AIBU to be annoyed by SIL posting about every work shift?

[Mamasamba]

This is driving me crazy! I have name changed for this! Someone gave me perspective before I blow up (lighthearted).
So me and my DP work full-time Monday to Friday (39hour week for both of us-sometimes overtime involved also) my SIL works 2 shifts a week! Not always the same days. Now here is my AIBU. Every time she is due to go into work she texts into the family WhatsApp. “Work tomorrow…have a nice day in the sun!” Or I have work tomorrow…I’m so tired. She’ll send pictures of herself with her uniform on and a sad face with a caption…”do I have to go??” MIL feeds it with “oh poor you” “or you are great” or I’ll make dinner collect it on your way home etc etc. Meanwhile, myself and DP
are sitting here so confused thinking…WE GO IN EVERY DAY!! AIBU to post me going to work every day?!

This type of nonsense is very wearing. I used to work with a genuinely lovely lady but she worked two set days and I did five, after her 2nd shift she would always say "have a lovely weekend" I know she said it because she wouldn't see me before Friday but god did it grind my gears. She also used to say she didn't know how I did it, I also had part time jobs on top of the full time one and kids. I just used to reply that I didn't have a choice. If only.

YANBU @Mamasamba Is she one of those insufferable individuals who used to post 'I AM A KEY WORKER, I HAVE TO WORK THROUGH THE PANDEMIC' posts during Covid? (2020 and 2021.) I got so bored with these people. Not just NHS, and other 'emergency services' but some retail too/supermarkets/eateries etc, and even some teachers/other school workers...

I had to work too (and did work from home, I work 3 days a week,) and I never littered my timeline with 'I have to work during the pandemic' drivel! It wound me up so much that I ended up unfollowing people. (Not unfriending just unfollowing, so I didn't see their tedious and high and mighty Facebook messages about how how they HAVE to keep working.) You and millions of others pal!

You need to 'unfollow' this woman. (Sorry if this has already been said, I have committed the ultimate MN sin. Not read the full thread.)

My colleague I spoke about above also bleated on about being a key worker, we worked in a shop and she didn't work the first two months of lockdown I forget why. I have to say it was difficult working at that time but not praiseworthy. We worked because we had to.

As a retired nurse, I was feeling very embarrassed,
and assuming a hero complex, until you confirmed she is not in an NHS role OP.
Now I'm dying to know what she does do!

Are you going to tell us what it is she does @Mamasamba ? Or is it 'too outing?' If so, I do wonder why you posted the thread. If the woman is reading Mumsnet, and she sees this thread, she may recognise herself anyway, so you may as well tell us what she does... If she only does 2 days/2 shifts a week, she cant be that vital to society.

She sounds somewhat performative and has most probably been spoilt as a child/adult. But like a pp has already mentioned, just let her.

You don't need to allow this to bother you - scroll on or mute the chat and gert DH to give you updates!

exBIL displays lots of traits of a covert narcissist. But long before we figured that out, I was always slightly bemused by his behaviour on certain things, and the fact that SIL and PIL bought into it. One was this EXACT thing with work. He'd comment on how he needed to cut his hours because it was just too hard.... he was doing 30 hours a week over 3 shifts. and everyone would coo and tell him yes, he should. I remember sitting there once, having just completed a 60 hour work week (me) and a 55 hour work week (DH) and a 40 hour work week + studying (SIL) and thinking, "Surely no one is taking this seriously?"
But yes, yes they were. All of them.

[he hates me now as he believes I poisoned everyone against him.]

It's probably the most interesting thing she does. Does she also ignore what other people say? My mother was a master of this. Whatever you said to her, regardless of whether it was "I've been nominated for the Nobel prize" or "My boyfriend of 5 years has run off with a floozy", she would reply with someone incredibly mundane about her life. The highlight was probably "Oh really, dear? I paid the gas bill today."

It’s meant to be a lighthearted thread? Did you miss that?

I would lean into it - like your all in the same boat... pretend she works full time too.
Sunday night post "eek Sunday night fears.. hate working Monday mornings!"
Monday post "we made it.... feels like it should be Friday already? Right SIL?"

And on and on until "Fri-yay!"

It’s WhatsApp - just mute it

My colleagues and I worked very hard through Covid, albeit from home. Many having to deal in small homes with partners also working and children going up the wall.

It remains galling to read of all the things that people did in Covid, books read, mindfulness, changes of direction, hobbies taken up. If only.

I would find it so hard to resist taking the piss out of her.

I mean it all depends
DH works more hours than me, but his office is air conditioned
I work shifts in a nursing home. It's ridiculously hot and it's close contact manual work. Keeping clinically vulnerable patients well in this weather is really hard.
Plus I've done all school runs, a play date, sports day, a Dr's appointment etc, etc with hot, irritable kids with allergies
It's no competition, but he'd be the first to say, the weather doesn't dent his week. It makes mine a lot trickier

Lucky she can afford to only work twice v you and dh 5 days

You are at work again. Same here

repeat each time

even add and I’m working tomorrow and next day and even worked yesterday (if A Tue or wed)

Why do people fritter their lives away with 'Family Whatsapp', 'Facebook' and so on? I dipped a toe into the latter 20 years ago and was surprised to find usually entertaining friends descending into supplying photographs of their breakfast, 'selfies' in bars with their arm around the pub bore, requesting that I become a 'friend' of their dog at its new 'profile', & so on. Even disliked former school acquaintances attempting to 'add' me in an apparent attempt to bolster their total of 'friends'. I lasted a couple of weeks.

More recently I refused to join a 'Family Whatsapp' group, started by a demanding step-cousin that few care for. Of closer family only my mother joined (emotional blackmail) - she apparently gradually desisted from 'posting' - and I understand the thing ground to a halt in a whirlwind of bitchiness about those that had boycotted the petty charade.

Leave the wretched group, go out into the fresh air, and do something useful and memorable.

What… like write long posts like yours on mumsnet @thefourthbeatle ?

Quite- judging by the OP saying this annoying SIL is older at 33 , have to assume OP is 20's- time to let go of seeking parental approval and ignore those who do.

except it isnt is it

So do I if I am honest, but I wasn't born rich!

This has nothing to do with the weather

I bet what mainly pisses you off that her family sympathise and support her whereas you want her brought down a peg or two?

I take it your husband does not have the kind of relationship with his sister that he can make a joke about this?

100% reply “I had a rare day off, had a lovely day in sun for a change”

There is nothing normal about giving a nearly 30 year old praise and sympathy for working 2 days a week! Everyone knows workings shite but you get on with it, my parents got on with it for 50 years without needing sympathy and praise and brought me up the same. Unless there’s a specific issue at work or she’s unwell this is not normal and weird spoiled behaviour! I’d tell my kids to suck it up

My friend & I have a chat like this 🤣. Although we both work 5 days a week & do also chat about other things.

Neither of us thinks work is “beneath” us at all. It’s just chat.