AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

I have to go out now and drop my dogs off at my friends and do a few things ahead of my work trip tomorrow. I will update if there is anything to update, but I’m going to keep out of it as much as I can. I will check in with my elderly neighbours once I’m back to make sure they and the cat are ok.

The elderly couple weren't in much of a position to refuse though, and the carers will be employed for specific tasks (usually on a very short timescale for visits) so the neighbour is completely taking the p expecting the carers to take that on. It's relying on the goodwill of the carers, and what if the carers don't have time or there's a day that there's a change and it's agency carers who aren't cat fans?
I'd also be worried if the cat is in their home if they're frail and not used to cats of tripping up over it.
Sorry OP I know theres no easy answer to this, I think your neighbour doesn't deserve to have a cat. If she's that callous about paying for care when she's away I dread to think what would happen when the cat needs the vet or anything else above the norm.

Of course the cat will prefer to spend the next 2 weeks on its patch, in its own garden, than in an rspca cage

I would call RSPCA

Absolutely
To have a cat caught, caged and god knows what after, is cruel and spiteful. It’s not a way to “get back” at a neighbour

If the RSPCA would be willing to take the cat then they'd clearly think it was in the cats best interest rather than the current situation.

I think you are right to keep out of it as much as you can OP. The cat will be ‘cared’ for enough to be ok by the sounds of it and you have your own things to get on with. Hopefully when you check in on everyone once you are back, they will be ok.

I would be having some strong words with the cheeky neighbour once she is back from her holiday and I’d encourage the carer to do the same.

Whatever happened to READING A FULL FUCKING THREAD or at least all of the op's posts? FFS its been explained to death.

What a cunt your neighbour is. The poor old couple, absolutely fucking cheek of her. I’d not be able to hold back and send her a text saying exactly what I think. And P.S your cat has been taken to a shelter - that would ruin her holiday for sure!

poor cat, but sadly not unusual for some people to be so flippant about cat ownership.
I wish more people would think about the long term responsibilities of pet ownership before getting pets.
It sounds like his basic needs will be met for the next few weeks so he’ll be ok. I’d be very surprised if a shelter took him in under these circumstances ( especially if he’s chipped)
Maybe he’ll move in permanently with the older couple!

£30! I pay that for two visits. Whilst in theory it's just feeding and changing litter with my cat sitter I'm paying for her experience should one of ours becomes sick or something happens.

This. What a horrible bitch 😡

I actually think your sons friend has dodged a bullet there as it is now clear she wouldn’t have paid him.

Can’t does not mean physically not here, it often means ‘I don’t want to.’ Nobody knows you here op, we do not know that your ‘can’t’ Means you’re away with work.

I feel for the neighbour. We’ve cared for neighbours cats and it’s no work at all, so I get why people are unimpressed with your ‘can’t’ Thinking it’s just too much trouble for you. You could say ‘I said I was away but I can do these days if you can find a friend to visit for the other days?’ I’m all for not being a doormat, but that would be being neighbourly I think

🤦‍♀️

Cancel the cheque!

I’ve read the whole thread now and stand by my comment on ‘I can’t’’ but think she’s very cheeky and your son was very helpful. Poor elderly couple. If you run into neighbour again ask pointedly if she’s found a decent cattery since her sitter seems so flaky.

I told OP she should've spelled out not being there in her first post because now she was going to get dozens of posts like yours, but the fact is that nobody reading this thread has ever been given any reason to believe she could look after the cat.

Really appalling behaviour from
your neighbour. There’s no way I’d be happy doing anything neighbourly for her in the future. Infuriating!

I used to do home care for the elderly. You leave them sat in their favourite chair after lunch, turn up at teatime to find them on the floor. bam, there’s a weeks hospital visit. It’s very foolish to ask them to do this, if they both end up in hospital the carers won’t visit.

I fed my neighbour’s cat once because she was going away. It ended up being a nightmare: she stopped using the cat sitter and expected me to do it all the time. There was always some emergency or excuse and then I’d come home to find a note and a key through the door. It might not sound like much but it took the best part of twenty minutes to go round, feed it, clean its litter tray, wait for it to eat, wash the bowls out and put it outside. In the evenings it sometimes wouldn’t come in when I called it so I would have to sit round there for ages waiting for it to appear.

Last Christmas she was away and was meant to be back Boxing Day, ended up staying another week which meant I spent the whole of my Christmas having to get up at 8am and tramp round to sort her cat out, then leave my family and guests in the evenings to go and do it again. She didn’t even send me a Christmas card or get me a thank you gift despite me saving her a fortune in cat sitter fees! I refused to do it again after that.

Your neighbour sounds very similar with her “what am I meant to do?” comment, as though it’s everybody else’s job to fix her problems. I’m sure she could find someone very easily if she just asked on the local facebook groups or similar!

So really she just didn’t want to pay she doesn’t care about the cat as a she suddenly doesn’t need him brushing or calling in at night.

What an absolute cow your neighbour is! Can’t believe just how cheeky some people are!

@Thepartwhereidrun it's very good at you to keep updating your thread (especially when you are having to contend with the 'why can't you just be nice' brigade!).
Your neighbour's behaviour is getting more and more outrageous, I'm concerned that she may try to blame you for anything that goes wrong with the elderly couple.

The carers are very obliging. My parents have carers. We’ve asked before if they can occasionally help mum during a dad visit, and they can’t due to not being in the care plan, risk assessed, etc. , (although some do) so to take on a strange neighbour’s cat is a huge task.

If she can't help then she can't but as always on these threads the justification comes later and is possibly not even true.