AIBU in thinking you can fall in love with someone you’ve met online?

[JosieMay1970]

Been talking to a man online for a while, around 6 weeks, now I have intense emotions towards him, he messages me all the time, we send photos to each other throughout the day, our dinner, at work etc and today I realised I care for him and the thought of him not being in my life hurts me.

do you think even though we haven’t met, I could actually be in love with him?

I think you can develop an in depth set of feelings online, but I think you need to know the person in real life before you can love them properly.

I met my late DH online, but I knew him in real life for ages afterwards before we got wed.

I met my current partner online, but we’ve got to know each other really well in real life.

If you’re connecting, then meet in life. 👍

If you have not video chatted he is 100% a catfish. Have you seen the show Catfish?

It's definitely possible to meet people online, I met DH via online dating. But I set a boundary of around 10 miles from me on the app so I could meet up with them easily and regularly.

I had some great chats via the online dating app, calls,messages etc. But when I met them in person it was clear from 1 date that it absolutely wasn't going to work. Nothing particularly wrong with them, just no in person connection. So I warn against these extended chat times, you can easily end up wasting your time on someone who wasn't for you

Yes, that’s the one. Elon apparently needed Apple gift store vouchers to pay for a flight because his money was tied up 😂.

I watched the Johnny Depp one, too. There are actually a couple of those. Same, I feel sorry for some of them because you can clearly tell they have issues or are incredibly lonely, but the Elon Musk one was an absolute horror who treated her husband terribly and showed absolutely no remorse for how she behaved.

Of course, in the end, “Elon” was a Nigerian scammer. Who would have thought.

You’re in love with the idea of this person, not in love with him

Don't waste any more time on him. Arrange to meet up half way and then decide. For all you know you might him and the attraction might fall off. It could also go through other way and be really in love. You won't know until you meet.

How do you know this? If all you have done is exchange messages, he could be next door for all you know. Have you even spoken on the phone or heard his voice at all? I suspect, like most others here, that you are being scammed. Put it to the test- say you need to meet (halfway if necessary and in public, obviously). If he always has a reason not to (especially if the ‘reasons’ are implausible ie he’s been rushed to hospital or been kidnapped), then I think you’ll know where you stand. Do not, under any circumstances, give him any money.

He needs to send you videos of him doing the following things

1. Clearing his throat
2. Eating an apple
3. Watching the news
4. Going round the supermarket on a weekday morning without taking blood pressure pills
5. Driving to work
6. Being asleep
7. Being awake
8. Reading
9. Applying salt / pepper to a meal
10. Stretching
11. Breathing
12. Opening the curtains

This will give you the answer

Well, it happened to me, very very quickly I knew this person was meant to be part of my life.

He moved to be closer a few months after that and we’ve been together over a year now, and very very happy. We’re an excellent match and we both knew that very quickly.

Or it could be a 10 hour drive to…the north of Scotland.

You are absolutely not in love with him and are likely to come down to earth with a crash if you actually meet

Yes limerance, not love. Similar to if you “love” a popstar.

My opinion is this can happen if you don’t have enough going on in your life, attention wise etc.

be careful OP, this could be a catfishing centre in the far east

So do you accept the predominant view on here OP, that it’s not love?

Why have you not met yet?!

After 6 weeks? No.

But I met my partner online. We spoke for 3 years before he flew over to meet me. We’ve been together for 15 years with 3 children.

Are you my mum?

She’s daft like this. The latest is she put my son on the phone to talk to the latest one (she had met him once). Utterly ridiculous.

So what’s the goal here? - will you travel to meet him, him to you or meet up halfway? Or is this only going to be a chatting online thing?

I’m sure he is very much a real person and genuine but people “fall in love” with AI chatbots now because they just mimic what we want to hear etc - my point being that you need to meet in person, spend time together, see each other’s flaws etc before it could be anything meaningful.

No, you are infatuated with the idea of him and the picture you’ve built up in your mind of him with you filling in the gaps. I’d tread carefully here. Don’t trust him yet.

You’ve got a crush on him. Until you actually meet in person it’ll never be more than that.

I couldn't just not reply after reading some of the comments.

Sadly, not. I think it's excitement, lust, passion, limerence, but yes your head and heart will be tugging you in different directions.

Enjoy it for what it is but don't get hurt x 💐

Where is that, roughly?

Do you think it would be realistic for him to be in love with you? Having never met you, never lived with you, doesn’t know you on a day to day basis?

If a virtual stranger came up to you and said he’s seen you around and is in love with you, would you think it was real love or he just had a crush, as he doesn’t really know you?

No! Unless you have met in real life it's just a fantasy. This is how romance scams happen. Get back to reality...

You can have very strong feelings for him, the potential for a loving relationship.
I met a couple on holiday who married after 3 weeks, 20 years together. It happens.

No you have fallen in love with the version of him that he is presenting to you. He many not be who he seems. Be very careful - do not send him money no matter what story he tells you.