To wonder what you do if your toddler kicks off on a plane?

[cucumberandlime]

Just thinking about this as had a horrible cinema trip with my toddler. And wondered how on earth you’d manage with running around, screaming etc on a plane?

I raised four of them
We never had any of that

I think there’s an element of being deliberately provocative here but I’ll bite.

As a rule, no, although when children feel or are unwell they do often cry and get upset which I’m not planning on nipping in the bud. What’s more likely though is you get a toddler feeling out of sorts, can’t articulate it, they start trying to twist and turn, get out of their seat, fling themselves around generally, I can tell when DD is tired as she contorts and twists around on my lap: it’s a sensory thing I think.

Wow! We all bow to your superior parenting.

You fill them with the max dosage of calpol + stodgy food so they’re as tired and groggy as legally safe.

same to be fair. I do think some kids are better tantrummers than others though. My niece was a terror despite her mum parenting her in the same way as her brother (and parenting well as far as I can tell). She’s a dream now, but I definitely felt intimidated by my 2 year old niece.

Looked after loads of kids - never met a 2 year old like her 😂

Surely you just wouldn’t take them on a plane if you knew that? you wouldn’t subject the child to it never mind the rest of the family and the passengers

😂

Well, we haven’t yet, but you don’t know. All you can do is make a judgement based on your knowledge of your child - which is most probably accurate but I guess all children are unpredictable to a point.

DD took me by surprise in the cinema and it did get me wondering how the hell have coped on a plane. Which made me decide to move the holiday abroad ever further down the line!

I’ve always travelled with my children. I try to preempt it by packing snacks, toys, screens. But worst case scenario, if they have a tantrum I just hold them in a huge bear hug on my lap until it’s over. Eventually they tire themselves out and stop. A flight is only a few hours of my life, it’s not the end of the world (and luckily we only had that scenario twice across maybe 25-30 flights with toddlers)

I do think on these threads there can be a world of difference between parents with one child and those with multiple.

I also think if you have a child who gets tired, nods off and that’s the beginning, middle and end, your experience is light years away from those who have a child who gets steadily more and more tired, more wired, ends up ridiculously sensitive to the point a minor knock can make them scream and howl but won’t sleep!

In fairness I was probably that child when I was little. My brother and I just didn’t sleep anywhere that wasn’t bed! I remember my mum getting really upset about it on a holiday to France because we were away with another family and all their children were asleep in the back of the car. I used to think that was a daft thing to get upset about. Mum, I am so sorry 😂

You do everything you can to quieten them down - normal rules do not apply.

• give sweets/food
• breastfeed if still bf even if you wouldn't usually bf a big toddler out and about
• bribe with any distraction at all - your phone, your handbag etc

Lots of the things you might give for travel sickness have a side effect of drowsiness (kwells kids etc), which might make it more likely a child will nap. The noise of the plane sent both mine to sleep at that age

Honestly, unless the flight is vital, I wouldn’t bother. We didn’t fly with our kids until they were 6 and 4. The whole idea of going abroad on holiday with a toddler/small baby was horrifying! Instead we went to child friendly places in the uk such as center parcs, and driving holidays where eg. to Scotland from London and stopped at various places en route staying in b&bs on farms etc.
We have travelled extensively all over the world with our (now adult) kids, but holidays are meant to be fun, and struggling with little kids on planes and hotels really did not appeal!

I wouldn’t take a child who was prone to running around and screaming on a plane, sorry but I just wouldn’t.

Not my child I guess 🤷‍♀️ I do have sympathy for parents with strong willed children though (mine have always been very easy to distract).
Thing is kids like this are not like this 99% of the time - so is it reasonable to deny yourself a holiday- I don’t think so.
I don’t think a plane to Spain would be the worst thing in the world. No I wouldnt take a child like that to Australia. (I did take my 2 and 4 year olds that far and they were the most agreeable passengers on that plane).

Took my eldest 2 to Australia and nz aged 2 and 4. Easiest passengers on the plane. Best time of my life.
My 5 year old is feral in real life - on a plane he’s a dream child - I think they just copy what everyone else does. He’s done 5-7 hour flights a few times no bother at all.

Dont think it’s necessary to limit planes for 99% of kids.

I wouldn’t have said she was prone to it but then in the cinema apparently she was!

So that brings us to here, which is that 95% of MNetters just tell their toddlers it won’t be tolerated and that’s the end of it 😂

We never took toddlers on a plane. It's not fair to the other passengers. We actually didn't take them until they were much older, as my youngest is autistic and was quite unpredictable until she was years out of toddlerhood.

Same with their husbands. They just won't staaaaaand for it.

You don’t accept running around and screaming. It’s not an option. Kids are kids but you are a parent. Yes tantrums happen but for the love of mankind don’t accept that running around and screaming is “ok”.

When my youngest was 14 months old we were on the night flight from US to UK, and she screamed pretty much the whole way. She was too big to go in the sky cot and so was on my knee, but she just couldn’t settle and cried and cried. Eventually she’d conk out through exhaustion, and you could hear everyone around me breathe a sigh of relief and start to doze off themselves, but then 10-15 minutes later she’d wake up screaming again. This repeated for the whole 9 hour flight. I could feel the hatred from everyone and I was beyond exhausted myself. Didn’t get a wink of sleep and then had a 3 hour drive home from the airport.

The way out had been better because it was a day flight, but I had to spend the whole flight pretty much just walking up and down the plane with DD as that’s all that would keep her happy.

I wouldn’t recommend it as an experience!

Sounds like you're a permissive parent.

If for example, your child is kicking the seat in front and won't stop then you have to physically stop them because you cannot have that behaviour on a flight. It's not fair on the passenger in front. After the warnings if they still have not stopped, you remove their shoes and hold their legs so they cannot kick.

I can't imagine my DC ever behaving the way you describe, and I do have multiple. Yes they've been challenging but never 'kicked off' in public to an extent that we couldnt get them under control. Remember you are the adult in the situation, and you have to model the kind of behaviour you expect from them.

If you already parent in a way that they know that behaviour is not tolerated then they are much less likely to 'kick off'.

Hopefully short flight?

@NameChangeScot nah, but planes are small. Physically preventing a child from kicking a seat for hours might be difficult. I don’t think mine have ever kicked seats but then until today had never thrown popcorn and tried to run off in a dark cinema either. And in the unlikely but not impossible because nothing is event of them both doing it at the same time I could hardly pin them both down at once.

How you’ve managed to get from me saying ‘well normally we’d deal with this by leaving or threatening to: can’t do this on a plane’ to ‘you are clearly a permissive parent’ god knows though. I don’t think permissive parents give it that much thought.

I’m not planning on taking flights with them ever in the near future though. More just pondering … on the way back from the awful cinema visits I wondered what the hell id have done on a plane!

Just be seen to be trying to distract/contain them. Most passengers will be sympathetic if you’ve brought colouring/head phones / snacks and try to stop them kicking the seat in front.

The worst I had was a man with a 3 year old in business class (I needed to work) who brought nothing. Demanded activities from the staff and (when they weren’t available) then let his toddler listen to cartoons on full volume and kick my seat for 3 hours. When the staff eventually asked him to turn it off, she had a full on meltdown.

Aware that other passengers were unhappy, he ended the flight by smugly announcing at full volume how well she’d done as she was only 3. He seemed blissfully unaware of the fact that the whole plane was judging HIM for making no attempt to control or entertain his toddler.