AIBU to think neighbours should not be naked in their garden?

[babypickles]

For context: Our house is on a new build estate and the houses are pretty close together. It’s fairly easy to see into neighbours gardens because the trees etc are not well established yet.

AIBU to say my neighbours shouldn’t be naked in their garden. They are often out in the garden totally naked taking photos of themselves. They have parties quite often and it’s not uncommon for them and friends to be out in the garden naked / using the hot tub etc.

Am I being a killjoy ? Seems excessive to me.

I don't get it, either. After all, we've all got them (well, women do, men have different bits but they all have the same, too).

No they shouldn’t be. If the garden had established trees which had a small break in them that you happened to be peering through, then yes you would be being unreasonable. But to do this in a new build estate where they know they are exposed and children will likely see them is being an exhibitionist in my opinion and it’s completely inappropriate and a bit sick in the head. My sister lives in a new build in the middle of a dead end with roads coming off them. If you go into her back bedrooms you can literally see into 10 + people’s gardens. You don’t need to be sitting at the windows with binoculars to see what people are up to and it’s not fair to say she should never look out her window. I would report them personally. Like everything, there is a time and a place. They have the right to enjoy their property, but so do you and it’s likely that all your other neighbours have also seen to much as well. I would be more concerned that children are seeing these people doing this. There is no need to do it in the garden. Have you spoken to them and told them that your son has seen them? They might be so caught up with themselves they haven’t considered that children can see. I would be shouting out the window personally everytime they do it.

Sorry but I disagree with this. I have young children and they have seen me naked, but I wouldn’t continue to expose myself to them when they get to a certain age. I find it highly inappropriate that adults think it’s okay to expose themselves to children and it’s in no way ‘healthy’ as you describe it. Yes it’s a body, but you don’t need to see your granny’s neighbour in the nude to learn about the human body. People who do this around other peoples children generally get locked up and if they aren’t locked up, they should be!

They are not "exposing themselves to children". The OPs 11 year old son can see them when he goes upstairs and looks out of his window at their garden.
Just leave them alone and stop tdying to control them . They srent telling you what to do/ not do.!

But I could stroll around a market, or window shop down my high street?

I think we all know the answer is no.

Technically yes you can wonder down your high street naked yes. Naturism is a genuine thing and there are no laws against it unless you’re deliberately setting out to cause concern or are acting within a sexual manner. A stroll down the street naked although not a normal sight is perfectly legal.

Much like men being topless when people don’t want women topless perfectly legal for both.

It Isn’t even remotely normal to do that when you have other houses overlooking your garden. Like I’m all for live and let live but if there’s multiple naked people in a hot tub next door who are chilling having a gangbang then yeah it’s pretty inappropriate if your own child can see from their window.

Weirdos.

In theory yes, but of course context is everything.

Nah- I don’t think so. If I set off down my high street tomorrow with no clothes on, someone would call the police and I’d be asked to go home. It may not be illegal, but it wouldn’t be tolerated.

You could possibly be asked to leave kindly but they would have no legal reason to force you to leave unless you were acting in a sexual way or where setting out to disturb people. If you where just walking to your friends house no problems

Probably better for an 11 yo boy to see normal naked bodies than what they can see on the internet.

The ‘cool mumsnetters’ are out in force…none of them would actually feel that this is ‘oh so fine’ behaviour, if they opened their blinds in the morning to be faced with their neighbours bare arsehole as he was pruning his roses!

Honestly…the faux ‘coolness’ is just nauseating.

And as for Derek…cover your cock you weirdo!

If it upsets you then it is illegal according to https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/26223285.can-sunbathe-naked-garden-uk-law-explained/

@CloudyWithAChanceOfCustard

100 percent. What do they get out of it? Absolutely, time to put the cock away thank you very much.

The neighbour is not doing anything wrong as nudity is not a crime.
It only becomes a crime if the nudity is done to deliberately cause distress and alarm.
In terrace property not be able to do it but in semi detached and detached the principle applies.
So unless you think the neighbours are doing it deliberately to upset you in law you will have to put up with it.
omit you video your neighbours that is an offence.
I am not a naturist and quite prudish but I believe freedoms must be protected.
It could be as someone suggested just have a chat and say that your son can see them and is there anyway they could put a screen round.
I just think with the rise of authoritarian politicians our rights must be preserved.
It is interesting how some people jumped straight into attacking the rights of the naturist s when nothing illegal has happened.
I find it shocking that an Englishman’s home is so easily attacked .

I've seen a lot of your posts on this thread and just thought you were wrong and a bit unbending/narrow-minded.

But now I realise you're just labouring under some misapprehensions.

Since you've totally misunderstood the "no such thing as society" phrase. I do wonder whether you've actually ever read the full text.

It is not a call to selfish individualism. It's actually saying there is not a separate, physical thing that is 'society' that we can rely on - when people call on society to solve their problems - there is only you and me.
That nothing gets done by this notional society entity - it only gets done by individuals. That we should look after ourselves and not expect "society" to look after us.

in other words, when we demand something from society, we're actually making demands on other people - and we should be aware of that.

Moreover that speech says that once we've made ourselves into competent, capable, and self-sufficient people thrn we should (per her speech) help our neighbours.

You may be right that more and more people seem to ignore the last part - but it seems to me that there is a significant difference between quietly getting on with life (albeit naked) where people can ignore you if they want, and being shouty in your garden where people cannot ignore you.

I think your responses come from a place where you have decided that your levels of "standards and decency" should be the norm and seeing people who disagree as being mocking. That's a rather individualistic position to take, rather than the more societal "live and let live" attitude.

You are being judgemental - by definition - having established a set of laws/rules in your head, and then judging others by those rules. Sorry :(

Are they breaking any law? Dont look or join in!!

Particularly the male variety, which nakedness renders clearly visible in all it's ridiculousness, if the intent to display is not sexual, and threatening, if the intent to display is sexual.

This, to me, is about as sexist as it is possible to get. It is belittling and insulting to half the people on the planet who have zero control over their body.

If you were a man, complaining that you don't want to see a fat women in a bikini because they look ridiculous or unattractive the world would be up in arms.

I think the world would be a much more healthy place if everyone saw real naked bodies on a daily basis. Then perhaps people, girls particularly, might stop obsessing about how they look and realise that it's what we do and how we think that matters far more.

This is the most sensible answer so far 👏👏

I want to know what happened at the party 🥳

We all piss and shit too, but presumably you wouldn't do that in front of your neighbours.

You have to think about whether it's appropriate, on new build estates houses tend to be crammed in witn countless houses looking over every garden, if you had a little girl for example, would you think it appropriate to be looking at naked men everytime she looks out of her bedroom window?

But would you want a little girl looking out of her bedroom window and seeing naked men! Naturist places exist for a reason so that nobody is flashing a child for one!

The ‘naturist places’ that you allude to are also family places. There is no reason to shield children from simple nudity. Much better they grow up with the understanding of what real human bodies look like in all their shapes, sizes and colours, rather than having to form their impressions from unrealistic and airbrushed imagery in magazines and videos etc.

Objectively, and I mean objectively, just what is wrong with a girl seeing a naked man, or a boy seeing a naked woman.

It's not a sexual thing. Its pretty damn natural.

Why is it OK for little girls to see male dogs as they walk around. Hell, they even see them copulating ! Would you advocate nappies for them all?

Seriously. If you hide and protect your children from perfectly normal natural things, they will grow up scared and ashamed because you've inculcated an irrational fear of them, and an expectation that only the carefully curated beauty of images on the Internet are acceptable.