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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to move in my garden so that a neighbour's dog stops barking?

324 replies

Motnight · 19/06/2026 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

OP posts:
Pigeonatthewheel · 20/06/2026 19:10

Buy him some flowers to keep the peace. I would go for lilies, and deliver them right over the fence dressed with a good dollop of baconnaise.

arghhelpme · 20/06/2026 19:12

Yanbu. The part of the road i live on, our back gardens back on to an alley way, no house behind. Next doors dog is out from morning til 11/12 pm. Will bark at any one in the alley, major walk way to local town. The dog needs to be trained

Daftypants · 20/06/2026 19:19

PrettyLittleRose · 19/06/2026 16:30

Urgh, what an entitled shit he is! I would have stayed exactly where I was for as long as I was able to.

My neighbour has a yappy little fucking nippy kind of dog, and it's on the front lawn sometimes, and it barks at me when I am out there watering my flowers and plants out at the front. Comes up to the fence grizzling and growling and bearing its teeth. I ignore it and think 'fuck off you little cunt, I'm in MY garden!' Neighbour is usually around the side of their house, utterly oblivious to barky cunt snarling at me for NOTHING.

Last week when I was watering the flowers (in the front garden) with the hose (and the nozzle on sprinkle mode,) he jumped up the 3 ft high fence and was snarling at me, so I turned the hose on him. Soaked the little shit. He ran off squealing.

I'm not sorry, and I will do it again.

I have always had dogs , currently have a dog and love dogs .
i think what you did was perfectly reasonable so long as it wasn’t a power washer 😉😉

DollydaydreamTheThird · 20/06/2026 19:20

Cluelessfirstimer · 20/06/2026 19:06

🤣😂 I feel this!

Thanks, sometimes I feel like the only one. Unpopular opinion and all. 🤣

Mandaxx25 · 20/06/2026 19:22

k1233 · 19/06/2026 22:13

Funny you say that - and aren't otters just gorgeous with their favourite rocks!

When I had my staffy, we were renting. When we would move, I'd make a point of taking him to meet the neighbours and introducing ourselves and saying to let me know if he barked etc. He didn't, he was a lovely dog. But from that it seems he learned who the "allowable" people were. If he hadn't been introduced to you, he'd bark. The neighbours loved him (as did the postie at one placed - he'd stop for big cuddles) as when he barked they knew there was a stranger around.

If you appeared at my door with a staffie you'd regret it. Does it ever occur to you people that others don't want anything to do with you or your hellbeast?

PointyNoseDog · 20/06/2026 19:23

My dogs occasionally bark to let me know there’s someone on the other side of my fence, I thank them for letting me know and tell them to be quiet.

Your neighbour is an entitled dickhead. He needs to train his dog.

ARingtoit · 20/06/2026 19:23

What an entitled man! If my dog yaps in the garden (which he will occasionally if there's a shrill laugh or odd noise), he is brought straight in because a) I refuse to irritate our human neighbours and b) it shows him when he barks the fun stops.

Cluelessfirstimer · 20/06/2026 19:25

ARingtoit · 20/06/2026 19:23

What an entitled man! If my dog yaps in the garden (which he will occasionally if there's a shrill laugh or odd noise), he is brought straight in because a) I refuse to irritate our human neighbours and b) it shows him when he barks the fun stops.

I wish more dog owners were like you.

I adore dogs. Had them growing up. Bloody wonderful animals but i would never have expected other people to bend their behaviour to accommodate my dog.

MmeDubois7 · 20/06/2026 19:26

Tell him to move his dog.

ByRoseBiscuit · 20/06/2026 19:35

He’s an entitled idiot who needs to train his dog, of course you can sit where you want in your garden, especially as you were just sitting there silently!!

menopausequeen · 20/06/2026 19:37

Our dog barks and we bring him in. Simple. You do whatever you like in your own garden and he manages his dog.

Pinkdayss · 20/06/2026 19:42

OP, yanbu.
Just another entitled arse.

I would be beyond furious if my husband was so stupid to say this to a neighbour.

What an idiot.

Mossstitch · 20/06/2026 19:44

@TinyBlueDent I had similar, started giving him treats but not if he barked, now he comes out and makes polite little noises like he's saying 'ahem, I'm here, have you noticed I'm being quiet'..........soooo funny🤣

Cherrysoup · 20/06/2026 19:45

Guy’s an absolute idiot and cheeky with it. Mine are very much discouraged from barking, not a breed that barks much anyway. Sadly, ndn’s dog is a yappy brat who is left to bark and reacts to ours going out. I can’t imagine telling someone to move because my dog was reacting to her! I’d just put the dog inside.

maxslice · 20/06/2026 19:47

He's being rude and unreasonable. Also, entitled. I have a dog. She doesn't bark much. Never at neighbors on the other side of the fence. But if she did, that would be MY problem, not theirs.

justasking111 · 20/06/2026 19:50

Our neighbours have a dog. Since the husband died she has started barking. When I go out the back door to the bins she really starts up if she's in the garden. I just call over the fence to be quiet and she stops. It's something she never did when her master was alive. I think it's sweet that she's apparently protective now.

Yerdug · 20/06/2026 19:55

Well, thats you every day with your 7am tea and a complaint to your council.....

TheYorkshirePudding · 20/06/2026 19:55

He just needs to say to the dog ‘it’s okay it’s Motnight’ and that should be it. Otherwise, retrain. My goodness these people with dogs who don’t train them. I have dogs btw.

Cariadm · 20/06/2026 19:56

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 19/06/2026 16:00

That man needs to train his dog!

Not just his dog but his brain and to get some awareness of what's an appropriate and reasonable request to make of a neighbour just sitting quietly in his own garden minding his own business?! 🙄
His first and immediate thought was that the neighbour was at fault and the 'problem', not his over zealous yappy dog!! 😡

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 20/06/2026 19:57

AnneElliott · 19/06/2026 16:54

YANBU op. Neighbour is batshit. My previous neighbour was similar. She asked me if I could train my cat not to groom herself in a certain place on our patio as the dog could see her through a gap in (her) fence and used to go bonkers. I wondered if she’d ever had a cat - probably not if she thought I could train her ConfusedConfusedConfused

Mind you she also told me that my cat was smirking at her - which to be fair she might have been!

I bloody love cats.

Overworkedandknackered · 20/06/2026 19:57

The only time I can think it would be acceptable to ask a neighbour to move in their own garden would be if you were pruning a tree and there was a risk of something falling on them!

Oldmamabear · 20/06/2026 19:57

My dog barks at anything he hears over fence because thats the nature of dogs but if he doesnt stop when told to back indoors he goes cos Noone wants to hear that and everyone has the right to enjoy their own space without other humans or dogs ruining it for them. You should absolutely not move in your garden because the problem is situated in their garden. I'd tell him that next time. X

Cynicalist · 20/06/2026 19:58

As an owner of 2 mini schnauzers and several neighbours surrounding us, I cannot STAND it when our DOGS bark…. The moment we’re enjoying the peace and the dogs bark, that’s it they are back inside and I’ll enjoy the peace and quiet!! Couldn’t even dream of blaming my neighbours for MY dogs barking!!!

Shoopshawady · 20/06/2026 19:59

This is so crazy! My dog sometimes barks when she hears people next door or maybe another dog barking and I get so embarrassed I take her straight in. I’d never ever dream of telling that person move! What an odd ball!

OkimADHD · 20/06/2026 20:01

I have a similar problem and my neighbour has 3. Every time they are in the garden they bark, even when no one is there. She got me a big bag of biscuits so i could give them one and befriend them.
I did this for a while but tbh as soon as they get the biscuit they bark again. Its so annoying and someone has already complained about them to the council (not me). I have a dog and he very rarely barks but if he does he goes back inside.

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