AIBU for refusing to reschedule my interview again for my mum?

[TooLateToChange]

I have a second interview next month for a job I am really interested in. It was originally for the week before but I had to reschedule it as my child (young adult) had a medical appointment that she wanted me to attend with her.

My mum now has a hospital appointment on the same day as the rescheduled interview that she’s asked me to take her to. I’ve said I won’t be able to take her to it as I don’t want to reschedule the interview again. She is saying that if I can reschedule it for my child, I should be willing to do it for her. I don’t think that’s the same and also this would mean rescheduling for a second time which doesn’t look good. The hospital appointment isn’t for anything overly serious but she is worried about it. I’ve asked her to ask my brother or a friend to go with her. It’s nothing personal so they would be just as much help as I could be.

AIBU to not reschedule the interview again?

Your mother is being a tit.

You absolutely cannot reschedule. I would not offer the job to an individual that rescheduled both interviews. It suggests you’re unreliable.

Of course don’t reschedule. Can you have a word with your brother and ask him to actively offer?

Op, I'm sorry I clicked the wrong option, must be the heat, you're definitely not being unreasonable.
Please don't reschedule and lose this opportunity.

I wouldn't have rescheduled the first time. The job market is tough and you would like this job.

Your mum is an adult, the appointment isn't for something life critical, she has other options to get there.

Go to the job interview for goodness sake. Your mum should be wishing you good luck not destroying your chances of getting the job.

I wouldn't have rescheduled at all.

But, given that you did, I actually agree with your mum that if you are prepared to reschedule for your adult child, then it's reasonable to think that you might reschedule for her.

The issue here is not that you won't reschedule but that you have already rescheduled once. You need to focus on that.

Contact your brother and ask him to speak to her - explain about the interview and leave the pair of them to make their own arrangements.

I need to reschedule because my daughter wants me too...
Now I need to reschedule because my mum wants me too...

Employers are going to draw conclusions from that that may mean they dont want to employ you.

You will not get the job if you reschedule again.

Your mum is being a twat.

If your brother can’t do it then she’ll have to get a taxi or rearrange her appointment.

My mum / grandma would never dream of asking one of my four brothers to take them to hospital appointments ect. Oh no no no, they're far too busy and important for that. Always had to be me. My mum was one of those insufferable women who never learnt to drive yet always needed taking somewhere in a car.
Your mum shouldn't be asking this of you when she knows you've rescheduled once before.

Yes. Emotional Blackmail. Been there. Done that.

And very selfish to try to get you to put your job opportunity at risk, which it would..

For similar pressing reasons (with four siblings who were always getting DM to do chores for them and DM's own siblings nearby)
I had to refuse a command and offered to pay for her taxi there and back to stop the blackmail.
She refused of course and took great enjoyment in telling anyone who would listen how "heartless" I was, (without mentioning the taxi offer of course)

It sounds as if you would help her with urgent things,
but when she's being ridiculous as she is in this case, you have to say no so she gets used to the idea that you are not her only and always option, and her other options get used to being called on too
or the game will just continue.

And as pps have said. Child trumps parent. Sounds like she's jealous of the care and attention you give your DD. Says a lot about your DM's character that does.

Also. Why doesn't she just reschedule her own appointment? Every time I get an appointment, even for something important, there's always a phone number to ring to reschedule.

I just couldn’t be bothered with the drama this would cause. A breezy “sorry couldn’t change it mum” is all it takes.

Even if they agree to reschedule it they'll be thinking bloody hell if she can't attend a interview on the alloted day , twice, what will she be like if she works here? You'll blow your chances for sure.

Strongly disagree.
It's worth establishing boundaries sooner rather than later. OP's mum is being ridiculous and selfish, and this is not going to improve if OP indulges it.

I used to interview people a lot. Someone who rescheduled twice would come across as potentially unreliable. They would have to be perfection incarnate to get the job.

I wouldn't hire someone who reschedule twice - other than extreme circumances with proof thst something was beyond their control - dead of close relative, serious injury etc.

Absolutely do not, unless you want to be binned off.

How selfish of your mother.
Has she form?

agree with this unless it was life or death.
And neither would I have asked my mum to, unless literally it was for something requiring surgery, cancer or similar.

Anybody can have a conflict with the first date that is given to them, so rescheduling once is fine, but to reschedule twice makes you look totally unreliable and really tells them where you would place work in terms of your priorities.

No way would I have rescheduled once, let alone twice! What will happen if you get the job, will you still be wanting time off to ferry people about?!

Exactly, not a good indication that you want the job.

Does she not want you to take this job? I can’t imagine my parents trying to sabotage a job interview like this.

Tell her to reschedule her appointment, ask someone else or arrange a taxi.

OP, dont reschedule, cos it may as well mean you dont want the job in the first place

I understand accompanying a son or a daughter to an appointment regardless of what age they are - sometimes the doctors might ask a question that the parent knows the answer better than the kid.
But your mum is a bit different, and you don't want to lose this job opportunity. She can always take notes in the appointment or ask the doctor to write things down for her if she thinks she'll forget any details.