AIBU to think neighbours should not be naked in their garden?

[babypickles]

For context: Our house is on a new build estate and the houses are pretty close together. It’s fairly easy to see into neighbours gardens because the trees etc are not well established yet.

AIBU to say my neighbours shouldn’t be naked in their garden. They are often out in the garden totally naked taking photos of themselves. They have parties quite often and it’s not uncommon for them and friends to be out in the garden naked / using the hot tub etc.

Am I being a killjoy ? Seems excessive to me.

Well, since someone has concocted a strawman argument in which apparently we're advocating for the forced nudity of children it doesn't really seem worth addressing a hypothetical scenario within a fictitious world.

That said, while supporting the obvious need to protect children in all situations, I do find that an emotive appeal to "will nobody think of the children?" is the MN equivalent of Godwins Law.

While the nudity doesn’t bother me, an outdoor party still on at 3.30am would put me in a right mardy mood. You can wave your willy or your tits around, but don’t fuck with my or my child’s sleep 😂

Edited a typo

Why do you care? Its not like they made you attend the party. Live and let live.

I’m sticking around to hear how this went too.

Nice sidestep. Why are you trying so hard to dodge the issue of potential harm to/coercion of children?

I don't need you to 'contradict my findings' - we're not in a court of law! But feel free if you like.

As I explained, I Googled to look at where you could swim naked in public facilities in London, as you had posted about naked swims at your local leisure centre and I hadn't seen anything similar advertised in my local area. Google showed up precisely 4, none of which are near me.

Your post made it sound as if leisure centres themselves put these naked swimming events on as part of their general offering and that this is a mainstream thing, but it seems from further searching that what really happens is naturist clubs hire the facilities for private naturist events.

Good for them.

The only cringe here is you spying on your neighbours out the top window. Do you have nothing better to do or talk about?

I hear you that it's normal for you. It's not normal for at least 90% of the population, though.

Cambridge dictionary definition of 'norm': an accepted standard or a way of behaving or doing things that most people agreewith:

As I said before, it is not a cultural norm in the UK to mix with strangers in the nude. The stats you quote back that up, even if taken on face value. Yet having looked into them some more, the 6.75 million quoted relies on a very broad definition which is much wider than just people who frequent nudist events. It includes anyone who's ever sunbathed naked once, or has gone skinny dipping once. Whereas if you look at the membership number for British Naturism it's around 10,000 only.

You seem to be getting annoyed that I'm pointing out that what you like to do isn't the norm. But it isn't the norm.

Around 8% of people commute to and from work by bus. Would you describe them as “not normal” or as a “fringe sub-culture”? And if not, why not?

This is just silly, and not analogous. While lots of people will travel to work by other means, it isn't seen as unusual to travel by bus, and it doesn't transgress a taboo.

Where I live is on any “normal” road in any “normal” town, and yes, there are people that sunbathe naked in their gardens during this heatwave.

Come on, you're talking about yourself here, aren't you!

Yes, I think the dangers with leading children to believe it's normal to be naked with strangers should be obvious.

Bless.

It sounds incredibly naff!

Naturally because this is mumsnet everyone has rushed to tell you how unreasonable you are when actually in real life most people would be "WTF?!" if their neighbours did this. You - and your kids - should be able to look out of the windows of your own home without seeing a cock and bollocks swinging about nextdoor. But since this is mumsnet you should follow these rules: 1 - don't look out out of the windows of your own home because that makes you nosey/a pervert/abnormal and must mean you are deliberately spying on your neighbours (even though you can't avoid seeing them when you look out of the window) 2 - don't give a shit about your kids seeing nextdoor's genitalia because the human body is natural and flashing the neighbours children is totally normal and reasonable 3 - become a naturist/exhibitionist yourself, because that wouldn't be a weird or disproportionate response at all 4 - board up all your windows and live in the dark to give your naked neighbours some privacy - it must be really distressing for them knowing that all their neighbours can see them naked (in their neighbourhood of tightly packed houses with overlooked gardens) - of course they aren't doing this on purpose because they are exhibitionists! I swear, I don't know what's up with mumsnet this evening but this is not the first thread where everyone has been ganging up on the OP for having normal response to something that's actually quite shocking. You're all off your fucking tits tonight.

Doesn’t even make sense to bless me in.

You are hilariously tragic and clearly have a very dull life if this is hot topic.

Why would I be getting annoyed? I’m simply calling you out on your mistaken comments.

Bless

I’m not sure, only you can know that, I’m just observing the tone of your comments. As well as commenting on the simple maths of how niche an interest naturism is, and how unusual it is in the UK for people to be outside naked in overlooked suburban back gardens.

Heres a dilemma.

The choice:
A) live overlooking naked neighbours passing balloons to each other using their genitalia
B) live overlooking the majority of Mumsnet posters whom insist that above is perfectly normal

tbh the people on here are just nasty. I’ve been called boring, uptight, prudish, a peeping tom, a saddo, told to “get a life” etc etc.

I’ve decided that I shall indeed let them get on with it unless the parties go on until 330 am on a frequent basis. The noise is actually more bothersome. Although I’m sure someone will be here shortly to tell me I’m being unreasonable about that too and if I don’t like the noise I should simply pour red hot tarmac into my ears and stop being such a bore.

PS I’m opting for A.

I think we’ve firmly established that it isn’t at all unusual, nor does naturism “transgress a taboo” in any way, shape or form, despite that not happening to fit your narrative.

Full 'swing' 😂

I would imagine they care because the family is being kept awake by the noise!!

Oi Roger, put your cock away!

I can't believe the amount of people saying stop looking - and I've only read the first page! Are you not allowed to look out of your windows upstairs - ridiculous if you are part of a terrace. I'm all for saying you do what you want in your own garden but you have to take care, especially if there are children around.

No matter what anyone declares, adult genitals have a sexual dimension.

Showing them to others is not a neutral act because although the genital displayer may declare their intentions benign, the people (including children who cannot consent) seeing the genitals are likely to have a reaction.

Posters stating: “Control your reaction” and “Avert your gaze” are placing the onus on the unwilling participant to take action. Similar to women in changing rooms with men etc.

As the neighbours in this case are clearly also leaning into the sexual dimension of their nudity the body-neutral defence is even less compelling.

There is a power dynamic here which is disconcerting. OP is being forced to accept the neighbours’ behaviour and mocked by posters for not complying.

Is that because she is a woman, a mother, or would this dynamic happen to anyone? Would an imam or an MP also be told to look away and stop complaining?

Completely agree with you. I'm one of the most relaxed people I know but I wouldn't want to look out of my windows and see others bodies just like I wouldn't want to be doing my shopping at tescos and see them!

😂 Well we've established that you think that.

We've also established that 90% (at least) of the population don't live the lifestyle you do.

You continuing to state your opinion in the face of strong evidence to the contrary isn't 'establishing' any sort of consensus. It flies firmly in the face of how we usually agree consensus and reality on planet Earth. But you do you. We're all entitled to our opinion, for what it's worth.