To wonder what you do if your toddler kicks off on a plane?

[cucumberandlime]

Just thinking about this as had a horrible cinema trip with my toddler. And wondered how on earth you’d manage with running around, screaming etc on a plane?

Mine have never kicked off on a flight though and I can’t really remember a flight where a toddler has noticeably relentlessly been horrendous either. I know my sister had issues with hers long haul, but he has suspected autism. What I’m saying is that I think most kids manage and I personally wouldn’t be put off for this reason.

Yeah, I get this, would probably be fine. It’s just equally they might not be! Can’t afford it at the moment anyway.

I think they feed off your feelings sometimes so if you’re stressed they’re more likely to be? Lots of calm activities to do etc?

We’ve taken both of our DDs (now both much older) regularly on flights since they were about 5 months old including long haul from toddler age. I’ve always naively assumed they’d be fine and they have been. (Except the 10 mins for take off when youngest was newly 2 so had to sit in her own seat and wanted my lap - had to physically hold her down but was fine for the rest of the flight).

Ive always expected a decent amount of sitting still though - longish meals out, visiting older relatives etc so maybe they were more used to it. Maybe do more sitting at table / on a bus etc practice until they can happily do a couple of hours of colouring / stickers etc without getting too fidgety.

To be honest, they aren’t bad at sitting as a rule. We’ve been to the theatre countless times, don’t eat out loads but we do and don’t use screens either, but children are unpredictable and it’s that ‘well if you’ve tried all the distraction methods at hand and they are still determined to get up and run round the plane wtf do you actually do’ that gives me cold shivers! I hate feeling like I’ve no backup 😂

Urgh such an obnoxious MN comment

Aside from being an absolute nuisance it is dangerous for them to run around on a plane - hot drinks, food trolleys, safety procedures, turbulence etc etc. if they really can’t stay in a seat with maybe a little stroll or two to the loo and back with a parent, it’s not safe for them to be on board. Like you say, you can’t exactly leave.

You could just point out that if you do have to leave it’s a very long way down.

My daughters coming up for 3 and we been away a couple times a year since she was 7 months. I was dreading our recent trip last month as we well and truly in the thick of terrible 2s at moment 🤦‍♀️ She was fine though. We just had lots of snack on stand by and had couple toys to play with on plane. She's not a tablet kid but has it for long journeys in car/plane. We only have the one child so its not as bad as entertaining multiples! I think you just gotta bite the bullet and do it or you will never do it out of fear. Try short 2 hour flights and see how it goes as they get older im sure they just get easier anyway.

We flew regularly when my boy was a toddler. I would distract him with books, toys, and stickers and if that failed I would breastfeed him. He would usually get sleepy and nap then.

I’ll prob be flamed for this but I believe in an exceptional abundance of screen time on flights .

Go by ferry or Eurostar

If you've ever had an unexpected interaction with the sharp edges of a galley cart you'll know not running on an aircraft is pretty sound advice.

It is really hard! I quickly realised that’s why so many families go to Cornwall!

As others have said, a strategy of complete and unflinching appeasement. Screens, snacks, new toys. If they have WiFi on the plane, take selfies with Snapchat filters, that keeps mine happy for ages. Also The Works sell themed activity bags (Paw Patrol etc) which are great for journeys.

What is the AIBU here? You're just asking a question. Why not ask in the parenting topic?

For a short flight? Nothing to worry about. Anything less than 5 hours will be absolutely fine for a prepared parent of a toddler.. (unless there are other things going on, teething, illness, night time flight, part of a much longer journey, ND etc)

Just do as everyone said... Over pack with activities and food, and prepare to play with them for the duration, minus the time you are willing to let them watch things or go on screens.

For long haul? That is a different matter, because then you are going over the limit for sleep/exhaustion, which is where most of the problems come in. Because of my family situation I fly long haul a lot, and the real differential is how easy the kids sleep. If they go off fine, no problem.. but if they struggle to sleep on a 10-12h flight, at 2-3 they just won't be able to handle it, and your going to have a meltdown.

Ah sorry I didn’t realise you’re a single parent, yes it would be harder to distract both of them at the same time, but the older one is probably too old to kick off?

I have a nearly three year old and nearly five year old and live abroad. Everytime we fly I just tell myself it’s not for long over and over again.
Sometimes the cabin crew give sweets and chocolate to the children if they are being particularly whiny.
I always threaten them I will tell the cabin crew when they won’t sit down but the cabin crew usually just stare at me when I really want them to tell my children off haha

i used to pack surprise new toys for the holiday , eg Polly pocket, mini kite, squishies, colouring. And lots and lots of snacks.

We travelled a few times a year when dcs were toddlers and found trains were better for European travel as they can take a walk through the carriage and there is interesting scenery, big tables to put toys and pens on etc. We live close to Eurostar so it was easier than getting to an airport too. But we did one long haul every year to see family, and it was trickier in the toddler years but never unmanageable. I don't think either of my dcs ever kicked off though they got restless and wanted to move around. We let them climb between us on our row of seats (no one else on that row) and sometimes got up for a walk. We brought toys, tablet with their favourites downloaded, snacks, books, a magazine. I breastfed until they were 4 which helped them stay calm generally and to nap on the flight, so they slept quite a bit.

I've often wondered this myself OP - fortunately we've never experienced it with DD as she was quite happy to sit and be distracted with toys/stickers/ books/tablet/food and the ratio was 2 adults to 1 child. We've now got 18m old DS too and thought of flying with him brings me out in a cold sweat 😆. We're driving and getting the ferry this year.

Laughing at some replies here - 'talk to them and explain the situation' - yeah, that's going to work with a tired, distressed under 2.

What do you do? Quite frankly there's not much you can do if the circumstances align badly - so delays, having to travel because of ... (sibling family wedding)

There is a world of difference between a placid 3 year old and an under 2 that does not understand reasoning or threats in the future.

You contain as much as possible so within the space you have available (ie your seats, not anywhere else).

Sometimes a trip to the loos to run cold water on the hands and head of the purple screaming monster will give the cabin a brief respite from the hell that you have inflicted on them.

Drinks, food, technology - would just be a missile for a toddler in the throws of a full on 'I want to... get off the plane, sleep, run around, don't really know why ' tantrum. You sometimes have to wait until they exhaust themselves and hopefully sleep (no such luck for me)

My experience was that people that I thought had every right to be pretty pissed off were actually quite sympathetic - as long as they can see you are doing everything you can to silence the monster.

Our cabin crew actually suggested that the captain was quite concerned about the welfare of the child - were they actually very sick?? (Nope - they were just very very persistent). Their attempts to give them a teddy (thrown across cabin - both my hands were wrapped around said child at the time) - they suggested drugging them (had already done so) and eventually they moved us into their area at the back of the plane to limit the noise.

We did not fly again until they were in double digits. If I had known how badly it was going to go I would have apologised to my sibling and stayed at home.

They had been angelic on the flight in.

I remember one time when I travelled alone with my 2 year old and baby at the time another passenger had to carry my baby and luggage as I wrestled my screaming toddler off the plane when we landed. I always find the way home worse as they are generally overstimulated and exhausted.
I just use my mantra that the time will pass and it won’t last for long!

When mine screamed all the way (to those asking the flight was to Spain so about two hours) it was because he was a few days later diagnosed with an ear infection and therefore the changes in cabin pressure had caused a massive amount of ear pain.

he was 18 months at the time and had very limited language and understanding.

there’s not a hell of a lot you can do in those circumstances - we had books and snacks etc but an 18 month old in a lot of pain realistically is going to cry.

we didn’t have calpol or similar in our cabin bags.

we did fly with them when they were five (twins) and they were very well behaved. However we always always had a large packet of sweets to help equalise air pressure and took calpol with us into the cabin.

Not nice foe everyone else tho

No it’s not, but it’s 2 hours. I’m sure most adults can cope for a couple of hours. People say that children nowadays lack resilience, but a lot of adults seem unable to cope with short periods of discomfort caused by children (who are equally entitled to be in public spaces).

I was taking 5hr journeys on my own when mine were 3 and newborn. They knew it was an option to run up and down the train, the days before ipad / screens, in the early days at least. My nephew is a nightmare on transport and they say they can’t stop him running up the aisle. I don’t understand that tbh. Mine weren’t perfect but they didn’t do what they liked and to hell to anyone else on board.