Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

You sound really irrational here

Maybe don’t buy yourself a pokey house if this sort of thing pisses you off. Why buy a house in such proximity to neighbours if this is your reaction?

you seem jealous of their age as ultimately nothing they have done is unreasonable, unfortunately they’re entitled to do what they want in their garden. They aren’t obliged to go on a rota with you

My thoughts exactly!

I cant imagine listening into grown up work chat as a child

Can we please have a video of how your 'hubby's' request for them to stop talking in their own garden goes?

I just try and do very little that will negatively affect neighbours and hope they do the same for me. In general we're all pretty respectful of each other

You haven't seen yesterday's naked neighbours thread, then?

'He is going to pop over and agree some ground rules'.

Wow! He is as daft as you. If one of my neighbours suggested to me that we need to agree ground rules I would tell them where to go, especially if I had friends round at the time.

Mind your own business and stop being the neighbour from hell.

"Unsavoury"! I hope you've got those pearls securely strung, OP, or they'll be all over the floor in no time.

They're not wearing anything that you wouldn't see on any beach or at any public pool, and they're in the privacy of their own garden. And as I understand it, it's perfectly legal to be naked in your own garden as long as you're not doing it deliberately to annoy your or upset your neighbours.

Think yourself lucky they're not naturists, they'd be showing an awful lot more flesh if they were!

I mean you can ask.
And then you can come back here and tell us how it went.

I recommend a detached bungalow in an area with other bungalows. It means no-one is overlooked and most of the neighbours are elderly. It's a bit more convenient than being in the middle of nowhere, much as I like the idea of that.

It sounds very annoying but there's nothing you can do.

OMG this has made me LOL... I am the mid 30's married neighbor with no kids and a dog... like to socialise and have bbq's etc... but then so do my neighbors who have kids and are older than me. I am sure they are not the only people around about you who have such activities? Or do you just not like them?

There have been lots of parties/events/bbqs/ around us where there are kids shouting and screaming, trampolines being bounced on, footballs being rattled off fences etc. people out jet washing cars at 8am when I want a lie in...
But that's just part of living in an estate, which we knew when we moved there!

I would tread very carefully with putting a note through the door like that... you may well end up having more problems than you already have. People don't tend to take kindly to these sort of things.

And in reality, you might hear these conversations (or are you eavesdropping?), but if your kids are preoccupied with playing or doing whatever they are doing then I doubt they are tuning in to it the same way you are.

If my neighbour put a note through my door like that, I would post it back.

@banmusk behave like what?

Anyone called 'House' yet? 😀

Haha! ‘This is why the countryside was invented.’ Love it! 😂

There’s no way this is real! Entertaining? Absolutely! Real? Nope! 🤪

I needed a laugh! They can wear what they like in their own garden, even just underwear if they want. Stop looking! And once your children are playing and making a noise in the garden they would probably say the same about not being able to enjoy themselves because of the racket. Works both ways. Thinking about it, this can’t be real.

There is nothing wrong with my DH proposing some ground rules that we can collectively agree on-we are all living within a few metres of each other after all! We have lived here a few years longer than the couple; they moved in last year and this is primarily a family area, almost everyone on our road has kids!

I'm sure that most people would rather hear my children in the garden as opposed to listening to dating escapades, loud bitching about their work colleagues and drunken conversations. I have purposely avoided buying a trampoline as I believe they are antisocial in estates.

Of course it isn’t but being that entitled that you actually think you can move into a new estate and then allocate your neighbours designated time in their own garden is utterly bonkers.

Honestly, get over yourself. You’re really not that important. You don’t get to lay down ground rules to you neighbours just because you moved in first. Listen to yourself for goodness sakes. You don’t own the surrounding properties, stop being a princess and grow up.

We did the same, moved to the country and its been bloody fabulous. I was never able to enjoy being in the garden before we moved here, other people's noise used to drive me barmy. Sometimes I have to pinch myself that we've got no neighbours and that this is actually our house. Its amazing!

Try enjoying your garden and not worrying about what the neighbours do

Play your music ,- pick something classical or choral. Have a party. Make a bit of a din. Maybe they'll realise how loud they are.

Actually the dating escapades sound much more fun than noisy children

I remember that one. The kids had posh names too.

Looking forward to the update.....