Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

What?

His age has got nothing to do with it. He was rude to shout. You were rude to refer to him as an old man.

Well you are on MUMSnet.

The old man was rude and aggressive. A nutjob. You get them in every age group. Haven't you met one before?

Firstly 4 years old is waay too old for a buggy - i think you need to be aware that you are probably babying himbtoo much.
Secondly children of thst age have poor soatial awareness and often change direction and suddenly cut across someone's path, or stop abruptly in front of ypu which is highly annoying and a bit disconcerting. I do think you need to keep an eye on him a bit more and teach him how to behave. The man clearly didnt say what he did gir no reason. He wasn't the one tgst was rude. you were!
Thirdly getting into a shouting match and name calling in front of your children.... really? What a poor example to set! Why didnt you just say 'Sorry! Watch where you are going Billy! Come and walk by me! '. That would be the normal,reasonable course of action.

Given how many posts you've made in this thread, you appear to be itching for a fight/attention.

At the risk of setting you off again, there are more types of residential street than just those with driveways and those with doors that open directly onto the street. There are also those with small front gardens/yards that aren't deep enough to park a car on. This was one of those roads. It had a fairly wide pavement that could easily accommodate two adults walking side-by-side. It also had no traffic during the time we were walking the length of the road - i.e. it was a quiet residential road.

Yeah my 4yr old was never out of my sight except when at school! He was definitely wrong for shouting at your son but to be fair, you dont know for certain what your DS was actually doing. Sounds like both he and the old man were in the wrong

Idk why you had an empty buggy if your children are 4 and 7. you are unreasonable allowing your child to walk behind you so far and not know what he is up to-you have no idea what your son was doing. focus on your own family rather that criticize anyone else.

Have you ever heard of 'terraced housing'

?

Huh? How on earth does that imply 3 kids?!?!?

OP I think you were too kind to the old man. Should he have shouted at my 4yo son, he would not have done it again.

You still kicked off regardless of being a man. Most men would just say sorry and let it go. That's not kicking off, not what you did. Sounds like you were trying to escalate the argument tbh.
I'm not sure why you being a man or your height are at all relevant. You were both unreasonable and if your child sometimes wanders about zig zaging in front of others you should absolutely have your eyes on him.
I'm really confused by the fact he said control your kids and your response was he's 4. Do we not need to control 4 year olds to make sure they're safe?

I don't know why so many people find the buggy odd. We were walking a long way - I've just put it into Google Maps and it's 1.1 miles. It's a hot day. My son is 4, so I knew my son would be tired on the return journey. It's also got a hood/shade to help prevent sunburn.

Christ, I actually think someone could start a thread about rescuing a bag of kittens from certain death and people on here would still find a reason to rip in to them. Are you all grumpy because of the heat or what?!

You don't control kids, you parent them. Part of parenting them is ensuring that they are protected from harm. No he shouldn't have been 10m away behind him in the street, but a stranger old man should not have shouted at a 4 year old, either.

Defending him against the old man was exactly the right thing to do. If not, the boy grows up to think it is okay if strangers shout at him, and his parents will not defend him when needed, leaving him to feel unsafe/uncared for. Good to know if a stranger shouted at your child in the street, you would simply agree with the stranger. Yikes.

From what OP said that is in no way kicking off either, it's defending his child. Kicking off is screaming and shouting and all the rest of it.

Thank you.

"codger" not heard that one for decades!

Older, younger, taller, hungrier means you are comparing two things. Oldest, youngest, tallest, hungriest means you are comparing three or more. (I'm a pedant too.)

I agree with this. 4 year old children actually lack capacity to distinguish between a moving and stationary car. A child's peripheral vision, depth perception, and low-level visual processing systems are still developing.

Letting your 4 year old trundle so far behind you was thoughtless. Still, that didn’t give the old man the right to shout at your child. An avoidable situation if you had properly supervised your child.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pedants_corner

I think pedants are requested to keep their pedantry to pendant's corner.

Pointlessly pedantic and likely incorrect on this thread. Not that it’s relevant if he has a 3rd child somewhere.

I don't think 65's old🙁Why mention age at all? Do you think older people are ruder than others and are biased against them? However old, they shouldn't have shouted, but hard to gauge the situation.

How is the buggy relevant? So judgemental.

It depends on how savvy the 4YO is. Only a parent will know that about their child.

The man was U, and I bet he wouldn’t say this to an adult that can actually clap back. Tosser was on his phone, not paying attention and then gets annoyed a kid is in his way so throws his very own toddler tantrum. Honestly my heart bleeds for the inconvenience this man had to endure 🙄

I would avoid you at a party.

Makes much more sense. Generally (not always, before I get pounced on) a woman would not let a 4 year old walk 10 metres behind her. I certainly wouldn’t have. My husband probably would.