Aibu - dont want to clean up diarrhea.

[Sugargliderwombat]

I am absolutely LIVID my disgusting partner has caught our children's stomach bug and so far this morning i have found:

Diarrhea around the toilet bowl and underside of toilet seat.

Shitty pants on the floor of the bathroom (same distance from toilet as the bin).

Shit stains in the bed.

He has gone to work. Yes, I know.

My aibu is that unless bedbound you are NEVER too ill to clean up your own shit. I have never, ever been too ill.

To avoid a dripfeed YES he has done this before. Vomited all over toilet seat and floor and said was too ill to clean it up. Again I was furious. If you got out of bed to vomit you can quickly spray and wipe it.

I think in these circumstances, he'd be my ex-partner! There is no excuse for being so revolting 🤢

How revolting. That would be the end for me. Grim as fuck.

Text him and tell him that you’re not his skivvy and that he needs to clean his own shit up.

ffs, you could catch this from him

make this the hill you’re prepared to die on @Sugargliderwombat

You stayed after the last time so he knows its ok.

Take photos of everything.
Send them to him and tell him not to come home.

Send them to his family.

Contact a domestic abuse charity for support.

This is NOT normal.
This is what filthy, vile abusers do to grind you down.

Wake up.

Would it be feasible to put all the soiled items in his wardrobe or in his drawers?
From now on can you arrange things so that he uses his own bathroom and you never go in there?

It sounds like he might need a new arse hole.

Just when I think I've read everything...of course you're not being remotely unreasonable, that is utterly disgusting.

How dare he 1) expect you to clean it up and
2) go to work to infect everyone else?!

I hope you have another loo and can shut the door on the lot. Take photos either way and tell him even animals have better manners than that.

It's not about illness, don't let him bleat that you're being unsympathetic. People get ill. Then they stay OFF work, keep the germs to themselves, and clean up after themselves.

Jesus Christ.

If you have another toilet then leave it all until he gets home. He can clean his own mess up. If you haven't then clean the loo for you and the children and throw an old towel over his shit knickers so you don't have to see them. Then he can clean that and change the bed when he comes home.

And seriously consider whether you want to continue being seen as a mummy instead of a real partner.

I don’t get it. Where’s his pride if nothing else? I’d be mortified leaving that mess for my partner to find. 🤢

Hideous.

When I read the first couple of sentences I thought “well maybe he is literally too ill and staggered to the loo barely upright, before crawling back to bed”. But he went to work, so fuck that, he can clean it up.

Also, selfish prick for spreading it round his work place.

Go out for the day and leave it all for when he returns. It’s the only way.

That's both an insult to dogs (and I don't even like dogs) and pigs. At least animals have an excuse to not clean up after themselves (no opposable thumbs) and humans know better.

But yes, grim. I had a poorly tummy not long after I had DS and had an accident at my friend's house. I certainly cleaned up after myself despite having a c section and finding just moving around painful. (I was glad I was wearing disposable knickers though!)

Well you predicted it. He's come home and yep, bleating about sympathy and me being so unkind because he's so SO unwell.

Raging.

I am stuck here today as 1 of 2 kids still have diarrhea and I'm not enough of a selfish dick to go out.

I know!!! How is he not utterly disgusted by himself?

Good god! That is truly disgusting! 🤢

That’s disgusting I’ve had to clean up after me and dc when we’ve all come down with a sickness bug. Usually ended up vomiting again but it’s gotta be done. What an idiot to go into work. Suggest he picks up some incontinence pants and wipes as he obviously so incapable of cleaning up his own shit.

If he was able to go to work, he wasn’t too ill to clean up his mess. Did he leave that kind of mess (and dirty undies) in the work toilets too? I imagine not!

That's foul. And how can someone go to work if they're having that little bowel control?!

Absolutely disgusting. I'd leave the house and say if it's not all cleaned up today I literally won't be coming back.

Well you predicted it. He's come home and yep, bleating about sympathy and me being so unkind because he's so SO unwell.

If he has the energy to bleat then he has the energy to pick his shitty knickers off the floor and clean the bowl.

Edit
Have you actually asked him "Are you not ashamed and embarrassed you left it like this for the children to find?"

I bloody knew it! I am furious on your behalf. He is a fucking disgrace. I assume your kids are too small to have any idea (sorry one's still poorly) which is good for them but a shame for him.

Oh. My. Goodness.

he should not be at work spreading that. I wouldn’t do anything at all if I’m honest. I’d use a different bathroom (if you have one) and leave it all for him to sort out.

LTB

I would never be able to look at someone as a romantic partner or with true respect again if they were this disgusting and had such low standards.

He obviously has no respect for you because I would rather drag my dying body over hot coals to clear up this mess if I’d made it rather than let my partner see and do it.

I think you can forgive this if they’re so ill they are completely incapacitated.

Not if he has gone out to work though…

Is there another bed you can sleep in while he sleeps in his own faeces?