Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

Move.

Yes. Do this. And then please update the thread 🤣🫠

Your neighbours sound completely nornal to me. They dont invite you though. Does that bother you at all?

Stop judging them and teaching your dc to be judgy and get on with life.
Hiding indoors!

High fences, some tall plants, Bikini, and get prancing:)

I feel your pain. It’s awful when there’s no escape. Obviously making a rota is absurd but wouldn’t it be fabulous!

My NDN dominates the space now too. Dog barking and radio blaring when he’s out; kid screaming, hot tub roaring, YouTube, tv, FaceTime when they’re home. Nobody in the street sits out anymore because of them.

Well no you can't! Don't be ridiculous 🙄

I think all new build houses are like this. Everyone is expected to live on top of one another. It is modern life. People are entitled to use their gardens as and when they want. Let you kids out with water guns and a paddling pool - he’ll soon go indoors.
As for bikinis and BBQ’s nothing to be done there.
if you think people are drink driving you should be reporting it.

The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows!

Do you never go swimming or to the beach? How do you survive if you do?

Oh dear……….this reminded me of the Catherine Tate sketch…….posh bird with 2 kids, distraught because the Nanny had gone away and the agency sent a replacement (shock horror when she arrived and spoke in a northern accent)…….having a picnic and someone ate a yoghurt that was one day out of date (shock horror they were going to die)……cooking with the kids and discovering they’d run out of brie!
Come on OP, live and let live! Stop with the bedroom curtain twitching, put on your bikini and prance around in your own garden like no one’s watching!

ps No offence intended to any northerners in my Catherine Tate reference….I live up north myself 👍

You need to live somewhere that’s not a new build estate if you want quieter gardens.

Definitely do it. And come tell us what they say..

Okay 2 points here. The first being you should not be hearing details of his team meetings. He will probably breaching his companies policies and its unacceptable. Also having being subjected to living next door to someone who ran a home business for years and who screamed, swore and shrieked loudly for hours daily and disclosed personal information about there family and marriage i can understand how awful the noise is. Its horrible as you cannot sit in your garden and enjoy even a moments peace without hearing a constant level of noise which is often at an anti social level. I got to the point even open my back door wss causing me anxiety and stress because the level of noise was awful and language.

The rest of your complaints are ridiculous. They are entitled to use there garden in it and have bbqs. Vape and chat. 9pm is no late and although I personally dislike vapes or smoke its perfectly acceptable for people to do that in there own garden. If you cant accept general day to day noise like that then you need to move somewhere you have mo neighbours.

I guarantee your note won't go down well! I wouldn't like to live next door to them, but realistically I don't think there's much you do. Can you look at moving? New builds typically have small gardens; you could probably find an older bigger house with bigger garden (more distance from neighbours) for the same price as your new build.

Just let your children play outside, get them a pool or something to encourage them.. One person's vaping in the open air won't harm them, and it they're noisy enough they'll probably drive the neighbour to have his online meetings back indoors.

"Prancing" 😂

I mean you live in a new build where it’s house on house garden on garden often without even having an access gate.

What exactly did you expect. You live ontop of each other. A new build estate is my idea of hell unless it’s one of those executive ones and even they are piled close enough. Give me an old council semi large gardens and no rear neighbours.

But yes you’d be unreasonable. Just use your own garden no fucks given. Often us and our neighbour are both bbqing or our children are playing we don’t need to alternate who can be outside.

Send your kids in the garden. Encourage them to play outside during the holidays.

Stop focusing on next door.

This place gets more bonkers every day. It’s comedy gold.

If I got that note through my door, I’d read it, think you were a nutter and throw it away.

Plant some heading that will grow, it will take a bit of attention at first watering etc but once established- 3 years say - will be a natural sound barrier, good for wildlife and nicer than just a fence.

All this is only a problem for your kids if you make it so. And you sound like you feel you are entitled to peace in a new build! Are you insane?

New builds pack people in, should’ve looked at older properties if you wanted a bit of space between houses.

Childless working couple who like to use their garden and have friends round. They are not booming music late, smoking weed or have kids banging a ball against the fence.

You might have sensitivity to noise but that’s going to be a problem everywhere.

I would go the other way and be friendly rather than try and dictate some sort of garden rota, then once you have established a bit of a rapport you could then say, hey Jack/Jill look I understand you are all young adults enjoying summer, but would you mind keeping the dating story details until after our kids have come in, I would just rather not try and not explain anal to my 6 year old, if you don’t mind please.

And I think that is about as good as you can expect.

Nothing will change being a moody uptight entitled cow, but tiny nudges might be possible if you are an easy going happy to help live and let live young mum of two.

According to my local Facebook pages there have been several couples heard having fun in the sun in their gardens so you are getting off lightly really.

It’s annoying and I wouldn’t like it but they are doing nothing wrong. I would move if it affects you so much.

The heat really is getting to people.

I'm sure your kids are intensely irritating to them. Before we had DC every nice day was ruined by the kids next door playing outside and squealing. Now I've got my own children, every nice day is still ruined by playing outside and squealing, except now I'm responsible for them.

To be fair I had to move out of my lovely home on the south downs because my neighbours were insufferable. They had 6 children who shrieked and screamed from morning to night. Constant stinking barbeques, people coming and going night and day. Not one single one of us could enjoy the sunshine or hear a bird sing. It was miserable.
In the end I decided on a life change and moved to Somerset. Its peace and quiet 24/7 here even though the house and garden are smaller. I dont know how I stuck it there for so long.
Some people are utter selfish bastards.

Yes. Get them water pistols( some might go over the fence… oh dear) and if you have one already a trampoline next to the fence so their heads appear frequently. Lastly have all their friends round after school. He will have to work inside due to the noise.

I can’t believe that 3% of people have voted that you’re not being unreasonable! I don’t think I’ve ever read a more entitled and totally ridiculous post than this, even by Mumsnet standards. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have this- screaming kids 2 doors down. They seem incapable of just playing . I had two myself but never allowed them to scream like that the whole time.