Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

It's annoying having neighbours like that. I feel the same but you can't ask them to use their garden at a designated time.
I think you should just use your garden and key your children play noisy games, play football etc.

Ground rules?? OMG, this sound like a dad taking his teens to task. 🙄I would be giving him and his ground rules a short reply tbh. I think most sane people would.

Or a convent.

I do understand that loud and intrusive noise can be annoying BUT there is very little that you can do about it.
Honestly I’d rather listen to other people’s gossip than screaming children but I am nosy!
The bikini thing- have you never been to the beach? Or the swimming pool? What do you wear on holiday? Unless they’re completely naked they can wear what they want in their own private garden. Stop staring.

Agree with this.
You are mad they can do as they wish in their garden.
Is this a wind up?🙄

I'm quite bemused as to why someone who is easily bothered by normal, everyday noise bought a house on a new build estate where the houses are all crammed in to maximise the developers' profits, tbh.

There's a new estate near me where the "detached" houses are so crammed in that there's only a foot or two between the gutters of neighbouring properties.

Make notes of his conversations and ask him questions about it over the fence e.g. Did Bob get the order for the Woolworths project and did he have to drop the price to £825k?

If the OP does this then it just makes them look like a complete knob and will affect other neighbours with noise.
Reasonable noise but there is no need to add shite music and potentially screaming kids on purpose. That's just rubbish having to listen to shrieking kids.
Having said that I don't think OP would allow her kids to scream and yell anyway.

Yes, if there is limited arm movement it could just be garden variety gamboling.

Op, their garden activities sound fine. Obviously annoying for you but fine nonetheless.

You must have some kind of social anxiety that their mere presence upsets you like this.

Try some calming apps, try some music on your headphones. Believe me if your husband goes and makes a tit of himself complaining over nothing at all your level of awkwardness will go up a gear.

Mad. Thats the risk you take with buying a new build with tiny gardens.

Tongue in cheek-

Having a spa day used to solve the worlds problems as did having a glass of prosecco. Now we can prance in our bikinis or underwear if you prefer and feel fabulous. I'm going to wear my bikini to the beach. That'll show 'em.😁

On a serious note OP, I think your behaviour and attitude will affect your kids more than the neighbours. You need to lighten up and do what the neighbours are doing, which is enjoy your garden and let your kids do the same. Buy them the trampoline. If they are typical children including a 9 year old boy you shouldn't be able to hear what the neighbours are saying - you shouldn't be able to hear yourself think. If you were playing with them, instead of listening out for the neighbours and watching what they're wearing, it would bother you less. Ushering them inside because neighbours are outside is ridiculous - honestly. Are DC allowed to be loud and noisy in the garden at all?

@GuarddogdaschundsIf you tried to set ground rules as to what I could wear, talk about or eat and drink in my own garden I’d tell you where to go.

You’re being absolutely ridiculous. They might be annoying you but unfortunately that is part and parcel of living in close proximity to other people.
If they were hosting noisy parties until the early hours then you’d have a point. But it sounds like they’re pretty respectful finishing at 9pm.

Oh dear. Get a life. Both you and your husband.

You are letting this get to
you way more than it should. Let the kids out when he’s doing team meetings. Let them kick the ball against the fence or make loud noises. You get to enjoy your garden as much as they do.

I’m so enjoying this! Some of the comments are making me laugh out loud!
My prancing years are over sadly, but I’d love to see how it goes.

I'm not convinced this is a genuine post but if it is, please let us know what happens when your husband (who thinks you are being ridiculous) goes next door to "agree" some ground rules.

well that wouldn’t work. Giver her five minutes and she’ll be giving Mother Superior ground rules for what time she can say her Hail Mary’s 😂

I would 100% prefer to hear dating escapades than screeching kids. In fact it sounds quite entertaining. Escapades is nearly as good a word as prancing. You are on a roll!
OP you are causing yourself stress. Try to accept the fact that you cannot stop people doing quite reasonable things in their own garden. You will feel better for it.

Baby Shark should do it and the squeak of early morning trampolining

There's everything wrong with some officious, prudish assholes trying to make rules for other people in their own backyards.

I'd rather hear their chisme and rants than your kids' screeching. Even my cat knows that's the real entertainment. 🍿

Deepest sympathies to the OP. Whilst you can't say anything, they are utterly selfish.

This HAS to be a windup!

It there garden should they stay in quietly because a neighbour has chosen to work from his garden? I agree with the kdis shrieking as I cant stand it and dont allow my kids or any others in my garden to do it but there is no reason they cant play out. If he wants quiet best go in inside and work which he should be doing anyway due to teh GBDR act.