Hubbys job at risk because of family

[Pickybitsheatwave]

DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

Well he is an all round plonker isn't he?

What?! So he knew the SIL was light fingered and he still gave over the card anyway, with a warning not to use it when she went robbing his employer?

Well then he's incredibly stupid and complicit. He deserves all he gets. Saying he didn't realise she was a 'serial' shoplifter is no defence. It was okay when he thought she was just an occasional shoplifter was it?

So what card do you have when your skanky SIL and BIL are busy ripping off your husband's employer when they do their shopping? You say he never ordered a second card for family, so what card do you have?

This in itself is a sackable offence for Tesco 😬

Everyone has to sign a declaration to say they fully understand the terms and conditions of the discount card and the consequences of breaching said conditions.
Pleading ignorance wont fly Im afraid

She has stolen his salary for the rest of his working life.
She has stolen years of worry free life from you.

No, the OP's DH stole his salary for the rest of his working life (accepting your hyperbole).

He won't be punished because she stole, he will be punished because he broke the terms of his employment by giving his brother his card. That is 100% on him.

Exactly this.

Sorry op i don’t think DH has a leg to stand on. You’re not overreacting but i think you need to put more onus on DH himself.

Sorry to hear this OP. I am an employment lawyer and I had a large supermarket chain as a client - abuse of the staff discount comes up really often unfortunately, and it’s very difficult for an employee to win a claim if the policy was breached (and therefore trust by extension).

He should try and focus on mitigation - if he has a clean disciplinary history and long service, tell them. Offer to repay any money if he can. Give them assurances that no further issues would occur if he kept his job, and that he wouldn’t use the discount again or offer it to family. It wasn’t deliberate/authorised, so it isn’t directly his fault, so there’s hope for him if he cooperates, shows remorse, and gives them assurances about how he’ll prevent any recurrence in future.

This assumes they had a specific family card - if they’d been using your DHs then yes, he likely will be dismissed I’m afraid.

@Sensiblesal This is one of the only times I would advocate the going absolutely fucking mental approach.

🤣 This has absolutely cracked me up!

I think it's irrelevant that the SIL was caught stealing. The issue with DH is as others have said the misuse of the card. It sounds like he could have got one for BIL to use but chose not to. That is on him. As a manager he should know the policies and ensure he is following them, especially if he is ever involved in line management of staff and disciplinaries for them.

If he loses his job it will be because of his misconduct in breaking the terms of his employment. Whether that amounts to gross misconduct, none of us can tell, but your dh is in a management position so I cannot understand why he risked his job like this. I really wouldn’t advise lying and saying his card was stolen as dishonesty will make it worse

I'm assuming the employee card is personal to the holder and that Ts&Cs prohibit use by others.

Employer might charge Gross Misconduct.

I don't see this ending well.

That seems to be the crux of the matter. Your husband has breached the work protocol - never mind his thieving brother’s partner.

What on earth are you playing at?

Then hubby is going to lose his job because he allowed someone to use his card!

OP clarified: You can order one for a family member but he never did so hubby gave him his.

Either DH wasn't aware of the consequences of his actions (which suggests he didn't read the T&Cs he signed) or did he, but didn't think he would get caught.

A lot of your advice is based on the assumption that was was a family card. If it were, would DH still be responsible for BIL's "misuse" (sharing it with his partner) and how would the partners theft factor into it from an employment law perspective? Is DH still ultimately responsible for how his nominated family member uses their card? And can he be disciplined for theft committed by another individual that he didn't collude in?

Wouldn’t this be gross misconduct anyway?

He will have to lie and say she stole the card with out his permission and maybe even call the police in her

if hes not allowed to share card hes been a fool

Lending someone your discount card is effectively stealing.

I think youre right. He'll lose his job. It won't be because your SIL stole.

It will be because your husband tried to defraud his employer.

You might want to edit the title to ‘Hubby’s job at risk because he was stupid’

his own fault, could have got a family card but couldn’t be arsed. 🤷‍♀️

Yip Asda is the same don't bite the hand that feeds you springs to mind.
The dh is an idiot!

We like our 15% ofc you've got to be a numbnut to jeopardise that.

Your hubby isn’t the sharpest tool in the box, clearly. But hopefully he’ll only get a warning. There’s worse things he could have done.

What happened the first time she got caught?

She's not entitled to use the card at all, so even if she hadn't shoplifted the supermarket would still consider the discount she got theft, enabled by your husband. The fact she also shoplifted is just how they traced the discount theft to him.

So yes, big error on your husband's part to give it to anyone else in the first place.

The proper shoplifting (not intending to pay at all) is on her and separate.

Like fuck did you receive an email from them at that time unless it’s the generic one that everybody gets. I don’t understand why you would send it to head office, are you Ken’s wife? 😂

I sorry to inform you but I did this and a family member stole but also was using my card when purchasing something and it flags of the system that it has been used and they found out they was using my card and it is classed as stealing from the company when using an employee card to get money off without it being in their name I got fired for gross misconduct for this and they said they normally would get police involved and would have to pay back all the money off that they got while using my card but they just dropped this and didn’t make me pay it back but since he’s in the management position I don’t know if it’s different