Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

Yeh this is real

I hate neighbour noise but this sounds like normal noise to me. Loud music I completely agree should stop but talking isn’t a problem really.

The meal-time rota and complaints about wearing of bikinis is unreasonable.

However they are being loud and inconsiderate. They may not realise how loud they are - or how easily the aound travels, particularly if you come inside when they are out. The answer might be to stay out more, so they hear your noise too. Or have a neighbourly chat about how hot it is, aren't you lucky having gardens to escape to, hope the kids noise isn't bothering them too much, wouldn't it be lovely if you had bigger gardens with more space, less shared noise, a pool to cool off in....

I wouldn't worry too much about the bbq smell or vapes. You live somewhere with lots of other people, you have to put up with other people same as they do.

YABVVVU. You are not “entitled” to enjoy your garden in “peace”.

Your neighbour is happily enjoying his garden, as he should, and so should you. If you won’t do that because you’re too hung up on what your neighbour is doing then that really is your problem.

Lol @ prancing. Would it be ok if they were just walking?

The socialising wouldn't bother me at all but the amount if people wfhing and bellowing down their laptop screens these days is out of control

Play the radio really loud

In terms of the teams meeting and GDPR, you can go full passive aggressive and relay some of it over the phone to a friend as gossip whilst in earshot in your garden. He may well get the message and rein it in.

Let your kids be free to be as loud as your neighbours. I'm sure the Teams meetings will have to move indoors in the summer holidays.

If you genuinely believe they are regularly drink driving, report it via the non urgent police website.

Other than that the rest is just having neighbours.

Selfish neighbours wont care about your idea of a rota to be honest. They will probably just tell you to go away.
I suggest you get a super powerful garden hose and a ladder and spray them to fuck every time you can hear them over the fence.
Let us know how it goes.

Yes, I prance too, and I make loud neighing sounds. I didn't know it was possible to wear a bikini without doing this.

A rota 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You completely ludicrous person!😂

Thank god I'm not this miserable

Whenever I wear a bikini, I have to prance. It is compulsory!

No - she does not 'sound mental'.

@Guarddogdaschunds your neighbours sound insufferable. But sadly I doubt very much they would be on board with designated times in the garden

I put YANBU because I feel bad for you - but I guess it is unreasonable to impose rules on other people in their own garden.

We live in a semi and one summer the other half was used as an Air B and B. Lots of parties - puking in the garden - drunken singing til 2am. And on one memorable occasion shagging in the dining room in the day - with windows open. My 7 year old asking 'why is that lady making those funny noises?😂😁

It’s not unreasonable to expect people to be considerate of others, of course not. However lots of people these days are completely selfish. I don’t think you can really say anything (except maybe about the vaping)

Do you ever sit outside with your partner and children? How do you use your garden? Think about ways to make it better for you- don’t just avoid using it - make the most of having outside space
Get the kids a pool for the summer and let them enjoy it then you’d be less likely to hear the neighbours
They do say that good fences make good neighbours so deal with that if low fences are the problem

“Prancing”, “vape particles”, “skimpy bikinis” - oh dear, oh dear me. Judgemental on steroids.

The heat has got to you. They are enjoying their garden and no you can’t have designated times 😂.
I mean you can ask but you’ll be forever known as the crazy lady next door

Yabu, judgemental and prudish - but ask for a rota, let us know how that works out for you 😂

I’d tear the rota up in your face and slam the door … then my bbqs would go on until midnight.

Don't be ridiculous OP … this has to be a wind up!

I doubt your kids are particularly quiet! You’re just used to their noise.

This is 3rd thread you've posted about women in their own gardens. I see you, pervert.

Being a neighbour is given and take. I had neighbours that never used their garden for the best part of 7 years. I had 2 small kids so never really had to worry about them annoying them. Last year we got new neighbours and they have a toddler who is always screaming and they often have BBQ etc. I just figured we have been lucky for so long that it's not worth nothing about. They are entitled to use their garden and have good neighbourly relations is so important as very easily they can make you life hell. As it is we have polite chat and she text be to bring my washing in if they are having a BBQ.
None of the things your neighbour is doing is actually that bad. Just ekt your kids play out and disturb their teams calls.

You do seem to be losing the plot.

I think I would also be irritated by this but you live in a house that is very close to other houses - I'm assuming that was a conscious choice. I don't think we can really complain when we then hear noise from neighbours etc. The women prancing round in bikinis was hilarious, Jeez it's their garden we're in a heat wave. Do you not take your kids to swimming pools or the beach?

It sounds like they are reasonably stopping talking outside etc at 9pm so it could be a lot worse.

If you're out there with your DCs then you could put on a bit of music for you to hear that will reduce the silence on your side and stop you focusing on their conversations.

You absolutely cannot ask your neighbours if you can tag team using your gardens. They will think you are crazy.