Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

I think <kindly> that the op feels inadequate as her and dh don't have bbqs, friends round, nice socialable evenings and the neighbours daring to do it is subconsciously rubbing her nose in it.

So rather than accept that she feels awkward at her own poor social life she's doing this weird blame thing to allow her resentment to be channelled somehow.

Tolerance and acceptance op are your friends here or else the excess bile and vitriol will give you a peptic ulcer .

This reminds me of the simpsons where the woman says ‘will somebody please think of the children’ clutching her pearls 😂
yes the sun has clouded your thoughts.

this was comical reading though thank you

Buy the trampoline.

You’ve said there the same age as you but you sound like you’re in your 50’s and incredibly entitled. I get the noise might irritate you, sure, but your husband ‘imposing ground rules’ blimey, you’re not their parents ffs! Personally I’d rather listen to peoples drunken conversations and such, far more entertaining than kids playing 😖
maybe look at why you’re judging them so much, what they wear, what they do, how they socialise, how they work etc and work in that. Just because you don’t like them, doesn’t mean you’re right! And as for what they wear, none of your business

lol let us know how that goes for him. 😂😂😂

ground rules for what someone can do in their own property.thats even funnier than the rota.

I think this, she’s envious of their social life, their friends, the fact the women wear skimpy bikinis, and she’s no friends, no social life and doesn’t feel comfortable in a bikini.

but you’d need to be utterly insane to think you can suggest ground rules to a neighbour in terms of what they can do in their own property. Even as a landlord you’d struggle. I can’t even imagine that conversation, I think we’d both blink a few times, laugh in his face, shut the door, ramp it up and tell everyone.

It’s the most insane thing I’ve read. Well this madness and the lady who wants to wear cream to her brothers wedding and thinks it’s her mums wedding as she’s paid some of the costs.😂

Me too
Her hubby will impose ground rules
Hahahaha
Will he now... how is he going to do that..?
the entitlement hanging out of her
sounds a right pearl clutches and judgmental snob !
Deeply unpleasant

Your hubby will impose ground rules
Will he now... how is he going to do that..?
the entitlement hanging out of you because you moved in there first ... because most people in your street have kids!
Who do you think you are that you can dictate what people do in their own gardens?
You sound a right judgmental snob !
Deeply unpleasant

You sound completely potty.

Why do you keep mentioning that you moved in before them? That’s completely irrelevant.

You seem so uptight.

I'm interested to hear how the convo with the neighbour went. But I don't think we'll find out some how partly because I think her h won't say anything and is only saying he will to keep Op off of his back and this thread is a funny little story that couldn't be true in a million years.

The op said “propose ground rules” not “impose”. That’s important

the general tone was quite old fashioned and I get why she hasn’t won total sympathy but I would LOVE it if it were ween as reasonable to say to noisy, domineering neighbours “you can have x time; olease can I have y time for quiet”. Youre not saying go indoors, or go out; just allow your neighbours to have some quiet time. Not all quiet time: SOME quiet time

Ground rules 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

Another entitled neighbour, put the note through the door and confirm you are unhinged.
Your husband going round would for me be a red rag to a bull. I would tell him to clear off and take his ground rules with him. Vaping and a woman in a bikini in their own garden is none of your business. Him talking too loud is annoying but not illegal.
Leave them alone.

I would 10000000% prefer to hear anything BUT children.

This has to be a wind up

I'm quite bemused as to why someone who is easily bothered by normal, everyday noise bought a house on a new build estate where the houses are all crammed in

Exactly - it makes no sense!

I don’t think you’ve a leg to stand on if your kids are playing outside.

It just seems that OP and her neighbours are poles apart. She says she and H are similar ages to the neighbours ''in their early 30's I think'' first post but she writes and sounds like my dear old gran used to speak when she was in her 80's, 'These young women today putting themselves on display with their underwear showing" OP certainly does not come across as being in the age group she claims to be with such odd writing /thinking 🤔

You sound slightly unhinged! I’m totally lost why you would buy a new build where it’s sounds like your garden is right next to your neighbours when you’re so uptight and expect your neighbours not use their garden to appease your uptight unhinged ways!

You don’t have many friends do you?

I’m struggling to believe this could be real. Neighbourly ground rules, for fucks sake 💀

I'd much rather listen to someones dating history than children screaming. Screaming would give me a headache, dating history can be interesting. But, I am a nosey bugger.

You bought a house on a new build estate. How much peace and privacy did you think you would get?!

I don't need a huge, raucous social life that involves me pickling my liver, getting my tits out in the back garden or sucking on a tin whistle to get a hit of nicotine! I'm no longer 21 and unlike them, I don't pretend to be. Most people I know are at home with their families. I am far from jealous.