To think this is actually selfish behaviour and not thoughtful?

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There is a group of us who’ve known each other since university. We are scattered all over now but try and meet up around twice a year, usually hiring a villa/cottage somewhere and having a few days to chill and catch up.

One friend has taken to making a music play list for us. This is lauded by everyone as being a kind and thoughtful thing to do. I cannot stand it. Cannot stand it. It was maybe fine the first time but it is actually now putting me off going on any further holidays.

The playlist is extensive but obvious centred around my friend’s tastes, which are not mine. It is fine as background music but we inevitably end up spending the last couple of hours of every evening with the music turned up and two of my friends signing along so loudly that the rest of us are unable to have a conversation.

I have raised this both with my friend and with my other friends. I have been told very firmly that my friend has done a kind and generous thing making this playlist, and we should all be grateful. I appear to be the sole person amongst the 10 of us who has any objection to this.

AIBU or is this actually selfish and not generous behaviour? We have began to discuss booking our next holiday once the kids are back to school after the summer but it is putting me off going.

My friend is a kind and generous woman in many ways and our children are very close to each other, so I don’t want to create bad feeling, but this is really spoiling the holiday for me.

We are all in our 50s and have done these holidays for many, many years but it’s only in the past two years or so that the famous playlist has been introduced.

Make your own then?

Ask to make a shared playlist?

There would be absolutely no point. It wouldn’t be played. The playlist cannot be altered. No one else’s music can be played. It caters for us all, apparently.

She loves George Michael. I didn’t mind him. I can’t stand his songs now.

I think you don’t like her much and you’re fixating on the playlist instead. Just get over yourself and try to have a nice time. Or don’t and stay home.

Can’t you message her with some songs you like and ask her to add them into the playlist then at least you know there will be something you like in there

Is there a way of you all contributing to the playlist? On something like Spotify?

I feel that there is more about this person you actually dislike?

Put up with the playlist as the price you pay for lovely times with your old friends.

I give you a pass for the 2 hour singalong every evening. Just stand up and say "well I'm off to bed" and go to bed/read in your room. You won't miss anything.

It would annoy me too tbh but not enough to spoil an otherwise lovely weekend.

Bit of an arse ache but I couldn’t get as bothered about it as you clearly are.

Just make your own, you might be surprised as they might be more open to it than you think.

Bow out. It sounds shit.

Your friends are strange about this; you can appreciate the playlist without having to have it on ALL the time, or loud enough to prevent conversation. Chiding you about Playlist Friend's selflessness and generosity is also OTT. It's giving me "Be Kind (Shut Up!)" vibes, especially as you didn't say the playlist was shite or ask to have it banned. It makes me think they may think Playlist Friend is particularly fragile and needs to be babied (not very respectful of them). Everyone should be able to take turns with their own playlists OR Playlist Friend should coordinate a group one with everyone's suggestions.

The part about two hours a night just listening to loud music and people howling along would be too much for me even if I liked the music; I'd have to leave the room.

You gotta have faith that she'll choose something you like this year.

Why couldn’t you put your music on? Why is this person in charge of music, surely you could easily just plug your phone in or whatever?

If everyone else likes it, and you’ve raised it multiple times already, your options are to pull out of the holidays or tolerate it.

I’d go, have fun while the music is background noise, then when the volume goes up and the warbling starts, I’d go to bed.

I’ve done this. I’m ND and have noise sensitivity issues. My friends are used to it - I’m not asking them to change anything, just to accept I’ll probably retreat earlier than everyone else.

Ask for a room on the top floor / away from the communal space, and take earplugs.

You do seem over-bothered about something which is mildly irritating but ultimately harmless.

You’ve outgrown the uni group (most of this do this after a few years, so well done for lasting this long).

Yabu
Create your own playlist. If “it’s not allowed to be played” point out how ridiculous that is.
Go and sit in a quieter spot for a bit with anyone you’d like a proper chat with.
But also….
If other members of the gang are enjoying themselves…..best bet is to let their enjoy their fun. Don’t ruin a long friendship over this (assuming you appreciate them in other ways).
As I do when out with my school friends. Their tastes are very different to mine but I love being with them so I chose to ignore/be tolerant of their preferred choices as their preference is the majority opinion. It’s not their fault I’m the only one of eight that prefers other options.

Can’t you just Go Outside when the music is on? I Knew You Were Waiting for a reason to complain. Jesus, you are turning inTo a Child. But if you need your Freedom from this irritation , that’s fair enough, but Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on an argument with your friends.

This would drive me nuts as well, OP. I'm surprised by all these silly 'suck it up' responses. That said, I can see you're in a tough spot. I find it hard to believe that you are really the only one of the ten who doesn't love the playlists. Most of the others are probably just going along to get along.

I give you a pass for the 2 hour singalong every evening. Just stand up and say "well I'm off to bed" and go to bed/read in your room.

But op is going on the weekend - and presumably spending money - to spend time with her friends, not to sit in her room on her own.

It's very inconsiderate for two people to take over the evening so that no-one else can have a conversation.

OP, what would happen if you suggested going to the pub to one or two of the non singers? Surely they can't all be happy to sit there for two hours listening to two people practising their karaoke skills?

This ^

The OP is not BU in not wanting to put up with her old university friend's taste in music.

The OP is being unreasonable in meeting up twice a year with contemporaraies from university 30 years ago and expecting to still enjoy it

You sound like you are so jealous that everyone else enjoys the playlist tradition that you have turned this into a far larger issue than it needs to be and are attributing nasty qualities to your supposed friend where none exist.

Really, you now can’t stand George Michael just because you hear his music played every six months or so? Grow up.

I need to know if it is just his solo work or also Wham!

God , no.
A playlist for 10 people compiled to reflect only one person's taste is just so entitled.
I'm totally with you op, I love opera but would never inflict it on my friends.

I did this on a weekend away - asked everyone to provide their top 10 songs. Worked a treat.
Take headphones and listen to your own!