To stop BFing at 8 weeks?

[wanderingwillows]

Persisted for 8 long weeks but DS’s sleep is terrible. Not seeming to have full feeds but snacking constantly. Most nights I’m up every hour. DH gives a bottle of expressed milk late evening but it doesn’t seem to make much difference. I assume things will be better if we gave formula. I’m also sick of being touched all the time, my boobs ache, I feel self-conscious in public, I never know what to wear.
AIBU to give up now at 8 weeks? Would this be premature? Part of me feels like I’ve worked so hard this whole time in the hope of it getting easier in the long run, so wondering whether I’d be giving up right when it’s about to get better

I do agree that the feeding does seem frequent for this age.

It’s probably worth getting them assessed for Tongue Tie as it can affect bottle feeding too

I combination fed and it was the best of both worlds. I actually did find it helped with sleep. I would breast feed whilst DH got bath ready to settle comfort baby then DH would top up with bottle before bed which I did find extended sleep. Went from 3/4 hours to 6/7 hours. I would BF during night wakes and BF again first thing.

You have to do what works for you. I do wish I had been less self conscious about BF in public. But I was always so nervous and self aware that I had to either bring pumped milk or formula.

You have done brilliantly to get to 8 weeks. Whatever is best for you and your family is the right choice.

Edit to add: DD did go through a cluster feeding stage which was so tricky but it did pass. But I do think if this was persisting I would get some support to check his latch.

I stopped bf ing my oldest at 10 weeks - husband told me he would sleep better/settle more/id get more help.... it made bugger all difference to his sleep except I had to hold a bottle as well as a baby. He didn't sleep through until he was 5. My next 3 babies I bf until they are 2.5 years old and they all slept badly - but they still sleep badly as older kids/teens.

That being said, my oldest is as bonded, as healthy and as intelligent as his younger siblings- so not bfing long didn't negatively affect him either. X

I thought my DD wasn’t drinking enough and just doing little snacks so I moved to formula. Turned out she just drank really quickly. She would finish a full bottle in about four minutes. I regretted going to formula as it was so much more convenient being able to breastfeed plus the rubbish they stick in formula compared to breastmilk is something else.

The 6 to 8 week period seems to be quite a bad time for unsettled babies and poor sleep. I remember my daughter screaming for two or three hours each night at that point.

I have noticed in the discourse around feeding choices maternal wellbeing is often completely ignored. Exclusive breastfeeding can be absolute hell for many women. The mental and physical toll of being the only person who can feed the baby 24/7 is something nobody honestly prepared me for and I didn't think through beforehand. Being able to properly share caring for the baby with their other parent and knowing you can go off and have a few hours to yourself if needed (even if you don't actually do it) can make a world of difference.

It's really awful, but it feels to many people who push breastfeeding that the woman's worth is solely tied to her breasts and whether she can produce milk and how much of it. I came across so much misogyny in pro-bf spaces, from 'advocates' and professionals alike.

You can stop whenever you want to. You've done really well to go to 8 weeks and don't let anyone tell you differently. Stopping is unlikely to improve baby's sleep but will likely help with some of the other issues you are expressing.

Midwife here with specialist infant feeding experience. As well as a mother to 2 children, both had periods of dreadful sleep.

I would say, if you had made it to 8 weeks, it's a brilliant achievement on its own. Things often get easier after this point. As others have pointed out, fluffing about with making bottles is a job on its own.

I swear by the the sleep advice in Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (2nd edition, yellow cover, you can get a 2nd hand copy). Baby's Whisperer's breastfeeding advice is truly terrible, however sleep advice is brilliant (she trained as neonatal nurse in the days when there was little evidence of the benefits of breast milk and formula companies had a free reign). I specifically recommend pp. 181-186. My 2nd was sleeping 7 hours at at time by 2 months despite being exclusively breastfed (despite being a demanding baby in other respects).

Another book I recommend is No-Cry Sleep Solutions by Elizabeth Pantley. Please avoid Gina Ford

Please check currently recommended swaddling technique on https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/baby-product-information/swaddling/

I hope it helps

My son was BF til 20m, and honestly, the benefits of the boob in practical terms hits at 16w, but is incredibly useful.

Out of all my friends' babies, my son was also the "best" sleeper - never at any one time the best in terms of the longest stretches or naps, but was consistently the least worst. That's in amongst a big mix of feeding types.

Stop if you want, but when it comes to these decisions, understand that it's a long game for sleep. Even if you do get a temporary win on sleep, it can go back, and then you might have lost the benefits of super easy feeding.

Anybody on the thread who promises a final answer is just gambling your future on their experience I'm afraid!

Yanbu op, fed is fed.
with my first I really tried. When I truly realised what BF is - the pumping, the constant feeding, the nighttime constant, never being away for too long , being the only one able to feed my baby,oh and the pumping again on top of the sleep deprivation- it filled me with such horror and affected me a lot.
I switched to Formula and it was like I finally got to enjoy being a mother.

Dh could wake up and do feeds with dc and didn’t need me to suckle on throughout the night! This meant I slept and we had a schedule. I knew my baby was full after the feed and they slept much better.
I could also go out for short periods knowing my baby would be fed. Didn’t need to do pumping or anything.
Baby got used to both DH and I, instead of just needing me!
with my second I went straight to Formula - both healthy kids!

Do what feels right for you and don’t let anyone pressure you. Post baby stage, nobody asks or cares whether a child was breast or formula fed.

Whatever you decide, know that by breastfeeding for 8 weeks you have greatly benefitted both your and your child’s health.

Yes, giving up breastfeeding will lead to permanently lowering your children's IQ

Babies take small feeds in the beginning because that's all they can. Honestly the moaning is such a stereotype it's embarrassing

What a horrible post. There’s no established causative link between the way babies are fed and their IQ.

Feed your baby how you want and ignore nutters like Musney.

Sounds like hell to me. Once I realised this is what I needed to be doing I switched to formula so fast and never looked back.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you can give a bottle of formula in the evening and breast feed the rest of the time (same time though - that’s important) I also agree with getting the latch checked as usually the frequency would ease off.

i’m a big believer that breastfeeding needs to work for both mum and baby but also hate to see people stopping at 6-8 weeks. The work of breastfeeding is front loaded. By 12 weeks it usually becomes very easy. People tend to have reached their peak by 6 weeks but they’ve done so much of the hard work by then it seems a shame.

You can’t say that.

There are fatty acids in breastmilk that is good for brain development. But also the development of IQ is so very complicated - genetic factors, family income, family environments.

Stating that you are lowering a child’s IQ is just not accurate at all and an extremely unhelpful comment to a tired new mum who wants to do the best by their baby.

I actually thought this was sarcasm 🤣🤣 but I gather it’s not! I won’t even bother to respond to it.

Thank you so much to everyone else for their really helpful words of encouragement and advice. I really appreciate your perspectives and opinions.

FED is best. Do what makes you comfortable, happy mum means happy baby.

You were lucky. My first DC would take over an hour for each feed. Then would be constantly on the boob from 6pm to 10pm, on bad days from 3.30pm. She did sleep about 6 hours night but I certainly spent hours feeding her (which was fine as she was my first).
Second DC was mixed fed which worked brilliantly.

I'd advise going to a breastfeeding support group. They can offer support with the things you are finding challenging but also support to wean if that's what you'd like to do. I also found online breastfeeding support groups helpful for things I was struggling with. You could consider safely cosleeping to maximise sleep.

This.

I beat myself up for months because breastfeeding wasn’t working properly for DC1. Should have given up way sooner.

Didn’t even try with DC2. So much better.

Don’t feel pressured into trying combi feeding either if you just want to stop completely.

You can stop breastfeeding for any reason you want, at any time you want. There will always be people who breastfeed for shorter times than you, and for longer times than you. None of them are in your position, feeling the way you do, with the baby you have. Stop if you want to, it will be fine. Better than fine!

Mine went on a complete boob strike at 8 weeks, and I couldn't keep my supply up. Heartbreaking, but to be honest, it's made life easier. He's 15 weeks now, and it still hurts, but he's such a thriving, happy baby that I just have to remind myself bf isn't everything. I say do what works best for you. Fed is best x

If I could change anything about my children’s early years, I would have formula-fed them from birth. Breastfeeding made me miserable and led to severe postpartum depression with both kids. Go ahead and quit if you want.

I gave up at a similar point as my son was same. He went part breast and part formula. He then went to a formula for hungrier babies and he was far more settled, I only used breast to get him to sleep when he woke but he slept through very quickly after formula became a bigger part of it all.

Breast is best, but sanity is kept when you sleep more!! Don't let anyone guilt you, your son will benefit from a mum who's slept more ❤️