Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

10m away is too far to grab if he runs in front of a car. So you’re unreasonable for that. But a stranger shouting at a kid is generally a dick move.

he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids

Four year olds aren’t toddlers and generally do know not to suddenly run out into the road, especially on quiet streets.

He was behind you so you were oblivious to what he was up to ? YABU as well as the old guy.

You are being unreasonable to go on about his age and for saying he is lucky you don't kick off in front of your kids!

You are also being unreasonable to let you son walk 10m behind and not have eyes on him!

I am not saying shouting at your child was right, but neither are you.

I wouldn’t let a 4 year old be out of my sight even on a quiet residential street. The old man was still rude.

He shouldn't have shouted but to be honest you should keep a closer eye on him, if he’s behind you, you can’t see what he’s doing🤷🏻‍♀️

Why is how old he is relevant?

You should have had your 4 year old in sight in front of you or immediately behind you. What was the buggy for? He was rude but you engaged in an argument in front of your kids with him. Neither of you look amazing but he was ruder

I wouldn't let a 4yo walk behind, that was a silly idea.

Why did you have an empty pushchair?

Yeah your 4 year old was 10m behind you on a public street. Even if your 4 year old is the most sensible kid ever, that's called completely irresponsible parenting.

If you could see your son, you’d know exactly what happened wouldn’t you. So here lies the problem and no one can comment properly based on not having the full story.

Personally I would be annoyed if someone shouted at my 4YO but I also wouldn’t be as abrasive as you sound. Maybe he had mobility issues and your kid was hovering in his way making him loose momentum? Just because he’s your little darling doesn’t mean everyone else will find him delightful. Maybe he had said excuse me and your kid was in his own world?

The vote is completely biased as you’reboth unreasonable.

Plenty of 4 year olds could make a mistake and run into a road. The fact that she had a buggy with her suggests he could be fairly young for his age

We need a diagram

When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

What's that got to do with the price of fish?

Your 4 year old kid should not be 10 meters behind you. You are being irresponsible.

You're being judged a bit harshly here on something irrelevant imo - he probably would have shouted anyway if you'd been walking 3 abreast and had your 4yo next to you. Op's post isnt about where her child was it was abkit whether this man was rude or not ( he was). YANBU.

Good for you OP, I bet he wouldn’t have shouted at your son if he’d been with his dad

Being old is not an excuse to be a bullying ill mannered git. Ever.

I agree with PP, I wouldn’t have a four year old trailing that far behind me without my eyes on him.

Fgs

Older people are so wary and unsteady in their feet. A unsupervised toddler is so unpredictable.

A fall is statistically likely to hasten ab elderly person's death.

Yes he reacted harshly but it's completely understandable.

Stay close to your child - for everyone's sake especially your child. 10 metres is massively distant

Four really isn’t a toddler. Four is school age!

I think in general there is a really unpleasant negative attitude towards children in this country. Maybe because we are all becoming more insular and self-focussed, I don't know. But it's definitely not pleasant.

Yanbu being old is not an excuse to be a arsehole. All these perfect parents on here who hold there 4 yo hand and don't let them step behind are also being unreasonable. I've seen plenty of mums walking ahead when their child is having a tantrum and kids being slow. Plenty on the school run who are walking ahead with older kids and little ones dithering, very normal. I've never seen a 4 year old run into the road for unknown reason, they'd only do that if their mum actually crossed over without them.

He was probably very hot too, but some adults seem tp expect kids to grow up and be courteous while showing no manners themselves. I guess this could be a trait associated with older generations who were brought up in a more kids seen but not heard/ deferentual vibe.