AIBU to raise concerns after school let father-in-law apply suncream when not an approved collector?

[Tryingtohelp12]

My father in law called in today to drop something off and I said can you do me a favour and drop dc2 Suncream at school I’ve just realised it’s not in her bag and it’s on your way past. Just leave it with the office (my child school has allowed them to take their own cream in this week and apply it themselves). About 20 minutes later came back and he said the office wouldn’t let him leave the cream and had retrieved my child from her classroom and allowed him to apply it.

i have no problem with him actually doing this as we are close and he is trustworthy, but was really surprised, he’s not on the list of approved collectors as he has never done a school run for us and honestly could have been anyone. What if he’d come in and said they need to take child out of school- would they have let him?

I mentioned it to the teacher at pick up who said she will look into it but now I’m worried I have overreacted and got the office staff in trouble.

Surely common sense should prevail here…wouldn’t your child have mentioned if a random man arrived at school and started applying sun cream onto them?! They will have asked the child “who is this/do you know this man?” Then when they identified him let him crack on. I don’t think this is a hill worth dying on personally. School are very busy places.

Yes, I think you’ve overreacted. They obviously knew who he was because he was doing you a favour and they took a pragmatic decision. You may get someone into trouble, I think more likely the school will just choose to reduce flexibility and next time your kid needs sun cream the you’ll have to take it in yourself.

Your Fil does you a big favour and this is your reaction

Surely your child said “hello grandpa” always find that’s a bit of a clue that a child knows them

If your head isn’t wobbling already, it should be…

We picked our DGS up from school today. Afaik, we aren’t “approved collectors”, but each child has a code word and anyone collecting them, who the teacher doesn’t recognise, has to give the password before the teacher will release the child to them.

DGS’ teacher might recognise us by now, but DGS did an after school club today, run by another teacher. I just gave the password and he let DGS come to us.

You have massively overreacted after messing up and not putting your child’s cream in their bag. Schools can’t do right for doing wrong. Surely your kid knew their grandad ffs? Honestly these threads astound me.

I think you have over reacted op.
Does your fil know you queried this with your school? I’d imagine that makes him feel awful.
Id have imagined that when your DC came to the office it would have been perfectly obvious that they knew him.

Honestly?! Are you wanting to try and get people into trouble? How grasping at straws are you!! Make sure your in-laws know how you are so horrified by this and surely they’ll not help again.
would you be so angry if it had been your own dad?

Do you have anyone named who isn’t allowed to pick up DC?

I actually agree with you op.

Just because he is family, it doesn't mean he's allowed to have anything to do with your child. They should have given you a quick call.

This time it was OK, but next time, with another child, it may not be, so you're right to flag it up.

How old is the child? Surely old enough to confirm the identity of FIL?

There is a massive difference between allowing a grandparent to apply sun cream and letting them leave with anyone.

maybe just be thankful school are making sure she has sun cream on properly?

@Tryingtohelp12 did you tell a school he was coming in with it?

he applied the sun crwam in school, he didn’t attempt to take your child?

I couldn't go through life thinking like this. I feel so sorry for schools and teachers these days.

Deary me - her grandpa puts suncream on her - shock horror!

Honestly your reaction is totally out of proportion.

I feel so sorry for teachers who have to deal with this sort of stuff from parents - the teaching is enough.

How old is your child? Old enough to communicate properly I'm guessing and identify their grandfather.

I do see your point in a way but I do also think you're looking for problems when really there aren't any.

Your child was in school and fully clothed. I'm guessing lotion was applied on arms, legs and face by a grandfather with school staff close by.

Massive over reaction. You’re being ridiculous

He wasn’t actually trying to take them home though? So why would he need to be an approved collector? He dropped off the suncream, that somehow wasn’t allowed to be given to DC IDK why because bonkers school policy, but DC came out and was presumably said hi grandad, suncream was applied and all good. I would just be grateful DC didn’t get burnt and would move on with my day.

Unfortunately there are lots and lots of children who aren’t allowed contact with certain family members for many reasons and so op isn’t wrong to be a bit concerned. In this case all was fine but school should be careful about allowing people not on the contact/collection list to have access to students. Even to just apply sun cream which sounds so innocuous. Not that they would allow the child to leave with the person but if they aren’t supposed to have any contact with the child (and the child might not be fully aware of this) then they should be more careful really.

Surely your child musr be old enough to have clearly acknowledged / recognised it was their grandfather. It’s not like it was a 1 year old. You’re massively over reacting.

Massive overaction! And now you’ve probably put the school in a very awkward position where they’ll only let ‘approved people’ drop things off at school which will cause lots of working parents hassle! Well done you!!!

Your Fil does you a big favour and this is your reaction
💯

I agree with you OP.

Just because he's her Grandfather and she would have known him doesn't mean it's ok for him to apply suncream to her. It isn't ok for anyone that your child can recognise/name to apply suncream to them!