Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

[Bayleaftree63]

On public transport earlier. A very large woman sits nexts to me. She couldn’t get the seat belt
round her. Her body spilt over into my seat, leaving me squashed with what little space there was left.

On the journey I couldn’t help be annoyed at the lack of space I was left with and questioning how do people let themselves get to that size. Talking morbidly obese, not just larger - whatever the medical
term.

This isn’t about shaming, more I’m in disbelief people being that big are happy? Why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.

I think actually the problem might be your intolerance rather than fat people exclusively?

Sounds to me like OP just didn't like being squished.

Is it? Or are people just putting too many calories in their mouths?
Seems like a very ‘simple’ concept to me.

How do you know she was happy? And anyway, why shouldn't big people be happy - happiness is not dependent on size or shape

How do you genuinely not understand that obesity is much more complex than simply becoming more healthy?

They are putting too many calories in their mouths but usually as a result of difficult lives or abusive childhoods. Similar to drug use and alcoholism, it is a coping mechanism rather than greed or lack of self control.

I've just written and the deleted three posts. I can't be bothered except to say overweight can SOMETIMES be turned round but you can't cure stupid.

Does it seem that way to you because you’ve been thin your whole life and never suffered a slow metabolism, a dietary disorder, an insulin resistance, or any other form of weight related difficulty?

I’ve put two pounds on this week by being warm. No change to my diet (and I am on one), just my body keeping water like it thinks it’s a paddling pool because the sun came out.

"Why wouldn’t you want to lose some weight for a healthier lifestyle."

The logical conclusion should be that it's not just a choice/simple matter of willpower. Nobody is happy to be that size. Are they getting on with things and happy in other areas of life, sure, what's the alternative? Thankfully medicine is catching up and offering solutions, though I wish government could tax the upf food companies that contribute (drive) this issue. Also, there are both genetic + socio economic factors that contribute, so no/little meritocracy involved.

I agree with you OP but be prepared to don your hard hat!

Obese people have every right to travel the aame as everyone else. They do not have the rights to other peoples space though.

They don’t do this deliberately. They pair a lone small traveller up with an obese person. It’s happened to me on many flights.

I was on a short flight recently, in an aisle seat. The man in the middle seat was big and had his arms folded for most of the flight, probably trying very hard not to encroach on my space - his partner was in the window seat. I felt sorry for him. It's not easy being comfortable in tiny spaces.

On a flight seats are allocated so the person who sits beside you is taken out of your hands. All you can do is ask the cabin crew if there are any spare seats. On a bus, coach or train seats are not usually allocated so its up to the individual to defend their own space. I dont want to be squashed all the way to Paris. By telling the person I was "waiting for my friend" I deflected her to another seat without having to be nasty or confrontational. If I had a real friend I was waiting for I would obviously have kept it for her.

You could have moved AND you don't have to be such a judgy asshole.

Do you say the same about anorexics? Alcoholics? Drug users?

Or do you save your bile just for fatties?

Given how seat selection and often check-in is done according to passenger preference and before passengers get anywhere near the airport I don't see how that could be facilitated on a routine basis.

I'm guessing you mean a plane.

Yeah it's not good. The seats on short haul and budget airlines are tiny. My knees get bruised sometimes and I'm only 5'5. I've never had to be next to a very big person thank goodness.

You need to try Finland airways. Apparently they weigh you along with your luggage. But idk what they can say if you're big. They can't force you to buy a second seat. Maybe they should.

It also makes the whole question about luggage weight seems like a scam. They don't know how many above average weight people they're going to get, so clearly they can take an unlimited number of them before the plane becomes too heavy? So why be so tight about luggage? I guess maybe that's the reason why, it's the only factor they can control.

So OP has just done one (obnoxious) goady post then pissed off?

What a charmer

Yes, good idea, deflecting people to different seats so you don't need to sit near them. We could have different seating areas for different types of people.

I seem to recall something very like this has been put in place when people didn't want to be near other people whose physical characteristics they didn't like. What could I be thinking of ...? I'm sure it was a bus involved ...

Did you think she was genuinely curious?

Wondering why a person with obesity 'doesn't just lose weight' is the same type of thinking as 'why can't that parent stop their baby from crying?'. Jeez, if only they'd realise that it's just SO simple. 🙄

You need to get on to the World Heath Org, now! Tell them you’ve found the cure for the obesity crisis!

@BillieWiper

It also makes the whole question about luggage weight seems like a scam. They don't know how many above average weight people they're going to get, so clearly they can take an unlimited number of them before the plane becomes too heavy?

FWIW there's a whole system involving assumed passenger weights that most airlines use. Those systems are checked in part by occasionally/frequently running surveys where passengers get weighed at airports.

That's done to ensure the assumed figures have some basis in reality, and in any event there's enough buffer built into the assumed weight figures and enough flex in aircraft performance to cope with minor deviations from the ideal.

Crew are also usually briefed to look out for instances where the passenger weight demographic looks skewed...e.g. carrying an entire NFL or Rugby squad.

If they paid for health care i wonder how that would help them.
Working with a over weight lazy person who was so self absorbed made me sick
Obesity is unlike we have ever seen.

This is absolutely archaic.

seems like they may have just wanted to say ‘fat people, gross! Amirite? ‘
Who knows, perhaps make OP feel a little better about themselves.

Yet it actually works. Funny that.