AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

£30 for 2 weeks?

She should use a cat sitting agency

I don't think she'll find space in a cattery at this stage, most catteries get booked up well in advance. She could take some further action herself as the cat owner - there maybe other cat sitters or neighbours willing / able to help.

@Thepartwhereidrun

your son and gf sound lovely

they went round trying to find a solution- they didn’t have to - but they tried

hope you all enjoy your summer

Or she could pay the £15 a day offered

I wouldn't do it because of her rudeness and entitlement.

I've fed cats twice a day for a friend, but it isn't <10 minutes a visit as some are saying.

Takes time for the cat to come in, sit and stroke it, feed, look around for birds or mice that might have been brought in etc.

Easier if just chucking food in the bowl and leave of course but always tried to engage with the cat and send photos to the owner.

Exactly. And I had paused while typing that only to find the OP's update after but it seems OP isn't there anyway? So sorry, I answered that prematurely.

I bet they get more than £30 for two weeks

Could your teenager reply back with a quote to feed them?

YANBU at all. A quick Google would send her to any number of sites to find a suitable cat sitter. If she doesn't want to (or even take your DS up on his kind offer to do that research for her) then that's entirely her own fault.

I'm cat-sitting for my NDN one week this summer. They're away for 2 weeks but the first week overlaps our own holiday. They haven't made that my problem because 1) it's not my problem, 2) they aren't nutters like your CF NDN.

Nd op went from
“Son wants to come and go as he pleases” to “Son has lots of commitments that he wouldn’t want to let down”

I wasn’t affronted that my neighbour approached him without my knowledge. I only mentioned that to explain that when she came to the door, I wasn’t aware that she needed someone to look after her cat, that I wasn’t aware she had already spoken to my son about it and that I didn’t know exactly what he had told her at that point because he was still out. I spoke to him about it when he got home later on.

He is 18 and therefore she should have accepted that his no meant no. She was the one who treated him like a 10 year old, thinking that if she came and asked me to ask him, that he’d have to do it. He is 18 and makes his own decisions.

If she was a responsible pet owner, she would be willing to pay a professional for someone to look after her cat in the absence of someone she knows being able to do it. Trying to get someone to do it on the cheap doesn’t scream loving owner when you have the money to pay for a holiday.

Panic and desperation are not an excuse to guilt trip and pressure neighbours who have no obligation to her, nor is it an excuse for rudeness. We do not know her well enough for her to behave so familiarly.

If she wants to fall out, I really don’t care. We were kind and offered what we could.

But he isn't available to do it and doesn't want to do it, so why should he?

why?

OP's son has gone round to the neighbour's house to speak to her. He has explained that he can't look after the cat but he has a friend that would do it for £15 a day. She said that was too expensive.

She was obviously expecting OP's son to do it for £30 for two weeks' work.

No, firstly I said that my son told her no and that her he can’t help her. That should have been enough.

He told her that because he knows he has plans for the next few weeks. With the weather, the dates for camping are not confirmed but he is definitely going this week as the weather cools down. So yes, he wants to be able to come and go as he pleases, that is leave for camping maybe tomorrow, maybe Sunday, maybe Tuesday, when he pleases!

I don’t get why people make AIBU threads then argue tooth and nail with anyone who says yes? Obviously you’ve made up your mind.

Unless you have reason to think otherwise, I’d assume she’s been left in the lurch and can’t afford to pay for a cattery which are very pricey, or can’t afford £15 a day for the other teen. I’ve done some cat sitting before, it really is only 10 minutes. I don’t even like my neighbour on one side but I’d bob in and feed her cat for a week if she asked 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's still only ten minutes max. Less than, more likely.

Because I was in disbelief that someone could be so entitled and wanted to vent my frustration. If you don’t like mumsnet being used in that way, report my post and take it up with mumsnet.

If the vast majority would have said I’m being unreasonable, I’d have had to rethink my stance as obviously I’d have been missing something. I wasn’t though and it seems she is just a cheeky fucker.

You are not being unreasonable, she is, and it's really rude of her to ask multiple times and try to guilt trip you. No means no.
Hope she doesn't just abandon the cat though, she probably didn't have a cat sitter booked at all

It’s not a mumsnet issue. I just don’t get the point in posting this when you obviously aren’t going to hear otherwise tbh. I think it’s fairly obvious you weren’t ever going to rethink your view.

I would too.

So would OP.

So would OP's son.

BUT THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE THERE.

“She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable.”

This doesn’t scream “he has too much on” and I think it’s reasonable people are raising an eyebrow at the change in reasoning.

Well it’s become increasingly obvious that NDN cat lady is a CF of the highest order so why should OP rethink her opinion?

You missed out where I said before that, that he had said no and that he couldn’t help. He said he couldn’t help because he has plans. Those plans are not yet firm due to the weather but they will be happening, so yes, he wants to come and go as he pleases which is what I said. He is 18 and can do what he likes when he likes after a stressful few months. If he wants to leave tomorrow or Tuesday or any other day, he wants to be free to do that. He can do that because he doesn’t have a cat to think of.

To be perfectly honest, if he said he wanted to just spend a few weeks off doing absolutely nothing, he can, even if that means the neighbour having to cancel her fucking holiday! Eyebrows can be raised as much as you like, the neighbours holiday plans aren’t our problem to solve.

She has proved she is a cheeky bastard and some people are still arguing for her.