Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

So you had an empty buggy with 2 children walking. I have experienced this scenario many times, when parents have a buggy without kids plus the kids blocking the way. I would never shout but I understand that someone old might be frustrated more.

Also, your AIBU questions are unfair. No one is going to say being old makes you expect from shouting at children in the street. He wasn’t shouting at your son, it was directed at you.

Old people are not mean people. Some old people especially those alone are frustrated with the society’s lack of consideration for them.

Hey op the man was a dick no doubt about it but what people are saying is your kids shouldn’t be behind you for safety reasons in front where you can see them at all times it might be a quiet safe residential space but kids should always be in your sight for many reasons.

Why was there a buggy then? For shopping. Getting tired of these empty buggies blocking.

@ThisOldThang Well, you've raised my hackles OP. In fact I'm fucking livid.

Your child was around ten metres behind you, and you happily accept that he may have been zigzagging and difficult to pass.

You don't know, because you weren't watching, but you accept it and you don't care that he could have tripped the older man up and caused him an injury. Why didn't you have eyes on your child?

You are teaching your child(ren) to be disrespectful towards adults (except for you perhaps) and towards older adults in particular.

Look OP, mine are in their 20s now, but I taught them respect from early years. When they were walking with me (never behind me) and any older person approached, I said firmly (to the child/children): "Get out of the way." When an older person entered a room, I said, quietly but firmly (to the children) "Stand up." It's second nature to them now as young adults.

Frankly, this child-centered place we all seem to be living in is wrong. Pile on if you like, Mumsnetters, but children should be taught to respect elderly people. And to respect their teachers too, while I'm on a rant.

OP, I suggest you match your walking pace to your younger child's, rather than your older child's. Yes it's very boring to dawdle, but it's your responsibility.

Yes, but he's six foot one! Swoon! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So hot.

Hotel?

Homeless?

We'll never know what the 4 year old was up to because the only one watching him was a stranger.

Very tall.

😂😂😂

Kids get out of the way for old people.

You’re lucky the man wasn’t an oh-so-impolite Ferrari.

In London I would say that is the norm, and driveways are unusual. Many councils ban people turning front gardens into hardstandings for parking.

Here are a couple of examples for people who cannot imagine houses without driveways

Exactly.

“Children should respect elderly (full stop)” is outdated imo. Children should respect elderly who deserve respect is a more up to date version. That 4 year old shouldn’t need to have any respect for a person who shouts at him to move out of his way. Why couldn’t the man have modelled polite behaviour and said “Could I come past please?” (Then walks past, then..) “Thank you.”
My Grandma never would have dreamed of talking to a small child like that. She always said respect is two way street, and had lots of patience for children. I guess she was ahead of her time. Amazing lady ❤️

That would be my take on that as well.

What if someone had grabbed the child and pulled it into a car?... Perish the thought.

As the child was behind her, he could have been zigzagging across the pavement and getting in the way and she would never have known. I would have given the man the benefit of doubt and apologised.

Apologies not 'she' but 'he'... but still totally shit parenting imo.

Blocking what?

Oh, sorry I miss understood your point.

who knows what the man would have done if it was an adult doing the same as the 4 year old. We'll never know, along with what the 4 yo was doing, if the man had already asked him nicely to let him past of anything as the OP was not looking after his child in a public space.

Nor Is he open to learning from this. .

You'd apologise to a man that just shouted 'get out of my way' at your 4 year old child? Really?

As I said previously, he's a nice boy that follows instructions well. He's a bit shy/wary of strangers and would have definitely made space if asked. Like all 4 year olds, he can disappear into his own little world, but he's taught to say and respond to 'excuse me'. I would certainly have responded better to a loud 'excuse me' than a shouted 'get out of my way'.

YABU for calling a 65-70 year old as old

6'1 isn't 'big'.

It's State Pension age. 🤷

One that's deliberately trying to trip me over & whose parent isn't taking any responsibility for them.

You again. 🙄