Headteacher criticised my daughter's water bottle

[Suchevilforebodings]

Slightly annoyed at my DD's headteacher. She is 8 and in Y3

I packed her bag yesterday morning and noticed as I filled up her water bottle that it was leaking from the lid. Grabbed another only to see it was split down the side. Annoying but one of those things.
When dropping her off at school, we popped into the local shop next door and grabbed her a large plastic bottle of water with a spout lid.

She came home from school yesterday and said that her headteacher, when visiting the classroom, had picked up her bottle from in front of her and told the whole class that this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.

She's a very sensitive child was really quite upset and being told she's killing turtles, which she loves, and also at what she perceived as being "in trouble" as she loves school, is a good pupil, and hasn't ever been told off.

I get that the head isn't actually wrong, and I wouldn't normally buy bottled water but it was a "needs must" situation.

Was this an appropriate way to bring it up?

Discouraging single use plastic is one thing

Humiliating a small child because they used a plastic bottle when they couldn't find anything else is quite different and clearly unacceptable

Were you able to proceed with your life despite the rubber incident?

For goodness' sake. Whatever a school's policies are on single use plastic, anyone can have an emergency - as this was - and need to use a shop bought bottle of water. Have you really never bought a bottle of water at, say, a railway station because you were extremely thirsty? If this were my child in a heatwave l know what l would have done and any normal teacher, of whom there are several on this thread, would have done the same. Whatever the headteacher's personal beliefs, he was very wrong to single out a child, especially a sensitive, well-behaved child in this way in order to promote his agenda.

It sounds like your daughter understands the difference between a single use bottle and a reusable bottle.

Just tell her that the single use bottle gave the him the opportunity to remind the class about using a reusable bottle instead.

However ‘chatty’ you try to be with the head teacher, you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Sure, it seems small beans to you but to an 8 year old it’s crushing to have your possessions criticised in from of the class by the HT.

A HT should know this, they should not need to be told in a chatty way or otherwise, they should just bloody know this is not an appropriate way to communicate and maybe for their own personal development someone needs to tell them, so they can communicate in a more sensitive manner in future.

Why are people acting like this is so unusual? My 9yr old has never been told off at school and would be upset too.

This.

The virtue signalling head will probably jet off on her holidays soon ignoring her contributions to global damage. What a shitty thing to do to a child in front of the class.

Yes definitely!! The fact I can still remember it so acutely is interesting, I think it did create anxiety about having the ‘wrong stuff’ which made me paranoid and drove my parent mad through the rest of my childhood. Not life damaging though!

A bottle of water that can be bought for 50p is not an important ‘possession’ he didn’t criticise her favourite stuffed toy, he demonstrated a single use plastic that would be thrown away in a few hours.

Exactly. I often fill my water bottle and leave it on the worktop. Also, before I bought a reusable bottle, I just reused a disposable one, so how do schools know that children aren't doing that?

It's about being humiliated in front of your peers. That's powerful when you're 8. I remember being told to stand up in front of the whole school.in assembly for something I'd done the previous day. I hated that teacher because he actually got a kick out of humiliating children.

It's also about a sense of justice. If she'd been talking in class when she should have been listening, or messing about rather than working, she should be reprimanded, but at 8, it's hardly her fault she's got a single use plastic bottle and having one, so she can have water is better than not.

And if we are recycling responsibly, the bottles shouldn't be ending up.in thr oceans

It's about being humiliated in front of your peers. That's powerful when you're 8. I remember being told to stand up in front of the whole school.in assembly for something I'd done the previous day. I hated that teacher because he actually got a kick out of humiliating children.

It's also about a sense of justice. If she'd been talking in class when she should have been listening, or messing about rather than working, she should be reprimanded, but at 8, it's hardly her fault she's got a single use plastic bottle and having one, so she can have water is better than not.

And if we are recycling responsibly, the bottles shouldn't be ending up.in thr oceans

As a teacher she should not have done this with the child’s water bottle. Even though she may not have meant it personally to the child she should have know how a child would feel being pointed out. Perhaps later she could have sent home a message reminding parents not to use plastic bottles were possible. Life happens!

Is it fair game for the head to also humiliate specific children whose parents drive huge gas guzzling SUVs/ jet away on holiday all the time /indulge in excess consumption generally/ leave their engines idling over outside the school gate ...

Or is it just water bottles you object to? It seems a bit performative to me. Those conversations around the environment are important but children should not be singled out and shamed for the behaviour of their parents, the discussion should be in general terms

What a weird take. I don't object to water bottles, I bought one myself yesterday.

SUP bottles are throwaway items, nobody in that class room would have thought that OP's dd had any attachment to it.

I think the point is SUP bottles have a limited shelf life. Kids shouldn't reuse them as they leach microplastics into the water.

The headteacher picked it up from DD's desk, right in front of her. Everyone knew it was hers.

Exactly. It’s not her choice on the water bottles so I would be annoyed if my child was criticised in this way, especially for a one off emergency bottle in a heatwave.

He didn't criticise the child though.

If he had said 'Here is a naughtly child using a plastic bottle' that would be criticising the child.

In a room full of children that age he did though. He picked up Mary/Jack’s bottle and told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

It was an appalling choice from someone who should know children far far better than that

told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

Er, no, he didn't. He said 'this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.'

He made no reference to OP's dd.

You're being deliberately obtuse.

He made no reference to OP's dd.

Except for the fact it was her bottle that she was drinking from.

He did.

but you know that and you’re being obtuse for the sake of it.

Her class mates knew who owned the bottle - they knew it belonged to her, they knew the HT called it out for being very bad and would kill turtles - I don't understand why you can't see that - but I accept that you can't for some reason. People like this HT should not be working with children - they need simple shit spelled out to them when it should be bloody obvious to anyone with an ounce of empathy.

Our sainted NHS uses millions of single use plastic items every day. Are they killing turtles too?