Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

Dads

What a bizarre take on this, I think OP is getting an unfairly hard time.
Maybe having your 4 yrs old behind isn’t the wisest move but crikey, how does that justify an adult shouting at a little boy?
Does the fact that the ‘old’ chap is an adult entitle him to be rude and unpleasant?
I’m with you, OP. If someone shouted at my 4yrs old in that manner they would be getting very short shrift.
Manners cost nothing, and respect is a two way street. I would never speak to a little lad like that, I would probably say hi to him and smile at the fact he was happy pottering along.

You 4 year old was walking nearly 33 feet behind you ? FFS that is neglectful even on a quiet road you kid could have run out into the road. No excuses.
The old guy was a regular git though.

Then every young child I see scooting around or riding on balance bikes is being neglected. Get a grip.

Unless you and @FWC2026 have some personal beef, I'd say she's making a fair point.

…….in front of you. ALWAYS!

They just need to be in front of you, it’s not hard to understand. Basically everyone has said that on this thread and you still don’t acknowledge it, really not sure why you bothered posting

I don’t think the point is that the old man is justified. I think it’s that it’s almost irrelevant because OP had no idea what is child was doing behind him and that’s the bigger issue/ danger here - not some random man’s shouting.

Maybe. But IMO the man was STILL being a grumpy bastard and shouldn’t shout at a little boy.

The little boy will get over it, and his father will (should) be teaching him that he should be careful not to run around older people. An elderly person might not get over a broken hip.

When a parent says “they’re only 3/4/ insert age here”, my response is always, well, they should know better by now.

Dontuse your child’s age as an excuse for bad behaviour. It’s as bad as “boys will be boys” and teaches them that they are not expected to behave. And then they go on to behave badly.

You know your child zigzags so you should be teaching him to be aware of other pedestrians and only zigzagging when he has room for himself.

Your child was over 30 feet behind you and you don't have a clue what he did. A small child running into an older person can easily cause them to fall over and a fall for an older person can be a nasty shock and worse. You need to keep a better eye on your children and have more respect for other pedestrians.

WTF?! A 4 year old walking along a street causes a broken hip to a 65-70 year old as he walks past? Sounds very far fetched to
me 🤷‍♀️ Alternatively, (to avoid certain death) perhaps he could say “excuse me”….just a thought?

Bet you’re one of those people that thinks children should be seen but not heard.

Bad behaviour? Was he not just walking along a pavement?
Crikey 🤦‍♀️

65/70 isn't old

As I mentioned my DH in his 60s regularly takes part in 10k charity marathons. Having said that my niece when age 6 called my neighbour that old lady. She was in her 40s. 😆Perhaps it's just a case of comparatively speaking if much younger. It's a privilege to get old but late 80s 90s fits the description. Nowadays when you get icons like Madonna & Rod bouncing about the stage in their 60s & Rod at 81 we need to reflect on how we describe older people.

I think it’s more likely that at 4 they’d just be in their own little world and haven’t seen you, rather than deliberately trying to trip you over.

Who knows what he was doing & that's part of the problem. Had the OP been looking after his child he would have known what he was doing.

Haven't knowingly come across the OP before.

Agreed. When I posted that my DM always had us in front or right next to her I meant a few feet, not ten metres!!

Yeah, I don't know why I'm bothering really. You're not listening to anyone, he's your child you're putting in danger, & your hurty feelings.

But "respect" should not be a "two way street". That's the entire point of what happened between the "elderly" man, the four-year-old, and the big daddy.

Call it a pecking order, if you like. I prefer to call it what a caring, respectful society should look like.

Children deserve respect in terms of their bodies, their wellbeing, their right to safety, a good education.

They deserve love, and we love them to heartbursting. But however much we love them, they should behave kindly to others and we should police that.

Terraced housing doesn't necessarily mean you don't have a driveway.

It’s weird you’ve translated the perfectly comprehensible and almost universally (in this country) understood 10m to the outdated and more difficult to visualise 33 ft. What’s 33 ft unless you’re American? 😵‍💫

OP I do think you’re unreasonable to have had your 4 yo that far behind you - for his own safety.

But the man was unreasonable to shout at him or you, very much so.