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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to wish posters would read the thread before replying?

141 replies

plomh · 21/06/2026 06:19

It disheartens me when posters don’t read the facts or info the OP mentions in the OP or other posts.

Read the thread before commenting.

OP posts:

Sherararara · 21/06/2026 07:31

Tillow4ever · 21/06/2026 06:54

It annoys me when you read the op, then read the first reply and in their desperation to be first to respond you can tell they haven’t read the post at all and are just responding to the title.

Reading comprehension on here is shockingly bad at times. I know I’ve read a number of responses that all refer to a specific detail and thought “I don’t remember that”, so go back and re-read to find that sure enough, the person replying has just completely invented facts to fit the advice they want to give. Or people ask questions that you can clearly see the answer to if you were to just read the bloody op!

There are also people who seem to make assumptions, presumably based on their own situation. The amount of times I’ve read people refer to the OP’s husband when the op only mentioned a partner and not their sex or said they’re married is ridiculous. Then there’s the assumption that everyone that posts is a woman from England (I say England, not the UK, as people will often forget that laws in different parts of the uk can be different) and that they’re in a heterosexual relationship. I’ve even seen where an op says in the first line of their post that they are a woman in a sane sex relationship and still the first responder talks about the OP’s husband…

I am a little more forgiving over someone responding to the OP and not having seen a subsequent comment where they drip feed something crucial. Sometimes you can tell from an OP that they’re being cagey or that some info is missing so you know to check - but sometimes people will take it on face value. All relevant details really should be in the OP! For example - a poster will come on complaining their boyfriend is messaging their ex a lot and doing things to help them, giving them lifts, etc and they aren’t happy about it. You get people replying saying he’s clearly still into her, she should leave etc and then 5 pages in she suddenly mentions that the ex is 8 months pregnant with his child and that the lifts are to hospital appointments relating to the pregnancy, and the messages are purely about that etc. It completely changes the situation, but the OP gave no hint to it originally so they’d have a bunch of responses telling them they aren’t unreasonable.

I do get what you mean by disheartening. It’s more about the level of reading comprehension because it seems to reflect wider society. Very few seem to have the patience anymore to sit and read something carefully anymore - people want their information in a 30 second video clip and then move on.

TLDR

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/06/2026 07:31

Sartre · 21/06/2026 06:52

Some threads are like 500 posts long before you get to them though, who on earth has the time to read through the whole thread? I try to read OP’s posts first but again, occasionally the OP will have posted about 35 times.

Show quote history

My rule of thumb is that threads like that are rarely going to be worth bothering with. Lots and lots of repetition and misunderstanding. Some posters going off on a tangent and derailing the thread. Some of the really long threads (and especially the sequences of threads) about a personal dilemma are quite obviously either totally fictitious or greatly exaggerated. Not for me.

Sartre · 21/06/2026 07:31

HedgehogSam · 21/06/2026 07:19

If you don’t want to read the whole thread, fair enough. But why bother to add to the thread then? If there are already 500 posts, it’s highly likely that someone else has already made the exact same point.

Show quote history

Don’t know, why is anyone on here at all? It’s just fun and a way to pass the time really isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be taken so seriously, nobody is testing us.

HedgehogSam · 21/06/2026 07:32

Viviennemary · 21/06/2026 06:53

I wish folk would stop lecturing others about how they should post. Oh well I just did this.

Show quote history

I wouldn’t say I was lecturing anyone, merely expressing a fond wish. 😅

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/06/2026 07:34

Sherararara · 21/06/2026 07:30

Yes Sir!

Show quote history

Army Guard Training GIF by NationalGuard

And get your hair cut, soldier!

InterestedDad37 · 21/06/2026 07:38

I haven't rtft, but she sounds awful! But it's your DH's role to stop his mum eating all the biscuits.

SunshineOnAStormyDay · 21/06/2026 07:40

He’s a loony, and she’s a man.

itsgettingweird · 21/06/2026 07:48

I understand some may miss info in an OP - although I agree it’s annoying.

What I find infuriating is that they manage to read all the replies asking the questions already answered and quote and ask again.

But somehow manage to miss the replies answering the questions and giving the context asked 🤷‍♀️

Gardenflowering · 21/06/2026 07:51

It’s those OP that say things like

“the weeds in the garden just keep coming back so we have tried boiling water, salt and good quality weed killer but they still come back 100 times more!”
And the replies are “ have you tried boiling water or a really good quality weed killer?

It’s those threads that are annoying!

MyDogClive · 21/06/2026 07:54

Take all that mud off your pants.

And don’t quote the OP for the 15th time.

Sidebeforeself · 21/06/2026 07:59

im amused by how many posters on here are complaining about people posting the same point in a thread … thereby doing exactly the same thing !

Anyway OP your issue has been raised many many times on here .

TroysMammy · 21/06/2026 08:01

I always groan when the OP mentions children and their ages and the first or third reply asks "how old are your children?"

I know that school was a long time ago and we had to learn all sorts that we would never need in our day to day lives like algebra, the gdp of Mongolia or how to make peppermint creams but comprehension is important.

TigerRag · 21/06/2026 08:03

Not exclusive to MN. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had similar on Facebook . For example asking for a recommendation of something to do in a city on a certain date and someone asking what date I'm there. Or replying with "if you were here a week after..."

Anewregime · 21/06/2026 08:05

Sartre · 21/06/2026 07:31

Don’t know, why is anyone on here at all? It’s just fun and a way to pass the time really isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be taken so seriously, nobody is testing us.

Show quote history

Some on mumsnet honestly seem to dedicate their life to it, and take it very very seriously.

Whereas I prefer to see mumsnet as an inane way to switch off for a bit, and then get back to life and properly concentrating!

Anewregime · 21/06/2026 08:08

Shoola · 21/06/2026 07:26

It is an anonymous chat forum that will include many completely made up threads. Not everyone takes it that seriously.

This

HedgehogSam · 21/06/2026 08:25

Sartre · 21/06/2026 07:31

Don’t know, why is anyone on here at all? It’s just fun and a way to pass the time really isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be taken so seriously, nobody is testing us.

Show quote history

It's not important in the grand scheme of things (or as I saw elsewhere on social media "the gran Stephen things" 😅). Even on MN there are more pressing issues (like the incessant racism, ableism, ageism, etc.), not to mention in the wider world. The topic of the OP is a pet peeve of mine, no more. 🤷‍♀️

Loulou4022 · 21/06/2026 10:32

I think a lot of posters and I’m guilty of this myself as I’m answering from the first page and haven’t read the second, read, comment and run! Some of the threads are 9+ pages long and I guess a lot of people haven’t got time to read every post!

likelysuspect · 21/06/2026 10:35

Anewregime · 21/06/2026 06:40

It’s a chat forum not a job

Do whatever the heck you like. Read the title and jump right in if you wish. You might make a tit of yourself but… it is online and anonymous so really - who gives a fig.

Some mumsnetters users really do seem to regard mumsnetting as a profession.

Show quote history

This.

I mean really, who cares.

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 15:26

How do you feel about OPs that start threads and then don’t ever return @plomh ?

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 15:27

likelysuspect · 21/06/2026 10:35

This.

I mean really, who cares.

Show quote history

Oh there’s some pretty frightening posters on mumsnetters who care. As in really care like some kind of obsession!

ErrolTheDragon · 21/06/2026 16:14

Sartre · 21/06/2026 07:31

Don’t know, why is anyone on here at all? It’s just fun and a way to pass the time really isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be taken so seriously, nobody is testing us.

Show quote history

It’d be more fun if there weren’t quite so many posters nowadays who feel the need to comment without having even read the OPs posts let alone RTFT.

Ah well, hell is other people …

ExitPursuedByABare · 21/06/2026 16:16

Can’t believe I’m the first to say this.

Cancel the cheque.

FeliciaFancybottom · 21/06/2026 16:19

Don't say you're going against the grain and then post the same sentiment as everyone else.

Slowandsilentindifference · 21/06/2026 16:21

YABU

If you post expect replies

If the first 10 people got to the thread first and replied to OP then why not others

Dont drip feed
Use paragraphs

Slowandsilentindifference · 21/06/2026 16:21

YABU

If you post expect replies

If the first 10 people got to the thread first and replied to OP then why not others

Dont drip feed
Use paragraphs

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