Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

Exactly

I agree and YABU to not know what your very young child is doing behind you. 10m is too far. You should keep him next to you, or in front.

He shouldn’t have shouted, but you do come across as a bit “scrappy”. It is really annoying when parents let their kids meander all over the pavement when you’re trying to get past.

Do you consider those scenarios relevant to the actual issue at hand of a man shouting at a 4 year old?

The thing is, something CAUSED him to shout at your 4 year old. Of course this isn’t what most people happy and tolerant people would do, so is it too hard for you to understand there was almost definitely a reason? Looking beyond your own nose is a skill worth learning, even if you are a self-professed ‘big man’. Even more so in fact. One thing this country doesn’t need any more of is unintelligent knee-jerk testosterone-fuelled responses to situations that shouldn’t be that hard to empathise with. He shouldn’t have shouted (if in fact he did) but your response is rather juvenile don’t you think? I think we’ve already realised you’re not prepared to be even slightly in the wrong so I suppose this is how you’ll blunder and bluster through life while teaching your kids to behave the same way. Good luck with that!

👏👏👏

How stupid to allow a child to walk behind you so you have no idea what they are up to.

The thing is, something CAUSED him to shout at your 4 year old. Of course this isn’t what most people happy and tolerant people would do, so is it too hard for you to understand there was almost definitely a reason?

Yes there was a reason. He's a arsehole.

Looking beyond your own nose is a skill worth learning, even if you are a self-professed ‘big man’. Even more so in fact. One thing this country doesn’t need any more of is unintelligent knee-jerk testosterone-fuelled responses to situations that shouldn’t be that hard to empathise with.

🙄 Telling him he should have said 'excuse me' is an 'unintelligent knee-jerk testosterone-fuelled response'. Okay...

I think we’ve already realised you’re not prepared to be even slightly in the wrong so I suppose this is how you’ll blunder and bluster through life while teaching your kids to behave the same way. Good luck with that!

Who is 'we'?

How is telling a man that shouted at a 4 year old child that he should have said 'excuse me' a bad example for my children?

Your desperation to excuse this man's behaviour really is stunning.

Well if your kid runs into someone, gets knocked over or snatched by a pdf, you’ve only yourself to blame.

Nobody is excusing the man's behaviour - why you are getting so defensive is because no one is excusing yours either.
You don't know that the man didn't say excuse me to your child, possibly several times, because you were too far away. You were only alerted to his presence when he shouted.
Should he have shouted - no
Should you have allowed your child to be out of sight, out of ear shot and possibly out of control - absolutely not
You will not get the sympathy you want because no matter how badly the other man behaved, you behaved worse
Chances are you know that - you probably shouted at the man as a fear response when you finally realised your child wasn't with you and that whilst you walked on he could have ran into traffic, been snatched or ran in front of another person, causing them to fall.

Ok @ThisOldThang. It’s very clear you’re not capable of understanding.

I think that the person to blame would be the paedophile and the services that are supposed to be preventing paedophiles from roaming around randomly snatching children. Luckily, they do their job extremely well, hence why random snatching by paedophiles almost never happens.

You said there was more back and forth and you called him a rude old man and walked away. Why now try and change that? Why not just consider you may not have been perfect either?

@ThisOldThang It looks as though you haven’t realised but AIBU stands for ‘am I being unreasonable?’. It’s a question you ask when you’re not sure if you overreacted or not, then the idea is to reflect on other people’s opinions to help you decide. There’s no point in posting on here if you’re someone who’s convinced they’re always right. ‘Yes there was a reason. He's a arsehole’ is proof of your inability to see any perspective other than your own.

And, by the way, it’s AN arsehole.

It's not a perspective thing, though, is it? A grown man shouting at a 4 year old child in the street, is proof that he's an arsehole.

You're just determined to excuse his behaviour as somehow justified by the [insert made up action here] of a 4 year old (who was quietly following his dad and brother).

You are hilarious - quietly following his dad and brother - spat my tea out!

By the way your kid runs around in front of me almost tripping me up and doesn't move when I ask nicely - and his incompetant father is halfway down the street totally clueless - I'd shout too
If you won't parent your kids, other people have to step in and make the kid bloody listen

Good lord this is a nasty thread.
Anyone attacking the OP - there is no way any of you would stand for a random bloke shouting at your 4 year old. Forget exactly how far away he was, forget there was a pushchair present, forget that the OP is a man. You don’t shout at someone else’s child for doing something as innocuous as being in the way for a split second. I have managed to get to my 40s without shouting at other people’s kids when they’ve been in my way for a split second. If I were in a bad mood, I may tut. But that would be it.

You remind me of the man who yelled at me yesterday because I said ‘slow down on corners’ to an eight year-old who came tearing around the corner, freaked out when they saw an actual human being and ended up in the road on their bike

Forget that OP is a man - why? Is a father not supposed to look after their child properly - like a mother would!!!!!
Forget how far away he was - that is the whole point - the kid was a long way behind - behind as in OP couldn't see him - if he was parenting there wouldn't have been a problem - but I have learnt now - he's a man so we have to forgive him being crap

I am saying forget he is a man because I suspect that’s why he’s being attacked so fervently. If it was a woman posting you’d be up in arms that a random man shouted at her child and then had a go at her….

It is a parent that is neglecting their child - and takes NO responsibility at all for it - totally blames the old man for shouting at their precious angel who could have been doing anything. Doesn't matter whether a mum or a dad - they should be watching their children

The shouting is irrelevant. The fact a 4 year old is walking in the street & not in full view of the parent at all times is the issue here.

65 is not old and the person should have been able to handle this better. However, so should you op.
This is a bit of a nothing really.