AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

I saw your other post. You're being unrealistic. If someone is a CF which is proved by them thinking £30 is good enough, you're not going to get anywhere with asking for the £300 they should be paying for emergency last minute catsitting and hoping they at least meet you halfway at £150. It's not going to happen. All that'll happen is the CF will insult you, get stroppy, insinuate you're the one who's out of order for wanting anything like a proper wage and generally argue why you're not worth it and tell you you should basically do it for free. So why would anyone put themselves through that? What's the point? If someone is rude enough to offer a working adult £1 per cat visit, the best answer is the one the OPs son gave the CF neighbour "no, sorry, I can't."

See my other post. My son didn’t explain when she first asked him, but I did.

Shes always been ok but we don’t know her that well. We have looked after the cat a few times for 1 or 2 nights, we take parcels for each other if we are not in, move bins, chat about stuff going on locally when we see each other. Her cat comes in our garden so I’ll sometimes send her a photo. My daughter went to school with her daughter but they’ve both moved out now. She has always seemed ok but I’ve never had to say no to anything before.

Yes, thanks I can read. She is away for a few days, he 'may' or 'may not' be away certain days (gave up on reading OP as she doesn't seem to be asking opinions, more having a moan and wanting people to agree). I think between the two of them they could have helped 'if' they wanted to - even if not the whole week. Thanks again.

Same here, I would not be willing to deal with cat feces, or that of any other animal.

She offered £2 a day? She's a CF picking on teens. You have her measure, never help her.

Me too - especially as some neighbours (we have one) are all feckin' take and no give.

We stopped driving our neighbour (opposite) to her various appointments after doing it many times when we realised her daughter who doesn't work and has a car never did it. This neighbour called on us for various other favours but never once thought to ask after either one of us when we had various bereavements (she knew), my partner had a major operation (she knew and even saw her out on the street on crutches - neighbour said not a word but went on about her own ailments and how hard she was finding it getting down the hospital (40 minute drive - see comment above re daughter with car who doesn't work).

There's neighbourliness - and there's being taken for a mug by someone who takes the piss.

Why don't you find out if OP is near you and offer your free kindness?

He said he has a friend who would maybe do it but he would charge £15 per day. She declined and said that was too much

So she isn't desperate, she's cheap. That is a Her problem, not a You problem.

Your son and you have both been more than helpful in asking your dog sitter and asking his friends. She's ungracious and unreasonable.

This would be my take too. You never know when you may need a favour from her, so really you could, between you and your DS, manage for a week and then let the dog sitter step in.

You've been far and away more helpful than I would have been. Definitely NBU.

I can't even deal with my own cat's poo without heaving. My neighbour & I feed each other's cat's when we go away, we don't give each other anything, it's just what we do, if we're around to do it obviously. One time she forgot to tell me until about day 4 of her holiday that she's keeping her cat in therefore his litter tray needs to be emptied. I found it upstairs with 4 days' worth of cat poo in it, oh and he'd also missed the tray several times. Luckily he's usually an outdoor cat....!

They could only help if her DS parks his plans to go camping once the weather is cooler though. Why would he do that for someone who only wants to pay him £2 a day, but was allegedly planning to pay a professional cat sitter £££ more?

Ah, British society. And you even think you represent something better and good when announcing it . . . . . .

She isn’t poor.

Not all cats have litter trays! We have a microchip cat flap and she comes and goes as she pleases. She also eats kibble, so no horrible wet food except as a treat. So when we go away, often for a month, She just has someone checking in to make sure her bowls of food and water are full and to give her a stroke. We also have cameras so we can see and speak to her. It’s really not a big deal.

They could if DS were willing to commit to being there on the days OP isn't, yes. But he's not. For whatever reason he doesn't think having to change his camping plans for £50 is worth some hypothetical neighbour favours in the future that he might never need anyway.

With that in mind, it's not immediately obvious what you think OP could do.

I'd look after her cat, I have looked after lots of neighbours pets and when I had pets neighbours helped me. Especially as she has been let down.

Why are you assuming I was suggesting her son do it? Can’t OP pitch in? I’ve regularly helped the neighbours out with feeding fish ( couple of mins a day) and watering plants a couple of times a week for 10mins. I know I can ask for a return favour or that my kids could knock on their door at any time and ask for help… Because we’ve helped them too?

But in my street most of the neighbours help where they can. We respond to burglar alarms, pop each other’s bins in and out when we know people are away, and help shift each other’s cars in the snow. Clearly we are all odd.

At least 4 of my immediate neighbours would pop in and help in the same circumstances as OP’d neighbours. In fact, they often have.

You know it doesn’t matter how rational you are or how clearly you explain that you’re not going to be at home anyway, the MumsNet Massive will still tell you how unreasonable you are being because you won’t drive back home from your business trip twice a day to feed Tiddles next door. 🙄😂

Even when you’re not going to be there because you’re going away for work?

100% you're going to wake up to find she's left a big bag of Whiskas and some instructions for cleaning Fluffy's dirt tray on your doorstep.

Is the 'someone' a cat sitter or some poor teen sod you've roped in for £2 a day?

OP's away working for most of the week. HTH.

If I was going away and the planned care for my cat fell through I would ask my next door neighbour, but if they said no I would be contacting my vet, local pet based businesses, Facebook groups, checking community notice boards and messaging anyone I knew that might be available. I would not be hounding my neighbour and claiming if they won't do it for less than £50 that I'll have to cancel my holiday. Passing on the number of your dog sitter was very helpful of you, I wouldn't expect anyone to do more. Your son finding a friend who could do it was very kind and was probably the best deal she could get at this stage, but it seems she's unwilling to pay for the service she wants.

OP AND HER SON ARE GOING TO BE AWAY MOST OF THE FIRST WEEK!