asked the boy to move to no avail.

‘Old codger’. Dear me, is that how you think of elderly people? How hideously rude. You seem to be absolutely hung up on his age but at the same time have no knowledge of what advancing years can bring. As an example, my mother is 80 (you maybe would refer to her as a ‘silly old cow’). She has arthritis from an old ankle injury that causes her pain and stiffness so she’s unable to make sudden movements when she’s out walking without fear of losing her balance (for example if a four-year-old suddenly darts in front of her). She has hearing loss and is struggling with her new aids, meaning sudden loud noises can cause her pain and disorientation (for example if a four-year-old shouts unexpectedly next to her). She’s 80 and has had a hard life so is pretty fucking sick of most people, especially those with bad manners. She’s noted recently that most people she’s met below the age of around 35 seem to have a sense of entitlement that’s off the scale (for example, a mother of a four-year-old who doesn’t feel she needs to teach them how to be respectful to another human who could very well be having a bad day). Sooner than you think you too will be old but I dare say you’ll expect (maybe demand) to be treated with respect. Be careful what you’re teaching your kids!

OP has declared himself to be a big man.

An outburst? He said “get out of my way”

the only outbursts came from the man who ignored his child then took offence when someone pointed out he was in their way!

Some of these responses are so crazy! Kids get buses to school at age 4 and 5 where I live! The idea that a 4 year old can’t be 10 metres away from a parent (who is presumably glancing back at him often) in a quiet road is just completely ridiculous to me. The adult may have needed to side step the four year old; he could have said ‘mind out little one I need to get past’ or something- the four year old has as much right to be on that pavement as the adult. Of COURSE he was unreasonable!

It really does pay to at least read the OP's posts. He's a HE, 6'1" don't you know & the man is lucky he didn't react more aggressively. Apparently.

*Father of a four year old.

What could a 4 year old do to provoke a normal reasonable person into shouting 'get out of my way' at the 4 year old?

If my son was creating such a horrendous and dangerous barrier across the pavement, wouldn't a normal, reasonable adult just step into the (quiet traffic free residential) road and walk around? Cross the (quiet traffic free residential) road and use the other pavement? Shout to alert the parent to the child's terrible behaviour?

My DM never allowed us to be behind her - we were always in front or right next to her. You cannot see what is happening to your DC if they are behind you. I followed that rule with mine.