AIBU to raise concerns after school let father-in-law apply suncream when not an approved collector?

[Tryingtohelp12]

My father in law called in today to drop something off and I said can you do me a favour and drop dc2 Suncream at school I’ve just realised it’s not in her bag and it’s on your way past. Just leave it with the office (my child school has allowed them to take their own cream in this week and apply it themselves). About 20 minutes later came back and he said the office wouldn’t let him leave the cream and had retrieved my child from her classroom and allowed him to apply it.

i have no problem with him actually doing this as we are close and he is trustworthy, but was really surprised, he’s not on the list of approved collectors as he has never done a school run for us and honestly could have been anyone. What if he’d come in and said they need to take child out of school- would they have let him?

I mentioned it to the teacher at pick up who said she will look into it but now I’m worried I have overreacted and got the office staff in trouble.

They do, but things change and it is always better to be safe than sorry! Having had to point out a mistake in a contact information situation today I know that what was right yesterday isn’t correct today. And they might not have had chance to check at reception before this situation arose.

It was a failure by the school, not the op. They should have protocols in place for this type of thing, and they didn't.

Surely if this is your method of thinking then you would also have had an issue with him giving her the suncream. He's not on an approved list, apparently could have been anyone or NC or whatever, and was trying to give a child a presumably opened bottle of cream? How are the school to know what's really in the bottle?

The world can be scary now I know... but please don't make your FIL feel crappy for helping you when you made a mistake.

Those children would generally be flagged.

I'm baffled that the OP thinks it's fine for a strange man to drop off sunscreen to be passed to a child but it's not OK for the school to check that the child knows the stranger.

Honestly it’s concerning if that’s true that you’ve worked in safeguarding. They don’t know OP sent him, and just because he’s someone that OP trusts in this situation, it doesn’t mean a similar situation can’t happen with someone that’s not allowed contact. There’s many reasons why a parent might not want someone near their child and the school aren’t aware.

'Generally' not always.

Regardless, access to children isn't based on 'these people aren't allowed to access these children'. It is, however, based on 'these people are approved to be safe contacts'.

Aw I would never say anything to him, I just said how weird, it’s been in her bag all week no problem on the advise of teachers so it’s odd they wouldn’t just let him leave it. Also it was 9.30 and I’d put it on before school so it wasn’t really needed, I was planning on dropping it off in time for lunch but he was driving past there anyway so it just felt like a normal family helping situation where we all help each other out (I’d do the same for him, grab bits at shops etc.) I didn’t tell the school as I assumed it was a drop and go same as if it was a water bottle or book or whatever (been with this school 5 years with 2 dc and this is the second time I have needed to drop a forgotten item so it is my fault it wasn’t in the bag but none of us are perfect and between hats, glasses, water bottles, creaming before we went etc it just happened).

thanks for the feedback everyone.

It's both.

But you've missed my point that the OP was expecting the school to pass an item from an unknown man to her child.

I never meant it was YOUR FAULT. I said it was a mistake... this shit happens.

But a strange man coming in and giving a bottle of suncream (could be anything in it) is very different to the child already having it in the bag when which would have been packed by parents.

If he found out you complained to the school... it might make him feel bad.

I agree with you! Even if she identified him as her Grandad, who is to say that the Grandad has access to her?

It isn't.

We grant access based on who is on the approved list.

We do not grant access based on the who is on the 'no contact' list. Otherwise that would mean anyone who isn't on that list, would be able to have access... The 'no contact list' to absolutely stress that those people are an absolute risk.

I'm not sure your point makes anything better, surely that means school should have checked or that OP should have given school the heads up in the first place. It just further highlights that school failed their safeguarding duties?

The school didn't let an unapproved person collect the child. They let someone apply suncream who was known to the child, had been sent to the school by a parent and staff were present.

The school didn't know he had been sent by the parents. They did not have explicit consent from the parents. He should not have been granted any access to the child.

He wasn't expecting or asking for access to the child. He thought he was dropping off some suncream. Should the OP have called the school before she sent him?

Regardless of his expectations, he should not have been granted access.

Yes - there should have been some communication between OP and school. Ultimately, the buck stops with the school on this one as they were the ones who granted access without authorisation.

First the school office should not be a messaging service so yes people dropping things off should take then to the child but still interrupting the class

School are there to teach so if you are that worried abour other pwople at the school dont send them and go yourself or remember things

your child’s grandfather came to your child’s school and applied sunscreen.
how old is your child? surely the are old enough to have not complied had the receptionist called them out of class so a complete stranger could rub sunscreen on them.
surely old enough that they wouldn’t have left with this strange person.

why worry?

That doesn't mean the grandpa is a safe persom though.
Obviously in op's case he is a trusted family member but just because someone is family doesn't automatically make them trustworthy.

I agree with you @Tryingtohelp12
What's the point of the approved collector list if they're going to allow anyone to physically rub suncream on a child?!

I wouldn't want anyone to get in trouble but perhaps admin staff need some extra training.

The outcome might be further training for office staff in safeguarding but will probably result in them refusing to have dealings with anyone who is not on their approved collectors list. They're going to stop taking receipt of suncream, water bottles, PE kit, forgotten homework etc

Let him apply sun cream and next thing he’ll be an obsessive nappy changer for your younger kids.

She is 17 with a 38 inch chest

Joking.

I hope

My God, schools just really can’t win.

As you've said, the two work in conjunction.

So you ask him to do something, the school let him do it, and the school are out of order. OK.