AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

I'd be calling the RSPCA at this point, the neighbour has knowingly abandoned the cat without anyone being able to take responsibility for it. It would have been obvious to the neighbour from what you've said that the elderly couple aren't able to take care of it, and the neighbour has left the cat without shelter (whether the couple would let it in their house is irrelevant)

CF neighbour is a disgrace.

Part of me wants to do this, but there are no guarantees the cat would end up with anyone better, and selfishly, I have some things I need to do today including dropping my dogs off at my friends which is an hour away, then I’m up early tomorrow for work trip.

I will see how the elderly couple and carers are doing when I get back later in the week. If they’re not coping, I will have to suggest this to the carers. I feel like texting the cheeky neighbour and giving her my opinion on what she’s done but I don’t really want to get more involved. She’s a bastard though, she has taken advantage of an elderly couple, what sort of person does that.

No cat flap!

The carer has assured me that the cat will be fed and given water by them. The elderly neighbours have told her the cat can go in their house but the carer said they may forget and they spend a lot of time sleeping, so the cat may get left out, or locked in with them.

I agree with this. She does not deserve to have a pet and surely this is neglect.

I hope my taxes aren't paying the carers to look after her fucking cat.

What so cat is missing their meds?

And the choice you have now is do you and your son leave elderly neighbours and carers to do it alone, or help them out a bit on days you're not away.

Have to say we give food to neighbours to feed our cat at theirs too. They do it on the patio. Cats do not eliminate where they eat - there is no mess to clear up. Locking it out is more of a problem - are you absolutely sure it doesn't have access to its own house? High window left open or something? Obvs none of this makes it ok that your neighbour has done this to cat and neighbours especially if he needs regular meds.

They can’t take the cat to a shelter because they verbally accepted responsibility for it. They shouldn’t have but they did. The cat can go in their house in the daytime (it probably won’t and will spend hours meowing outside its own house) and the carers can kick it out at night. The carers can write a strongly worded letter to the cf neighbours to say they must never ask them again as it fell to the carers instead.

"Cats do not eliminate where they eat - there is no mess to clear up."
Not for the cat feeder, but all the other neighbours end up with turd filled gardens.

Can you contact teenage son’s friend to take over the duty (if still willing ) and then message cf neighbour to explain the situation (I know it’s not your problem)?

Say neighbours aren’t up to the job and carers aren’t able or insured to look after cats.

No, I’m not going to get him involved. Imagine if something happened to her cat, she’d blame him saying she hadn’t given permission for him to look after the cat. Also, what about payment, I’m not letting him do it when she probably wouldn’t pay him. And no keys so he’d have to feed her in my garden and have no chance of any access to any shelter.

Absolutely not.

The neighbour clearly wanted to pay nothing to care for the cat. It was always about money.

RTFT!!!! Her and her son are going away. They offered multiple solutions.
why the f is a cat her problem when it’s quite clear the neighbour just doesn’t want to pay anything. She offered her son £30 for 2 weeks work when he already has two jobs so it’s clearly not worth it for the amount of effort

Agreed. I doubt there was ever any plan that fell through in the first place, just an intention to leave it last minute as a guilt trip.

This is really bad. How could she do that? I would be worried that with no access to his own housemy cat would run away after a while

@NoCommentingFromNowOn of course! It’s mumsnet - it’s not that deep! 😜

I'm agog at this thread, not least at some of the ridiculous replies.

It got worse and worse but right from the off she was being a CF. Imagine not taking no for an answer like that. Fair play to your son, he sounds very polite and helpful. She was not remotely stuck, he had suggested his friend and she turned him down.

She sounds hideous. The poor cat.

The stuff with the elderly couple is off the charts.

I would never ever have anything to do with her again.

We go away regularly on holidays and I have used teenagers on the street. There are a few key differences; I know them and their families (one babysits for us, the other two I gave work experience to) and I asked the parents permission first. I was worried the partners might not like them having access to an empty house. I paid them 10 quid a day and it really was only a few mins work. We have a cat flap and self serving food dispenser. They just had to drop in, top up the water and the food if necessary. We always brought a gift back from holiday too, they're lovely teens.

I would never have insisted if it didn't suit.

As an aside, I had a marginally CF neighbour try to take advantage once - nothing on this level though. She posted into the street WhatsApp saying their kennels had cancelled and could anyone recommend another to take their dog. I spoke to DH and said we would. We refused payment. They were very very grateful. Good feelings all around. I am not a dog person but DH and DC enjoyed it.

Then a few months later the same neighbour appeared in a fake panic saying their mil had booked and paid for a holiday with only 24 hours notice as a surprise. She was so detailed in her delivery all "I mean it's a lovely gesture but so inconvenient". I genuinely couldn't help as we were packing for our own holiday.

The 'last minute surprise' was completely untrue, they had known for weeks and were just trying to manipulate me. It really soured my view of her.

Where is the cat food even stored? In a shed ? Could the cat sleep there. Worried about this poor cat now!

I'd contact somewhere like RSPCA to let them know that your neighbour has gone on holiday and left her cat with no access to its house.

I think this thread seems to have gone a bit over the top now.

I understand that OP doesn't like the neighbour, and that a lot of posters clearly feel strong sympathy with her, but I think calls for OP to seize the cat herself and give it to a shelter are misplaced, for a few reasons:

A) The neighbour has not left the cat uncared for - she has arranged for some elderly neighbours to help care for it, with support from their own carers, who despite complaining to OP about it, are intending to help.
(How those who will be caring for the cat feel about doing so: and whether or not they are being paid; is really not OP's concern - I am sure lots of people resent being asked to look after a friend or neighbour's pet, but they still do it).

B) I do feel that some posters are exaggerating the amount of labour involved in caring for a cat who has access to the outdoors. It may well just involve opening a tin or pouch, shaking out some dried food, replacing water, washing the bowls - unless the elderly neighbours have 24 hour care, they can presumably cope with simple tasks like this.

C) If they do have round the clock care, it's entirely reasonable to expect those carers to support with recreational activities such as feeding a neighbour's pet - elderly people's lives should not shrink to simply having their very basic needs met; carers should provide mental stimulation too, and helping care for a pet/furthering social interactions with neighbours while support this.

D) as for the outrage about the cat not having access to its home - many people board their pets away from home when they go away. This does not meet thresholds for animal cruelty. The elderly people seem willing to welcome the cat into their home.

I hope I haven't annoyed anyone here - I do understand emotions always run high when animals are involved. But I also think it can be helpful to put the emotions aside sometimes, and see things in perspective.

Yes I agree.

My emotions aren't running high, I don't even particularly like cats. I still think what she did was shitty and isn't at all the same as paying for a cat to board.

I'd allow somewhere like RSPCA to decide what they felt met the threshold of animal cruelty.

B) The cat doesn't have access to the outdoors, it's actually been shut out of the house. And who's paying for the cat food now no-one can get in?
C) You think she's doing them a favour by dumping her cat on them?
D) Cats being boarded have indoor access. They're not (unless it's a very bad kennels) left in the outdoors.

I think ultimately you have to think in the best interests of the cat, and that is NOT to call the rspca in this case

Why isn't it in the best interests of the cat?

The neighbour has given the elderly neighbours everything for the cat, food, plates, medicine etc and a list of instructions. The carer has told the couple not to attempt to feed the cat or give him medicine without them being there. The carer was concerned that they will end up falling whilst bending and said that they are not strong enough to firmly hold the cat to give it medication. The carers do intend to do it as the couple have said they would.