Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

Hope it is cheering and not laughing! My daughter's family have a set up through the computer so they can watch matches outside but they learned that their commentary was behind real time when the groans for Kane's first penalty were heard before they'd seen him take it. Back inside, quickly!
The OP can take comfort in the number of brownie points she acquired ready for the school holidays and the mid August moans from next door!

How to piss your neighbours off, ground rules they’ll more likely show you the door than discuss anything! You sound more irrational by the minute! Next week it will be raining so you won’t see or hear them! Just remember when your children are playing outside not everyone wants to hear them squealing which no doubt they do!

Ground rules 😬 This is not going to go well.

They probably do al this and the neighbour up with it with good grace! OP sounds unhinged!

They’re going to laugh in your face, OP.

It’s not up to you to set ground rules.

You sound awfully uptight and anxious and afraid of fun. You’re only in your thirties!

Im glad youre not my neighbour tbh. Ill give you the benefit of hoping you have some sort of sunstroke and its made you temporarily batshit

”Ground rules”? I would be telling him where to go and shutting the door in his face 🤣

I don’t think “ground rules” will go down well you will sound like patronising old farts even if you’re a similar age. Getting your husband to deal with it is a shout tho, I always delegate stuff like that to my DH because I’m hot headed (not a good trait but at least I’m aware of it).

There’s a post somewhere on here about neighbours being naked in their garden so think yourself lucky 😂

Seriously though, you have no right to object to people wearing swimwear in their own garden.

It sounds like this estate is not for you. Obviously you can get lucky and have quiet neighbours but it’s always a gamble.

Live and let live.

You can't issue them with a timetable as to when they can or cannot use their own garden.
Believe me you could have far worse neighbours!

I assume you never go on holiday and see people in swimwear? It sounds like normal “people” behaviour. We’ve had the bbq out, pizza oven on other nights. DHs friends came over the night of the football and sat in the garden chatting beforehand. DS plays football in the garden with a foam ball. It’s normal living, but sounds like we’re your worst nightmare too 😂

How on earth do you cope at a beach, OP. All those people prancing in their undergarments!

You are 100% in the wrong, that’s Estate life.

Every time I see the word prance, this is what comes to mind

Just get your dc's friends round, paddling pool out.

It sounds like everyday acceptable noise levels tbf. If they were partying at 2am I'd understand but chatting, albeit loudly, in a garden at the times you say is normal behaviour.

If someone popped round to my house to set some “ground rules” I would be louder, squeakier and bigger booms.

OP you do realise that they may not like hearing your kids in the garden, but you have to put up with these things.

also very strange you’re looking at what they’re wearing, I think that’s very VERY inappropriate.

So, their female visitors must not expose more skin than you feel comfortable seeing when choosing to look into their garden from your window, and the topics of conversation they chose to engage in should be topics deemed appropriate for your children to overhear?

Now I did raise my eyebrows when an old neighbour chose to wear a string bikini in her garden. Which wasn't a garden really. It was a patch of grass cars half parked on in front of her house facing the whole cul-de-sac. But live and let live.

You absolutely cannot move into the busy new build estate and then complain about living in close proximity to people or how they use their own garden at perfectly reasonable hours. It's a fucking given.

New houses built far too close together nowadays, imo. I wouldn't want to live in one and be surrounded on all sides by other houses, all with windows overlooking my tiny garden.

My advice, OP, is that you should sell up, move out and look for a house with more privacy and fewer neighbours! Find a scruffy old house somewhere, built at least 60 years ago, that has a decent sized garden and isn't overlooked.

Maybe you should move to a nunnery to keep your innocent eyes away from all the, gasp, naked flesh.

I’m in my sixties and think you are being Very Weird about people wearing swimwear in their own garden during a heatwave.

Are they really acting like teenagers though or are you just, for some reason, surprised that people in their early 30s who don’t have kids don’t just sit staring into the abyss and socialise instead?

Get over yourself. The bikini comment?! Ffs

They can wear, or not wear, whatever the hell they like!

I see your comment and raise you one, we had our neighbours over to spend one evening sat in our above ground pool in bikini / swim shorts. I wonder if our neighbour on the other side was moaning about next door drinking, talking, BBQing and wearing bikinis?