AIBU for refusing to reschedule my interview again for my mum?

[TooLateToChange]

I have a second interview next month for a job I am really interested in. It was originally for the week before but I had to reschedule it as my child (young adult) had a medical appointment that she wanted me to attend with her.

My mum now has a hospital appointment on the same day as the rescheduled interview that she’s asked me to take her to. I’ve said I won’t be able to take her to it as I don’t want to reschedule the interview again. She is saying that if I can reschedule it for my child, I should be willing to do it for her. I don’t think that’s the same and also this would mean rescheduling for a second time which doesn’t look good. The hospital appointment isn’t for anything overly serious but she is worried about it. I’ve asked her to ask my brother or a friend to go with her. It’s nothing personal so they would be just as much help as I could be.

AIBU to not reschedule the interview again?

Your mum is being very unreasonable as she can go with someone else. Changing an interview twice would look bad and could very likely cost you the job. If I was interviewing and someone changed twice I would think they would be difficult as an employee with flexibility. Also makes you look like you are not that interested. If mum can't get someone else the ask her to reschedule. Good luck with the interview.

If you reschedule a second time, you absolutely will not get the job.
If it's so important to your mum that you take her she will have to reschedule her appointment.
Daughter is ALWAYS above parents.

I agree! I have a hard time imagining any employer would want someone who seems so unreliable when they haven't even got the job yet. If you reschedule twice, you can kiss this job goodbye.

Ffs some mothers are so selfish. Mine (elderly) almost cried when my family and I suggested we organise her a private taxi account (after 7 years of caring for Ddad and her eyesight then started ailing and she could no longer drive). Could be independent when she wanted to be, and we have an abundance of excellent public transport where we live. Don't feel guilty OP-she's being extremely entitled and dismissive of what is important to you. Had it been an appointment for a cancer treatment similar I would have maybe knicked the interview on the head. Anything less, no-your brother can pick up. Good luck with the interview 🍀

Spot on. My DM has said me and DH should give up our jobs and move DC from schools to be closer to her so she doesn't have to move because she wants more help.

Absolutely don't reschedule....bringing all your family / life baggage to the job before you've even interviewed is not a good look.

Agree with others that I wouldn’t have rescheduled for first appt unless there was more to it than your adult child wanting you there. I suppose it depends how you explained the need to be there for the first appt but I’d imagine that would already be going against you.

If you reschedule again you might as well not bother you won’t get the job as you look problematic.

If I had an applicant who rescheduled twice I would assume they weren't really interested in the role and remove them from the list.

Put yourself first, op. At least this time. It's utterly unreasonable to ask you to reschedule again. You probably wouldn't get the job as you'd appear really flaky. Mum will manage.

This.

She is saying that if I can reschedule it for my child, I should be willing to do it for her. @TooLateToChange

1. She's not the same level of commitment and sacrifice as an offspring

And 2. Precisely because you have already rescheduled this appointment is why you can't reschedule it again.

Actually 3. For this comment alone now I wouldn't put myself out for her because it's so manipulative!

Frankly you shouldn’t have rescheduled the first time. Definitely don’t do it a second time, you’ll come across as unreliable.

Your mum sounds needy to the point of being childish.

Definitely don't back down!

You may as well cancel the interview as reschedule it twice.

She is saying that if I can reschedule it for my child, I should be willing to do it for her.

She's not your child. Think about how nuts this is, it shows a complete lack of respect for you and your time, and how you choose to spend it. It tells you that she feels she's entitled to care from you on a par with that you would give a child. Why is this?

I would tell her that you're not available for her that day, and wish her well with the appointment, and get comfortable with drawing some firm boundaries going forward about what you will and will not be doing.

I think you were lucky they agreed to reschedule the first time. A second time no chance.

Agreed absolutely do not reschedule a 2nd time. I work in recruitment and in some instances (depending on how many other people are in the mix) they might have just decided to go ahead with just the one(s) they already had set up. They obviously like you but agreed.. 2 is really not a good look and will raise question marks as you fear. If it’s one you are really interested in then 100% go.

Surely your mum can see the importance of this? As long as you are finding someone else to take your place then you have done all that’s required. She’ll get over it!

YANBU, OP. I take my mum to most of her hospital appointments but when it comes to work and job interviews, I prioritise those.

Similarly to you, my mother doesn't expect my brother to take her even though I work 9-5 and his hours are more flexible.

Why does your mum see this as your job? What are his excuses not going by taxi, with her son or someone else?

Please prioritise your job interview.

Has your mum never had to compete for jobs? If so, she'd know that this isn't possible for you.

Some people who've lived privileged and sheltered lives have no idea about the gruelling process of getting a job.

Wow. Your mum. Unreal levels of self absorption. It is definitely NOT the same as for your daughter, since you are the adult responsible for your daughter's care...which was your mum's role once upon a time for you, not the other way around.

Under no circumstances reschedule and tell your mum to jog on if she's unhappy about it.

its a weird thing to do full stop,

Yeah she's being emotionally manipulative and unreasonable.

You have to attend the interview after rescheduling once, as others have said.

Rescheduling your interview twice woukd make you look very flakey I think . Definitely don’t reschedule. Why didn’t she reschedule around you ?

To be honest with you I would not have rescheduled for the young adult's appointment. You already have a black mark against you.

Please have respect for the interviewers and the person arranging the interviews time and attend the interview.

Your mum is an adult and it's strange that you're even questioning this. Tbh, I wouldn't have changed the first interview one as the job market is terrible. If you do it again, you will not get the job, be surprised if they even offer you another interview date.