Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

[Bayleaftree63]

On public transport earlier. A very large woman sits nexts to me. She couldn’t get the seat belt
round her. Her body spilt over into my seat, leaving me squashed with what little space there was left.

On the journey I couldn’t help be annoyed at the lack of space I was left with and questioning how do people let themselves get to that size. Talking morbidly obese, not just larger - whatever the medical
term.

This isn’t about shaming, more I’m in disbelief people being that big are happy? Why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.

I dunno - people do complain about addicts of all flavours quite a lot

Having lost 4.5 stone on barely any carbohydrates with zero exercise, and my 22st husband is now down to 16 stone on the same regime, I beg to differ.

Hmm. Most of the people I know who could never lose weight 'despite eating like a mouse and exercising intensely 5x a week' somehow seem to be losing weight on the jabs.

The psychology might be complex but physiologically obesity is almost always caused by consuming more calories than one burns.

I am in disbelief that people that bitchy are happy

It's what makes some people happy.

I think it relieves some of the tension temporarily then makes their unhappiness spiral deeper longer term.

That's probably true.

Both are correct

Or maybe Op just fed up at getting squashed again on public transport.

If you are only burning 1200 calories a day then eating less than that to lose weight is very hard. Weight loss injections make that possible.

Obese people do have as much right and I do have sympathy. I was sitting beside a very obese man on a flight once and he was taking over some of my seat . He was trying his best not to but it was impossible . It was a short flight and it was very uncomfortable. I wouldn’t dream of saying anything to make things harder for this man than they already are, but by the same token it would have been horrible for me if it was a long haul flight. Like when you are actually taking up part of someone else’s seat it is not really fair on the other person either , regardless.

You're assuming:

• that she is happy being fat and has actually chosen this for some reason
• that a fat person can never be happy
• that she isn't trying to lose weight
• that she wasn't even bigger and IS actively losing weight.

A lot of assumptions to make about a complete stranger.

I guess this is the risk you take when you have to be in the presence of other people <shudder> some take up too much space, some constantly clear their throats, some shed skin flakes, some smell, some constantly jiggle their legs, some try to talk to you, some ignore you when you try to talk to them, some sigh heavily the whole time, some laugh out loud at their podcast startling you. I think actually the problem might be your intolerance rather than fat people exclusively?

Spilt is completely acceptable as the past participle of 'to spill'

🎯

nasty thread OP if true. think it if you must but then keep these sort of thoughts to yourself.

If you want to be judgy OP try learning how to spell lose

It is judgemental and unkind, airlines are not interested in comfort, the seat sizes are very small especially on budget airlines, people do need to be aware that they may need to book an extra seat though if they are not going to fit, it's not pleasant or comfortable for anyone. I'm surprised if she wasn't offered a seat belt extender for safety.

I've been fat - never enough to need 2 seats but enough so I felt uncomfortable sitting next to someone on a plane/bus/train in case I touched them or took a bit of their space. It's miserable.
But agree with the OP (maybe not quite how she said it but the sentiment) because it really isnt the other passengers fault. And they don't deserve to be squished and made super uncomfortable because someone else is too fat.
There are lots of reasons why people get fat. None of that should need to be the concern of complete strangers just trying to get on with their lives and sit in a plane seat.
If you can't fit in a size 10 you don't buy one and pull it over your head and walk around with it like that all day. You purchase appropriately. If you can't sit in 1 plane seat, you buy 2. You don't make someone else's flight miserable too. It's bloody selfish.

It's complex and obesity is not always a choice.

But as a short and petite person who takes up 3/4 of a seat I find it infuriating when someone takes up the rest and makes me uncomfortable on my journey too, particularly on a flight (but also at the theatre or a man spreader on a train).

It's like my extra room is carte blanche to take up.

Have taken to sitting close to the edge and using my bag to make my space look more used up!

Also, sorry but on a plane I think you should have to book two seats if you are that obese. Sorry but all people have paid for their own seat.

If they are that pedantic about cabin baggage, then airlines probably need to monitor seat creep too!

I fall in and out of love with Mumsnet. One of the things that really irritates me are the responses to threads that have no baring on the actual thread.

Just accept what poster is saying … some buses have seat belts.

It’s like a poster saying the kids are on holiday or it’s snowing where they are. It’s the Internet, people can be anywhere in the world not just where you are.

I got crushed on a long haul flight some years ago. I was in economy. The large gentleman was twice the size of his own seat. You couldn't actually see my seat at all. The cabin crew shrugged their shoulders as the flight was full so there was no alternative seat.

I had no choice other than to squash myself in between him and the other passenger. I felt so sorry for the poor bloke, trying to make himself smaller and holding his arms in front of himself.

I had to undergo weeks of physio afterwards as I'd really buggered up my shoulder and back.

I have no idea what the answer is - bigger seats? I wouldn't want to see any larger person humiliated or being made to pay double for 2 seats.

A council operated bus service locally has seat belts on the front seats only.

Seat belt on public transport? I use the tram and buses where i live and the tube when I go to London and have never encountered seat belts.