Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

You need eyes on your 4 year old, 10m behind is not good! The man was very rude also.

It’s absolutely fine to use a buggy in these circumstances imo. Really irritates me when people get all high and mighty about this, especially when most of them drive their children everywhere.

Any number of things - Decided to do a cartwheel in front of him when he had a hip replacement last week?

point is, it doesn’t really matter. The man’s reaction isn’t what you should be worried about - You as a parent should know and anticipate hazards. You couldnt and didn’t.

Who is?? And one of what mums?

And sorry to add - the buggy thing is fine. Not sure why people uppity about that

Weaving across the path, waving his arms around, generally being unaware and in the way (totally normal thing to do age 4 but the reason 4yos need guidance from a parent).

I think, once you get older you give less of a shit about calling out bad parenting or annoying behaviour. My df is early 70s with no filter - I can’t decide if he just doesn’t care as he’s got incurable cancer or it’s the brain tumour changing his behaviour. Old guy may have been unreasonable but as you have no idea what your dc was doing, it’s hard to give you any credit for assuming he was in the wrong and not your son.

Yes, this, plus older people often (not always of course!) have health conditions/find it difficult to walk and are more likely to be hurt. He might also have seen too many kids hurt by running into a road.

What exactly can a 4 year old do to provoke that reaction in a normal, reasonable person?
Do you really gave to ask? Bewildering!!!

He could have ran into the man and that man could have almost fallen down.

How many 'what if' do you want? The man had a hip replacement and was taking his first walk out.

He had cataract surgery and struggle to see well

He fell 4 months ago and broke his leg. He is scared of it happening again.

It's baffling how your only focus is on him shouting, yet seeming to face no concern at all to the fact you were not supervising your child and that the stakes are that he did something that rattled the man.

Typical attitude people gave to deal with. I feel sorry for your children future teachers who of course will always be in the wrong and will deserve a harsh punishment when they upset your darling.

I'm about the same age as this 'Old codger' as you charmingly describe him. For normal purposes, I am not unsteady on my feet, but if I'm having to avoid people's roaming children, I can be. I don't shout at them but I do give their parents the filthiest look I can for not supervising them properly. Maybe you should pay more attention to what your child is doing.

OP I agree this old man was rude. But there are plenty of cantankerous old men out there who don’t like little children - you stuck up for him, no harm was done.

What does concern me in your posts is that he was 10m behind you. To echo other posters, keep him next to or in front of you. That man could’ve been anyone. You didn’t know he was there until he shouted so imagine how easily your son could’ve been led away without you knowing.

Even so, take it all as lessons learnt. Sometimes people are rude. And you should always, always have eyes on a 4 year old.

He is cranky. Putting his age out of the picture, all he had to say was excuse me so they could side pass on the pavement.
Do not mind him.
There is a local man who shouted at DS once, he has a reputation for it. I was trying to get DS into school while he was holding the railing, the man start shouting that he’d get the police to arrest DS, he was only 5 with special needs, I told him that he wasn’t helping, I eventually told him to piss off as he kept ranting. My face was bright red.
I am all for parents being free to correct my child when they’re in the wrong but not when they’re not being mean.

I find it odd to use a pushchair for a dc about to start reception without and additional needs. I’d sold mine before dc turned 4. At 5yo they walked miles round NY totally fine (twins).

Generally dads spend less time with dc so are less conscious of dangers as havent previously experienced.
Zigzagging isnt really appropriate on general pavement and adults in front doing that or taking whole path in groups are annoying.
Here 4yo are all on scooters and bikes...
However my adhd dc couldnt be trusted by roadside at that age

What was the point of this post? You clearly have no intention of listening to people that do not agree with you.

If you said that he was a teenager in your post, no one would be excusing his angry reaction to a small child.

I mean at least a few meters in front you can see your kid dashing off elsewhere and get to them-definitely safer than having your kid wander off in another direction 10m behind you where you can't see what they're doing. As you have stated 10m is the width of a swimming pool, does that make it better somehow? Either way keeping your young kid in front of you walking out in public makes more sense than leaving him lagging behind where you can't see him surely. Go ask his mum if she's happy with you letting him lag behind where you couldn't see him-hopefully at least one of his parents has some common sense to keep your kid where he can be seen when out walking in the street

If a child was behind a slow moving elderly person and shouted at them to get out of the way they'd quite correctly be considered horrendous. YANBU at all.

Being old is definitely not an excuse. In fact if he was in his 60s I'm surprised he was out on his own 😂

YABU, OP. Of course people shouldn't shout at other people's children without good reason, but the man was right when he said you should control your children. They should be within your sight, particularly when they're only 4 and prone to zigzagging all over the footpath, making it hard for others to pass.

This, a car is just a giant pushchair anyway!

I didn’t drive when my eldest was smaller so we used a buggy until he started school as living in a town with v limited public transport often meant over an hours walk both ways to go swimming/soft play/park etc. all of the ‘we stopped using the buggy before age 2’ mum’s just drove their children to all these places 🤷‍♀️

If your young child is walking behind you, you can’t see if someone were to snatch them. How long would it take you to notice? This is why mums tend to keep their kids in front of them or hold their hand. You had the older child next to you when it should have been the younger one next to you. When I was at primary school, a boy in my year group got hit and killed by a car on a quiet residential road - he saw a hedgehog in the road and ran to rescue it from the car he saw coming. Kids that age don’t always make sensible decisions.

And 1.1 miles is not exactly far to walk. My middle son did a 7 mile charity walk at just under 3 years old and asked if we were doing a “big walk” again the next day 🤣

I'll need to remind my DH not to trip up the next time he does his charity 10k run given according to many posts on this thread he's old & vulnerable 😂

I love that saying, I haven’t heard it for a while.

This country is so hostile to children. Quite right to give that miserable old man the same energy back.
No wonder mums are so stressed, seeing all the grief you’re getting here for not having eyes directly on your son, ridiculous.

I can happily accept that he may have been zig zagging and tricky to pass, but he's a nice boy that responds well to instructions

How was the person he was impeding supposed to know that?

Maybe he shouldn't have shouted, but for all we know he'd had a bit of a shock nearly falling over your son.