Aibu - dont want to clean up diarrhea.

[Sugargliderwombat]

I am absolutely LIVID my disgusting partner has caught our children's stomach bug and so far this morning i have found:

Diarrhea around the toilet bowl and underside of toilet seat.

Shitty pants on the floor of the bathroom (same distance from toilet as the bin).

Shit stains in the bed.

He has gone to work. Yes, I know.

My aibu is that unless bedbound you are NEVER too ill to clean up your own shit. I have never, ever been too ill.

To avoid a dripfeed YES he has done this before. Vomited all over toilet seat and floor and said was too ill to clean it up. Again I was furious. If you got out of bed to vomit you can quickly spray and wipe it.

He's a sewer rat up a drainpipe.

He left pants full of shit on the floor and shat in the bed and then went to work?!

That’s absolutely fucking repulsive. Dirty selfish cunt.

YANBU. I would leave it there for him to clean when he gets back from work. I would say that it is highly infectious and that you are not cleaning it up. I cannot believe he has gone to work. His colleagues will probably come down with it now, what a selfish git he is.

Soooo that's the last time you're ever going to shag him?

Talk about the turn-off of the millenium. Of the aeon.

If he is well enough to go to work, he is definitely well enough to clean up!!

Exactly!!

FFS. Ring his father or brother.

So LTB, that is appalling!

That's just dirty. Does he have any dignity!

Well you bloody stayed with him, i wouldnt full stop

You want her to tell him if he shits himself again shes not clearing it up!!! Oh hunny wunny if you shitty witty yourself again im not cleaning it up! Women have some self respect

Gross. really gross. If he can get himself to work he can clean up his own - literally - shit.

Filthy bastard.

And this is the problem with the world.

It’s apparently a woman’s problem to clean up after a man.

He should be cleaning it up himself.
It’s not up to the female members of his family to do it.

He was well enough to go to work. It is definitely his responsibility to clean up after himself. He is being disrespectful and selfish.

If i was one of his work colleagues i would also be raging. Bringing his germs in to work to spread around.

If this is something he has done before and sees nothing wrong with leaving you to deal with it I'd be thinking about leaving. He does nit respect you.

Thank you all for your answers. To answer the million dollar question 'why the fuck are you still with him?!' I heard a saying the other day that was something along the lines of....'if you're on the wrong train, the longer you take to get off the more it will cost you to get back' (I've butchered it). But this is the point, isn't it? I can't get off and take my children with me, so I go further and further just like countless other women.

Oh but yes, we are definitely finished now of course. I just don't know how to stop my children being the next people to have to deal with this as he obviously had no regard for our one year old who could easily have picked up the pants or our three yesr old who regularly plays on our bed.

This.

If he's so lazy that he literally can't even clean up his own shit, he's unlikely to want to spend much time looking after his DC on his own.

Make sure you go for the maximum CMS.

💐

I would actually consider divorce for this. Could never sleep with him again and the lack of respect for you is just beyond forgiveness. Grim.

Disgusting.

Book yourself (and kids) into a hotel and let him.know you will return when he's cleaned up his shit.

@Sugargliderwombat I do hear you about being stuck, but what is keeping you stuck?

Get to Citizens Advice who can help you look into benefits and rental help (including possibly a deposit) if you are struggling with no money to leave.

If you are being mentally and emotionally abused then speak to your GP who might be able to point you to other services including a social prescriber. Or contact Women's Aid who might point you to a local DA group so you can speak face to face. There is help out there

Yes it is hard to do, but staying can be even harder.

It’s called sunken cost fallacy. Yes you have put a lot in, but why waste more of your life, sanity, love, self worth, on a slob who thinks so little of you, he’s happy for you to clean up his shit?

It isn’t the relationship model you want your children growing up and seeing is the way it is. You and your children deserve better.

I’m still aghast that he left stains in your bed. I have had norovirus so badly that I wanted to die. I still would never soil my own bed. Instead, I have camped out in the bathroom, with a towel over me, in between episodes. I would be deeply ashamed if I had left poo on my bed sheets.

my ex (many years ago when i was a lot younger and willing to put up with a lot-my standards where not just on the floor,i buried them)

i walked into the bedroom and on the floor where a pair of jeans (pants inside them) and they where soaked (and i mean soaked-the pants where brown and it had hit the knees of his jeans) in dried shit-they had been there a while and oh god,the smell-you couldnt miss it

he must have had an accident and taken them off to go for a shower

why he didnt pick them up and sling them into the wash,i dont know as he only had to walk 2 extra steps to the kitchen/washing machine

nope,he left them there,sunny side up on the floor-we had to step over them to get into bed!

i got the ick so badly and left the next day-no surprise to learn he treated all women like shit too (the girlfriends after me-its a mystery to him how he can get them,he just cant hold onto them)

my own dp,not long after we'd moved in together,had an accident and cleaned himself up,cleaned the loo,brought his clothes down,put them in the wash and admitted what had just happened

i dealt with the temp and pressed 'start' (i do the washing which i'm happy to do-he pulls his weight with other things)

i've had accidents myself but did exactly the same as dp-you don't leave it for someone else to deal with

it happens,everyone has an accident,its how you deal with it that matters

I was with a man like this - I left but I didn't have v young children so it was easy.

I would bet one hundred pounds that even if he does clean up, he'll do such a poor job that the OP will need to re do it.

I don't understand the point of men like this - he probably didn't even wash his hands before he took his filthy germ ridden self to work.

Oh and he no doubt has a 'big' responsible job too and behaves totally differently at work.

I wish you all the best OP. Even with two small kids, I'm sure you'll be better off without him.