Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

You’re utterly absurd. If this is what upsets you, sell up and move to somewhere remote and isolated.

If you don’t want neighbours, move somewhere you don’t have them.

You have no right to expect others to modify what sounds like perfectly normal behaviour.

Op can't you get your kids scresming a bit ,water guns footballs etc !

"The women have been prancing around in their bikinis"

Wow.

I feel your pain, in that our neighbour also dominates the space- he uses power tools, their dog upset my dog and was out all the time, spa, loud, music, karaoke… I’d never plan to entertain in the garden, as chances are they’d be noisy next door.

In your situation though, it would be resolved by playing your own music. Put a kids playlist on, and it will mask their chatter.

You don’t want to hear the details of his meetings, you don’t want to over hear details of their conversations, you don’t want to see women in bikinis while you peer intently out your upstairs window stalking them and keeping a tally of how many drinks it appears they may have consumed.
You sound mental.

Sounds completely normal to me! Me and my neighbour had been chatting over the fence to each other yesterday both in our bikinis! What do you do when you go on holiday? Just stop looking out your window into their garden and give them some privacy! If the noise bothers you put on some headphones! It’s just part and parcel of being in a semi detached/terraced house!

This is why we moved, throw in a hot tub, discussions about drugs and quietish music till 2 in the morning. On a week day as well as weekends . Then their kids out all day screaming with grandma. Young couple, 30s professional jobs. My peaceful back garden became unusable. So glad we moved before lockdown!

ETA we would also have friends round but were more considerate of neighbours.

I feel your pain, we have to put up with loud phone conversations, scraping of plates, repeatedly shouting at the dog, and loud Teams calls as they both WFH.
However, it will get worse if you complain.
You need to either accept it or look to move.

You are deluded.
Go live in the middle of nowhere where there are not other people if you don't want to hear people.

You are no more entitled to use the garden than them.

OP do you not think k you're kids, making the most of their time off, would be running around shrieking with water guns or similar? Which would be fine by the way. You simply cannot expect to buy on a new build estate and expect tje sort of privacy you want

This is why the countryside was invented

FGS you bought a house in a new building estate what did you expect in the summer? Get out and enjoy your garden.

God typos! Sorry.

Don't chat to them. They aren't blaring music or making noise til late, they are just living life.

Not being snarky but move somewhere where you have more space. If you can't, then this is close living and it definitely could be worse.

9pm isn’t unreasonable for people to be chatting outside. One of my neighbours likes to watch films in his garden room, which blare out at gone 10pm, so I’d be delighted if someone’s BBQ was wrapped up by 9pm.

I’d suggest when he’s working outside loudly on teams calls, put some music on. You then won’t hear him and he might go inside!

The vaping comment is unreasonable. It could be worse - cigarette fumes (which are actually harmful) or weed! The bikini comment is also unreasonable.

What am I even reading lol. Who even thinks this sort of stuff up.

no op, you cannot, well you can, but can you film it and post it here so we can watch how that goes for you?

to clarify, your neighbours are free to do all these things and more in their own gardens, if you did not wish to be in such close proximity to other people you should not have bought a typical new build.

honestly one of the more insane things I’ve read on here.😂

Of course the women had to be ‘prancing’ in their skimpy bikinis. As soon as I put on a bikini, I immediately start prancing.

If this is not a wind-up, you’re being utterly beyond ridiculous. But please suggest your rota idea to the neighbours so they can tell you to fuck off.

Just spend the time in your garden. Play your music. Take up your space. You can’t stop people enjoying their garden but it shouldn’t stop you e joying yours.

You are being very judgemental. God forbid a woman should wear a bikini in a private garden !

Its also quite possible some people weren't drinking so your drink driving accusation is totally unfounded.

By all means pop round and ask then if they'd keep their voice down if having less pg conversations. Ultimately you have neighbours, sometimes you'll hear them.

Please say something to them and post their response.

you are asking people to not enjoy their gardens so you can enjoy yours?
you are unreasonable in the following ways
Bikini is their garden is fine, it’s their private space.
vaping in their garden, although not pleasant, is legal and allowed.
9pm is not late, they legally can be later.
you actually don’t know what their guests were drinking.

op, you seem to be far too invested in others lives.
teach your children to accept that others live their lives differently to you.

Nothing wrong with a bikini in your own garden, I do it.
why would the friends be drink driving - what makes you think that everyone was drinking.
chatter from gardens are normal, are you guys not also making noise?
mid you don’t want to hear their conversations put some music on.

All that would piss me off too, which is why we bought a house in the middle of nowhere. A few friends turned their nose up and made comments like “oh I could never live somewhere I can’t walk to everything”, but let me tell you it’s bloody worth it to be able to do whatever we like in our own garden and not have to put up with anyone else’s noise or smells. Absolute bliss in the summer, I could never go back to living in a place with close garden neighbours.

An outdoor mealtime rota? If this thread isn't a wind up then nothing is. To coin that old MN phrase, give your head a wobble OP. You cannot tell other people how to use their gardens. Put some music on to mask the talking. Let your 9yo run around and play (not sit listening to the neighbours convo). Stop spying on them from upstairs windows. Honestly, it does sound as though the heat has affected your thinking.

We had neighbours like this. My DH suddenly had a interest in basketball. It's amazing the power a basketball being continually bounced on the patio had!