AIBU to feel angry about people parking too close to my car?

[Helene225]

Please be kind I think I’m ND but not diagnosed. I feel crazy writing this so using this anonymous forum to express my anger at people parking really close to my new car!

I’ve spent a lot of money on my new car that I’ve had for 3 weeks, today for example I feel so much anger - drove into work really early only a few cars in parking lot. I was sat in my car getting my stuff together when a colleague I don’t know at all but obviously works there parked right next to me, bear in mind car park was literally empty! She continues to open her door which is now touching my car! I got out quickly and asked if she’s okay and asked her to hang on whilst I move over to make room for her to get out. She says, “no it’s okay I’ll manage!”, I feel so angry like WTF she could have parked a little more to the left so her door could be opened easily without banging into my car. Issue with work car park is there are no parking lines indicating where to park so it’s just left to everyone’s common sense on how much room to leave. Not first time this has happened by the way.

I just don’t get how people are so inconsiderate. Even with my old car I would open the door so carefully and never park so close that my door would be touching a car! I’m just really panicked I will get a scratch on my car from them. I feel paranoid but I keep seeing a dent where she opened her door into my car but DH can’t see anything,

What lines? OP says their aren't any

OP it's hard to accept but a car is out in the world and subject to whatever the world throws at it. I was really upset when my car was deliberately damaged a couple months after I got it but we have to let go and accept we can't control others. You absolutely cannot get annoyed by people parking next to you. That way lies madness. It's just a car.

YABU.* *
Issue with work car park is there are no parking lines indicating where to park so it’s just left to everyone’s common sense on how much room to leave.
The carpark at my work is like this and it's used by staff and customers.
It's really annoying when people just park randomly and it ends up that not as many cars can fit in. It works much better when drivers line up next to the cars already parked.

Your reaction is also way over the top.
What is the point of having g a lovely car if you don't enjoy it and just spend your time fussing over it and in a rage over nothing?

DH is also very protective of his cars and would have insisted on moving his car a little further away in this situation regardless of what the co-worker said. That way the car wouldn't get damaged when she got back. Some people care about their cars and others don't.

I once had an old man ram his door into the side of mine when opening the door. My car rocked from the impact, and it's no dinky car. I was impressed that there wasn't a chip in it from that force. Car paintwork and bodywork is pretty tough though!

OMG again I’m flabbergasted at some of the Mumsnet attitudes.
Yanbu OP. Not even a little bit. People who park next to other people and don’t leave enough space for for doors to be opened comfortably

1. shouldn’t be driving
2. are arseholes

End of.

This is why i wont buy a nice car id be gutted if it got hit ...I don't want to care that much about something material that's beyond my control so I keep a a little run around I'm not botherd by!

In an empty car park it's silly to park right up next to someone.

But in a busy car park, if my small car fits into a bay and I can get in and out I am parking there.

Yes I had the option to do an electric car scheme at work but then I got some scratches on my car and decided I'd be far too stressed if I had a leased car!

YABU to have spent such a large amount of money on something you are unable to control yourself over

"She continues to open her door which is now touching my car! I got out quickly and asked if she’s okay and asked her to hang on whilst I move over to make room for her to get out. She says, “no it’s okay I’ll manage!”, I feel so angry like WTF she could have parked a little more to the left so her door could be opened easily without banging into my car. "

Did you express your anger to her? Did you actually say anything along the lines of 'you're parked too close, please move you car'? Anything?

Could you not park next to someone already in a suitable distance from them so you have more control?

Unfortunately this is life. I had a reverse similar incident when I was parallel parking and the woman behind was furious that I "nearly" hit her car when reversing. I was completely baffled, am I meant to apologise that she believed I would hit it BUT DIDN'T and therefore both cars were absolutely fine and parked so we could both get out - she was panicked and enraged by the mere possibility that she could've been hit, but wasn't. I suspect (because I've experienced this) you are not alone, but unless you can actually show a defined scratch or mark, then you have got to let it go. People WILL touch your car, they will brush past it, they will park near it, birds will poo on it, bags and coats will rub against it, bushes and trees will occasionally scratch the paintwork - these things are normal wear and tear and part of owning a car. You need to find a way (maybe cbt or some breathing exercises or a way of grounding yourself) to realise that, in the grand scheme of things, you are OK, the car is ok, things are OK. It's tricky, because we all want life and our things to remain flawless, but they don't unfortunately, and you can either get wrapped up, stressed and anxious, or you can not- they're the only options (unless you find another way to get to work or park at work etc - but then you may as well not have the car, and it's just as likely to happen at Tesco or parked on a street or multi storey somewhere sadly).

Are you serious ? I assume that OP paid a lot for a new car and reasonably doesn't want someone else scratching it, totally understandable.

I think she was thoughtless about letting her car door touch your car door - I would never do that to someone’s car!

but I also don’t have a car that I would ever worry about dents and can’t afford a new car 😂 if I don’t see anyone doing it I don’t care. Mine is covered in dents and scratches and was from 2006. I don’t care about getting marks on it BUT if I saw someone hitting their door into it then I would be annoyed at the principle of that they don’t care about someone else’s possessions - and would be the exact same if I saw them do it to someone else’s car. It is just general consideration that you don’t mess with someone else’s belongings without consent and if someone has bought a NEW car and someone does something risky with it then I can understand why you’re annoyed.

Like I wonder what the comments would be if someone grabbed your phone and held it over water or if someone accidentally chipped like… your garden wall in front of you on purpose or something like that.

This is a really good point. And also CBT wise it might be worth thinking about whether having to keep your car completely flawless is like… compensating for like a lack of control? If that makes sense. As I know (with my own experience of being autistic) that life just feels completely out of control most of the time and that a lot of the time when you’re ND you try to find ways of finding control. Keeping your car tidy and clean and looking lovely isn’t a bad way to like… place your control but if it gets to the point of getting awful anxiety and anger over potential dents that aren’t there and like anticipating them etc then it’s done too far

its completely understandable that you don’t want marks under your car but don’t let it consume you is what I’m trying to say