AIBU to raise concerns after school let father-in-law apply suncream when not an approved collector?

[Tryingtohelp12]

My father in law called in today to drop something off and I said can you do me a favour and drop dc2 Suncream at school I’ve just realised it’s not in her bag and it’s on your way past. Just leave it with the office (my child school has allowed them to take their own cream in this week and apply it themselves). About 20 minutes later came back and he said the office wouldn’t let him leave the cream and had retrieved my child from her classroom and allowed him to apply it.

i have no problem with him actually doing this as we are close and he is trustworthy, but was really surprised, he’s not on the list of approved collectors as he has never done a school run for us and honestly could have been anyone. What if he’d come in and said they need to take child out of school- would they have let him?

I mentioned it to the teacher at pick up who said she will look into it but now I’m worried I have overreacted and got the office staff in trouble.

Welcome to the world of education! It’s a blast!!

This is ridiculous!

He was known to your child and you sent him in with suncream which he applied to her visible skin in a supervised environment. He did not leave the school with her. Unless there is a lot of backstory that the OP hasn’t included, this is not a safeguarding issue.

I have been involved in safeguarding both professionally and personally. The school will be very aware of which children are known to services, who is not allowed contact, what concerns have been raised etc. There will be safeguarding plans in place for the children who need them. They would absolutely know if OP’s child was not allowed contact with her grandfather and would not have brought her anywhere near him if that were the case.

Which would be ok if he was on the approved list.
As it is they allowed someone they don’t know who is not approved to have his hands on a child.
Luckily in this case it’s fine, the op is ok with him helping his GC, but the fact remains that school majorly fucked up and allowed this to happen, and have broken safeguarding protocols.

Absolutely.

You are being ridiculous. You shouldn't have asked him to drop it off if thats the way you feel. I wouldn't be in a hurry to do you a favour.

This isn't about how the OP feels about her FIL. This is about how the school reacted. Don't miss the point.

This. I’m genuinely shocked at the responses from some posters on here. How much abuse takes place in families by known family members, perhaps more likely an uncle than a grandfather, but still. In no way a reflection on the OP’s FIL, but the school doesn’t know this.

Then maybe the OP should look at her own lack of organisation, it was all her fault, she forgot the suncream, she asked her FIL for a favour.

I was simply commenting on your assertion that him "getting past the reception area" was a serious disciplinary issue in and of itself.

It is. Concerts and other events are different.

This
Schools have a very hard time.
Common sense must prevail.

You literally were the person who sent him in with the suncream. Stop being ridiculous

I wasn't commenting on him having "hands on a child" though, I was correcting the mistaken assumption that a Grandparent would have to be on an approved collection list in order to be allowed "past the reception area" and into the school building. They don't. They do have to be supervised by staff, whether they're on the collection list or not.

@Restlessdreams1994 He was known to your child and you sent him in with suncream which he applied to her visible skin in a supervised environment.
Come on, all the famous sex offenders from the news, they all knew children, they are teachers, they’re looking after the schools, they’re the fathers, the grandfathers, they were ALL known to children. And they would all have applied sunscreen given the chance.

He did not leave the school with her. Unless there is a lot of backstory that the OP hasn’t included, this is not a safeguarding issue.

Safeguarding doesn’t kick in when someone tries to take a child off the premises, it starts before that.

I have been involved in safeguarding both professionally and personally. 🤯🤯🤯

The school will be very aware of which children are known to services, who is not allowed contact, what concerns have been raised etc. There will be safeguarding plans in place for the children who need them.

Many times, children are only known to social services after something has happened.

They would absolutely know if OP’s child was not allowed contact with her grandfather and would not have brought her anywhere near him if that were the case.

Hopefully, but what if something happened that morning, eg he was released from jail? No one knows. That is why checks are there.

I don't think you've overreacted to have mentioned it. It's not like you kicked off or demanded a meeting with the Head. If they have satisfactory safeguards in place then they'll be able to explain how these were followed and put your mind at rest. If they don't, then they need to address it straight away. No harm done raising your concerns in a reasonable manner.

You’re being very controlling by shutting down the debate with your patronising, condescending, rhetorical question.

I can see both sides of this but I like to think the school has used a bit of common sense and intuition here. They have a child that doesn’t have sun cream on so won’t be allowed outside and have a grandfather turn up with sun cream after being asked to drop it in by a parent. They know they can’t apply it so have asked an adult that the parents clearly trust apply it to the child. I get there are safe guarding rules but surely some situation are so clear that surely a bit of common sense can prevail. The FIL didn’t ask to see the child he was just handing the sun cream over, if he was up to anything untoward he would have asked for the the child.

This.

Either go yourself or put him on the list of approved people if you’re ok sending him to your kids educational setting unattended.

Most abuser's are known to the victim, parents, grandparents, siblings.
If the office did not know he was sent by you then he should not have been allowed to do this at all.
Op knew of his good intentions and relationship to the child.
The school did not, this is the issue.
Just imagine if Fil was an actual abuser and you knew nothing about this until school pick up, how horrified would you be that he was allowed to get so close?
Op says he is not, so not accusing but some mnetters should realise the school did not have all the facts presented in the op and so should not have allowed this to happen.

You quoted the wrong person, that wasn’t me.

😅

For heaven’s sake!! Words fail. Op, you are being so so unreasonable

Or called the school ahead of his arrival

You sent him in. Prob said he was grandad. Non issue

These are things you have to consider, ‘what is the worst that can happen?’

You can’t hide behind ‘oh I’m sure it was fine’.

This is really basic safeguarding, basic stuff.