AIBU for refusing to reschedule my interview again for my mum?

[TooLateToChange]

I have a second interview next month for a job I am really interested in. It was originally for the week before but I had to reschedule it as my child (young adult) had a medical appointment that she wanted me to attend with her.

My mum now has a hospital appointment on the same day as the rescheduled interview that she’s asked me to take her to. I’ve said I won’t be able to take her to it as I don’t want to reschedule the interview again. She is saying that if I can reschedule it for my child, I should be willing to do it for her. I don’t think that’s the same and also this would mean rescheduling for a second time which doesn’t look good. The hospital appointment isn’t for anything overly serious but she is worried about it. I’ve asked her to ask my brother or a friend to go with her. It’s nothing personal so they would be just as much help as I could be.

AIBU to not reschedule the interview again?

This post is the esemplification of the squeezed in the middle women or sandwich generation. Women try to get improve your career after the childcare/maternity penalty but now we end up having to car for kids and elderly parents while our husbands and brothers are never asked.
I would send your mum some articles about that and tell her to ask your brother
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/11/how-to-cope-when-both-your-kids-and-your-parents-need-help

She's being selfish and petulant.

On other note if I was the employer and you asked for a 2nd reschedule, I'd probably not bother and would think work is not a priority and you were unreliable.

DP's a Senior Exams officer and was offered an interview for Director of Exams at a school on the day of GCSE Maths, so an important one that they would have known about (I knew that school used exactly the same board as I deal with sixth formers who attended there and see the results data).

He asked in good time - as the exam timetables are known well in advance - to reschedule until the following day where there were no core exams on that basis.

They withdrew the offer because they wanted an experienced, currently employed in Exams with direct experience of the board they used who was available right in the middle of one of the core subjects. I suspect that what they were actually hoping for was somebody who could do a session running the exam.

Absolutely keep this interview appointment, you've already been given far more flexibility than others get - don't push your luck to appease somebody jealous of both your child and your opportunity.

If you reschedule again you aren't going to get the job.

TBH it probably doesn’t matter as the employer likely made up their mind the first time you rescheduled.

Its not like she arranged it then canceled my understanding is the first date clashed with the hospital visit so employer rescheduled it, thats not being flaky but if it happens twice it creates an image of someone with too many commitments out of work and will be distracted/ not willing to enslave herself to her employer. Which many employers expect these days.

After the first reschedule you would be on dodgy ground. A 2nd reschedule no chance

I’m surprised the role hasn’t been filled already. Your mum is being out of order

If you ask to reschedule again, I think you can kiss the job goodbye.
That said, I’d sacrifice any job to have the chance to take my mum to another appointment. Not a healthy viewpoint, maybe, but the truth.

OP didn't say Drs appointment.

Medical appointment could include getting biopsy results, or something to do with a pregnancy that wasn't progressing as well or a mental health appointment. My adult son is having sedation on Tuesday and whilst he is perfectly capable of getting there and back on his own, he HAS to have another adult accompany him, otherwise they won't do the procedure.

I am sure OP weighed up the importance of the appointment against the importance of the interview.

I can tell you that ANY rescheduled interview looks bad. Any. Let alone twice