AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

yanbu. She’s a chancer. Especially as she’s not even bothered trying any other actual cat sitting services. Sounds like she’s just trying to get away with paying next to nothing.

@Thepartwhereidrun as soon as you said she'd offered your son £30 I suspected she was being cheap and trying it on. 2 visits a day for 14 days would cost at the very minimum £308 around here, and no, you wouldn't expect to pay a neighbour that obviously, but £30 (and her revised rate of £50) is very mean considering it would impact anyone's day considerably. I think I'd mute or archive her now, your son has offered her an alternative solution and she's refused it so it's entirely her choice to miss out on the holiday. She sounds deeply selfish anyway as she can't seem to comprehend your son is not available, at her convenience, for next to nothing, so any relationship you had with her is spoilt now anyway - you are deservedly pissed off and she will blame you despite the fact her cheapness is the problem. It's also very telling that she didn't find an alternative solution herself, if she's anti catteries there are multiple platforms that offer cat sitting like catinaflat.com, but of course no one there will be doing it for £1 a visit.

Could you write a letter that OP can copy and paste to her boss, explaining why she’s not going on her work trip?

OP is in need, and I’m sure you’ll help her out.

I find it hard to understand that she would rather cancel her holiday than pay someone £15 per day which is a solution she’s been offered.

@MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo do you really think anyone would want to do 28 visits to feed a cat for £30? Or even £50? If it involved any type of transport, car, bus etc you'd be making a loss immediately 😂

Well done to your son. She is a total cheapskate chancer. And the cheek of her trying to guilt trip. She has plenty of options so she won't have to cancel her holiday. She just doesn't want to take them and have to pony up the cash.

No way to this cheeky F behaviour.

Your son could offer to do it for minimum wage and charge two hours per day to cover the inconvenience.

14 x 2 x £12.71 = £355.88

He could even give her a discount and do it for £350 as a neighbourly favour.

Money up front.

Oh that changes things slightly. Ignore my previous post then 🤦‍♂️😱

Why doesn’t she just ask on facebook? Someone would do it.

She's taking the piss and some of the responses you've had are ridiculous.

She probably doesn't want to pay actual wages to someone, that's why.

Right her plan was always that OP’s son would do it for next to nothing as she assumed he would be spending his time post A levels loitering around with nothing to do and would be grateful for a few pennies thrown at him. Loads of assumptions from me there I know…

Yep - I would definitely do this. It's only for a week. A bit tight not to help out.

Teenagers down our street are happy to do cat care as they get paid for it.

Mine doesn't have a litter tray he comes and goes as he likes when we are on holiday. Someone just comes and fills his food and water twice a day the same as we do when we are at home.

Trouble is by saying you'll do the first week only,you run the risk of ending up doing the 2 weeks as surprise surprise there's now an issue with whoever was meant to take over/there was never going to be another person taking over. CF neighbour sounds like she has form.

At least read the OP's responses. She's away for work for several days as is her DS.

The ops son came up with someone who could cat sif for her for £15 a day and she said no - so the only person who’s “tight” is the cat owner!

no one so far (haven't RTFT because the "be kind" brigade are making me nauseous) has mentioned that its not just feeding the cat or even doing the litter tray. For those two weeks, you will be responsible for the cat....making sure its safe and not unwell, sorting vet if it does get sick, checking its home if its an outdoor cat, and trying to find it if its not home, making sure house isn't overheating if its an indoor cat. When you take on looking after and animal for a week, its not just plonk the food down and leave, its RESPONSIBILITY.

You DS sounds lovely going round there to talk to her! You have both done everything you can to help her. I would also suspect that she never did arrange a cat sitter in the first place and has left things til the last minutes to kind of guilt trip you into doing it - backfired though! She doesn't want to pay.

My many local community Facebook groups always have people asking for cat sitters/pet help and there are always several people keen to help out, for a fee, naturally. Let her worry about it!

TBF I cannot be arsed reading the OPs responses.

But ok - yeah - that is a problem. We all love animals in our house and offer with neighbours dog/cat/rabbit etc. If i couldn't do it there are 3 other family members happy to help.

I guess the OP is less fortunate.

The neighbour won't get a cattery that isn't fully booked at this time of year! Or she wouldn't round here.

She's a CF isn't she! I expect she thought she'd give you a guilt trip sufficient that you would agree! Well that back fired didn't it.

and shes been offered someone to pop in for £15 a day and to have responsibility of the cat. £105. A lot cheaper than a cattery!

Come back and update us as to whether she did actually go on holiday OP!

If you can't do it, you can't do it. It's honestly as simple as that. I used to look after my NDN's pet when they were away, sometimes for two weeks at a time, and honestly it was very tying. We couldn't really do much spontaneous as we had to be there three times a day for feeding and walk (and I went in more for company as I felt sorry for the animal).. I did it to keep the peace, but to be honest, if I wasn't so much of a pushover I'd have said no. I never got paid.

She needs to ask someone else, a friend or family member, or pay a cat sitter. That's just the fact of the matter.

Don't be ridiculous, she doesn't need a lecture. She is a responsible pet owner hence her booking a cat sitter rather than letting it roam the streets for two weeks. Her cat sitter is ill - things happen and she is panicking.

The OP's son is perfectly entitled to turn it down for the reasons she has given, although I don't know why she was seemed affronted that the neighbour approached her son without her knowledge. If he has just finished his 'A' levels he'll be around 17/18. It's not as if she approached a 10 year old to hide stolen goods or sell drugs.

However, the neighbour was rude when the OP went back to her saying her dog sitter could help the second week. There was no need for her to be so snappy. As other people have suggested, leave it now, don't respond, it was desperation talking. There is no need to fall out over this but also, no need to do any more.

Well done your DS, he sounds assertive in the best way.
I got caught out doing a similar favour for my neighbours & in the end they just took the piss. I wasn't impressed to be presented with a printout of all their holiday dates for the year one January. And we're talking month long cruises & several other long haul trips.

This was an elderly pet with health issues & it was taking me ages. They went away a LOT & were dismissive of my time whilst bragging about their travels.

So I said I didn't want to do it anymore & shes hardly spoken to me since! She moved straight onto another neighbour & then another lady from across the street. I felt a bit sorry for the poor pet, they so obviously weren't prepared to put themselves out when others could do it for them

I was never paid & some of the 'gifts' they bought me were an insult!
I'd never get involved again.