Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

How did you know what your child was doing 20m behind you? So dangerous it beggars belief.

The child could have been obnoxious, obstructive or anything else. Or run into the road and been killed. I would never let my dog do that, anywhere, let alone on the street. And he is totally reliable and well behaved.

Why do parents no longer use those reins or leads for young children? It’s so dangerous to let them roam free. I always hate it when I see this happening when I am driving, with the parent often distracted by their phone.

Early to mid 60s is not old by the way, you stereotyping young person.

I had the buggy because we were walking a long way and I had planned ahead for the return journey knowing that my son would be tired.

I'm comfortable with him walking in a pavement behind me. He knows to stay on the pavement and this was a very quiet residential road. He'll often dawdle and then run to catch up. So what?

I can happily accept that he may have been zig zagging and tricky to pass, but he's a nice boy that responds well to instructions and shy/wary of strangers. If the old man had said 'excuse me little man', my son would probably have jumped out of his skin, but would definitely have moved to the side to let the man pass.

He was rude and aggressive towards me, after shouting at my 4 year old son.

Why are you comfortable with it? You’ve literally just learned the hard way that there are risks other than cars when you aren’t supervising your small child, and yet your response is still ‘I’m comfortable with it’. Supervise your child properly and you can avoid this happening again in the future. You were very rude back to the man so that bit is tit for tat

I'm nearly 70 and don't look it or act in any stereotypical way. In fact people are generally surprised when they learn my age. This is not remotely stealth boasting, I'm saying it for purposes of this post. But I am very well aware that a tumble these days is not the same thing as a tumble when I was 21 or even 40. I don't "dodder" around in the slightest but I am far more conscious and spacially aware. Many's the time I've had children run full pelt into me in the supermarket or bashed into me with their scooters. And whereas in the past it would only constitute minor irritation, I now brace myself for a potential fall.

What has the man’s age got to do with it? You’ve admitted that your DS could have been zigzagging in front of the man, and the man may well have said excuse me quietly to him first but been ignored, so then he raised his voice. Possibly your DS could have been dawdling and almost cause the man to trip up.
He wasn’t wrong - keep your kids under control!

You're lucky someone was just rude to him and he wsnt under the wheels.of a bus given how little attention you were payinh

It's a quiet residential road, so the bus would have needed to smash through a few houses to get onto the street.

So calling him a "rude old man" doesn't count as kicking off?

I think he probably shouldn't have shouted at your child but you weren't watching your DS and don't know what happened. Perhaps he started by saying "Excuse me". He said your son had been in his way. Whatever their age, 10m behind you is too far away for a child, who still needs a buggy, on a residential street.

I sometimes read of t
hese 'altercations" on here and think there are three sides to the story, tge Ops, the "old man' and the reality/truth of the situation.

So it was pedestrian only?

I have a trustworthy and biddable 4 yr old and a wild 8 yr old and I absolutely wouldn't have my almost 5 hr old trail behind me.out of my sight. It's irresponsible. That's probably hot the auld guys back.up

“I can happily accept he may have been zig zagging and tricky to pass, but he’s a nice boy who responds well to instructions”

I’m 44 so probably look old to your son as my 11 year old thinks I’m ancient and I’m definitely grumpy and hate people <well adults> but really what on earth is wrong that a simple “excuse me wee man can I get by you?” or even just “excuse me” if you are reaaally grumpy and can’t be bothered to speak nicely to a child.

Another “I’ll write a post on AIBU but then adamantly defend myself against anyone that disagrees with me” 🙄

It might have something to do with the outdated phrase, “Respect your elders.” Nobody should have any respect for a man who booms at a 4 year old like that.

Is it a road with driveways where cars could be crossing the pavement?

A 4 year old needs to be walking next to you holding your hand
Not dawdling all over the road several feet behind you or in a pushchair like a baby.

Until they don't!

it takes nothing for them to be distracted & run into the road without thinking.

@ThisOldThang YABU to call him an OLD man. YABVU not to have your 4 year old beside you, behind you isn't safe. You don't know how he was behaving.

the man was wrong to shout at your DS, but he was not wrong to say something to you about watching him better.

Even if OP was unreasonable to have the child far behind her, you don’t just yell at people in your way on the street. He sounds like a dick

He may or may not have over reacted but your lax attitude to road safety is bloody scary!

God only knows.

just makes her sound even more unreasonable.

OP seriously, he shouldn't have been rude but he could been a peado, a flasher - anything! I thinks it's fine for him to tag a behind a little bit but 10m is too far

As others have said, why is his age relevant? Just say ‘man shouted at my four year old’ Whether he’s 70 or 20 has zero relevance here 🙄

No.

You were rude to an 'old man' & called him an old codger here, yet outraged he snapped at your dc for being in the way because, 'he's only 4'. Perhaps you should practise what you preach and model respectful behaviour for your dc.

You don't know if he'd already asked him to move/stay still or what the kid was doing. neither does the OP because she wasn't watching her 4 yo.

i also think 'shouting' is an exaggeration for 'spoke firmly'

A bit of an overstretch to suggest this is why OP referred to him as old…