Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

Sorry is he now an "old man" at 65?

If your child was that far behind you have no idea what he was doing/how he was blocking the man's path etc or if he was safe.

Obviously he should not have shouted but maybe he asked quietly and your son didn't move?

The heat is making people very grouchy but I don't think you covered yourself in glory here.
You were no better than he was to be honest.

You should have had eyes on your 4 year old and then you would’ve known what happened. Sorry.

It sounds as if the man was rude, however saying your son is 4 is not a good reply to someone stating that u need to control him.

What was your child doing? Without knowing it’s hard to judge.

Also. What’s his age got to do with the price of fish?

and you were rude as well.

Astonished at some of the replies here. If people can no longer be patient and gentle with bloody children, there's no hope.

Funnily, even before COVID (when the needs of children were sacrificed for the rest of us), it was on Mumsnet when I first came across this general attitude. Someone commented 'why do people put 'baby on board' signs on the back of their car?'. Granted, those signs are not to my taste, but their response was 'it's not my child, so why should I give a shit?'.

It depressed me, and stuck with me!'

Is 65 old? Also what do you mean "saw he was on his phone, who to? I've no idea?" He could've been starting a thread about you on Gransnet/he could have been looking at football scores/he could've been messaging his wife. What's it to do with anything?

You lost the moral high ground when you called the man a codger.
It’s perfectly reasonable to to be annoyed by his actions, but not his age.
He may well have been rude and intolerant of your 4 YO. But you are rude and intolerant of him.

You are very ageist OP and pretty rude yourself . You said the man was rude but we don’t know that and given how rude you are about his age maybe you inflamed the situation.

So you don’t actually know what your child was doing?
Possibly being deliberately obstructive or behaving rudely?

Why a buggy?

Maybe he wasn’t ruder, it depends on what the 4 year old was doing. They aren’t difficult to walk around so, for the man to have to tell him to get out of the way, he must have been doing something. We only have op’s word that the man shouted, rather than just being a man that has a loud voice. After all, op says she isn’t the type to kick off in front of her kids, and yet seemed to manage to have a bit of back and forth about it all 🤷🏼‍♀️

what are you hoping to gain from this thread?

the man was a twat and you should have your kids in view and near to you.

but no one goes through their day perfectly. we all make mistakes

treat it as a learning opportunity, it's all just practice anyway. next time smile, agree with the angry man, let him rant himself off, and get on with your day without a further concern.

this is the way of the Stoic.

I wonder about those signs though. Is there a cohort of drivers who will ram into all vehicles mercilessly unless they specifically declare they're carrying a child passenger?

Maybe he wasn’t, obviously we only ever have one side on here 🤷‍♀️ and he might have found the 4 year old hard to walk round, we don’t know. But the man shouted at a very young child, that’s rude, the kid is not old enough to be unsupervised like he was, the guy should have just shouted at OP if he felt the need to shout.

Why is his age relevant?

He was awful to your child - and then you were awful to him - why are you using the word ‘old’ as an insult?

why would you want your child to see
you behaving like that?

Another ageist thread.

Didn’t know we could still say “old” let alone “codger”

You should’ve had your 4 year old under control. You have no idea what he was doing

He's 65, not 95!
My DH is 70 and perfectly capable of saying "excuse me" to anyone in front of him, whether that's a 4 year old or a 40 year old. He's also not a doddery old dear who's going to break a hip by stepping to the side because a small child is not walking in a straight line.

That's why I'm not a fan of the signs. They won't deter idiots, and at the very worst they might even provoke a few. I found the Mumsnet reply sociopathic, though!

Possibly he was rude, possibly not if your kid was in the way and he was trying to get past. How do you know exactly what happened anyway, you were quite far ahead! I am not sure I would have been happy to have the 4 year old behind me, they would have been the one walking next to me or in the pram rather than the 7 year old.

Both been unreasonable! I would not be letting a 4 year old get that far behind!

If you need a pushchair for him, he's too young to be trailing behind you where you don't have your eye on him.

Him saying control your kids does not sound like your child was just walking along the road. If you aren’t watching your 4 year old then you don’t know what he was doing. I also would not let my 4 year old walk that far behind me. Especially if the empty buggy was for him so he’s likely a developmentally young 4 year old.

I wouldnt say 65 -70 was that old
And i do hate thus current teebd of parents strolling ahead ( usually on tbeir phones) ignoring their small child.