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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to move in my garden so that a neighbour's dog stops barking?

324 replies

Motnight · 19/06/2026 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

OP posts:
Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/06/2026 18:21

Dog owner is s twat.

The second my puppy (still learning) starts he is called in. Every. Single. Time.

Yes it is a pain but also he learns that if he wants the freedom he needs to not be a dickhead.

Unfortunately I also have arsehole neighbours who are currently on holiday (3rd weekend away) and their dogs are out 24/7/365.

ScribblingPixie · 19/06/2026 18:29

There's one down the bottom that barks at me. I tell it off in the same way I would have when I owned my own. It does the trick. Owners probably wouldn't like it if they heard but too bad.

Passingthrough123 · 19/06/2026 18:30

Motnight · 19/06/2026 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

Oh my god, I think my old NDN might be your new one! How long has he lived there?

JohnofWessex · 19/06/2026 18:34

I suggest neutering

Owner that is not the dog

JohnofWessex · 19/06/2026 18:36

But seriously I think that we need to start with compulsory training for anyone who wants a dog, and the starting point has to be that you understand how your dog is expected to behave and your responsibility to enforce that

Thistooshallpsss · 19/06/2026 18:45

Just end dogs . Simples

Bonkers1966 · 19/06/2026 18:51

Another entitled pet owner. Who knew,?

crazeekat · 19/06/2026 18:52

Honestly, self entitled fuckwit. Wonder if he would ask a man to move. Please don’t ever ever move!

Bufftailed · 19/06/2026 18:55

I have a dog and similar set up. Your neighbour is being stupid. He has to stop the dog barking. Well done for standing your ground.

30mins · 19/06/2026 19:06

Entitlement of some people —eye rolls—

TheeNotoriousPIG · 19/06/2026 19:12

It is your neighbour that needs training... to take the dog in when it's being a problem. Yes, it needs loo breaks, but no, it does not need to be out long enough to inflict itself on the neighbours.

I feel your pain, OP. My neighbour's two dogs are similar. It has crossed my mind that it is somewhat unfortunate that they are also quite young...

Well done for standing your ground.

caringcarer · 19/06/2026 19:23

Yetone · 19/06/2026 17:31

And that is how you train them to stop barking.

Same I bring my 2 dogs in if they bark and don't stop when I tell them quiet and mine are Lhasa Apso so bred to bark and defend territory. They bark, I tell them quiet, and they usually stop or else they know they are back in the house. I hope you get to enjoy the peace of listening to the birds and enjoying your cup of tea OP. If he says any re lse to you point him in the direction of dog behaviourist as he's too lazy to train them himself.

Movinnggbug · 19/06/2026 19:30

This is bonkers. Your neighbour is rude. When my dog barks like that - when unnecessary - I say “Ddog, stop barking”, and he usually does because if he doesn’t, he comes inside. That’s how you teach them to listen to “stop barking” surely?

Sorry you have a bad neighbour. Have you met him before?

IsawwhatIsaw · 19/06/2026 19:52

I have a friend who told me she seldom goes out in her nice garden now because of a dog that will bark loudly incessantly when she does. The owners couldn’t care less and were aggressive when she tried to talk to them.

GottaBeStrong · 19/06/2026 20:27

Mine can be like this but I tell her straight she either STFU or goes back inside. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 I would never expect a neighbour to move because of MY dog. How absurd.

ArchieStar · 19/06/2026 20:33

Motnight · 19/06/2026 17:30

Blimey, this is blowing up!

Anyone who thinks I'm a troll please just report me.

I had a 60 second interaction with a neighbour that has continued to puzzle me. I posted about it. It's really not that deep. My DH isn't around or I would have probably bored him with it instead.

Thank you to everyone who responded to my actual AIBU as opposed to saving it's a post from a dog hater, I don't actually exist but am AI etc etc.

Hi OP,

massive dog lover here. Also a massive supporter of yours, if his dog is barking at people that is HIS problem, NOT the people he is barking at!

itsgettingweird · 19/06/2026 20:35

You were so silent he didn’t know someone was there but yet he thinks you need to move because his dog can sense your silent presence?!

YANBU and I usually say it’s good to be considerate and accommodating sometimes.

He needs to train his dog.

BelieveInCher · 19/06/2026 21:06

TinyBlueDent · 19/06/2026 16:30

Can you see through or over the fence? Is making friends with the dog a possibility, by giving it treats?

I did that with NDN's highly reactive dog, which barked at me whenever I was in the garden. Treats worked, except he then barked at me if I didn't give him a treat. I adjusted to a treat just at the weekend and now he knows he doesn't get a treat every time. If he hears me on the patio he comes to the fence and squeaks at me to say hello.

Easier if it's a next door neighbour though.

You really went cap in hand to a dog to get it to stop barking at you? Really? What next: invite it over for a nice roast?

sweetkitty · 19/06/2026 21:14

Our last dog used to bark at anything. If she barked at the neighbours she was put back in the house immediately.

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:19

Why did he not introduce the dog and you to each other and explain to the dog that you are a friend of the pack?

Stupid man.

Tableforjoan · 19/06/2026 21:20

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:19

Why did he not introduce the dog and you to each other and explain to the dog that you are a friend of the pack?

Stupid man.

Aye ? Why do we need to make friends with a random dog rather than an owner train it.

Tho I realise and hope that was a joke I misread 🤣🤣😅

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:21

Tableforjoan · 19/06/2026 21:20

Aye ? Why do we need to make friends with a random dog rather than an owner train it.

Tho I realise and hope that was a joke I misread 🤣🤣😅

Edited

That is the training. He needs to show the dog safe and expected boundaries.

Tableforjoan · 19/06/2026 21:22

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:21

That is the training. He needs to show the dog safe and expected boundaries.

But it’s not my job to be a training tool. It’s not my dog.

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:23

The dog needs to be told in dog language that neighbour is not a threat. That is the man's duty.

The dog did its best ... being alert ... but it's a dog.

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:24

If the large biped mammal will be sharing a border with the small vigilant quadruped, it is a question of nature, not jobs.

The other large biped mammal (male) needs to step up.