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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to quit coaching because of difficult and aggressive parents?

129 replies

StressedOutFedUp · 18/06/2026 07:28

A couple of years ago I trained up to teach children a particular sport. I was really passionate about it, and thought I would really enjoy it. I don't do it FT and I WFH in another job.

The children are mostly really nice, but it is the parents that are the problem. I have never experienced such vitriol in my life. I have had 6ft + dads blocking my way demanding to know when their DC is going to be doing this and that, and personally blame me when their DC aren't selected for certain things.

Last week I had one dad corner me because his child was not progressing as much as he wanted. The truth was that this child is not interested, comes up with every excuse in the book not to participate (sore ear, sore toe, sore tummy) and opts out of the tasks I give them. I am constantly threatened with "I'll pull my DC out if you don't....."

The people running it can only do so much. They get it too.

The parents get very upset if they see another child progress in the lesson. It's like a competition and they are missing out. I'm sorry, but some children are really good at sport, and others are good at art, music or drama. You can't force it.

I have to go there tomorrow and I am just dreading it. I think I have sunk cost fallacy. I spent a lot of money training up, and I don't usually quit. However, I am not enjoying it, feel really stressed out waiting for the next aggressive outburst and I now feel unmotivated. I used to put so much effort into preparing for it, and now I feel why should I bother.

I feel my options are quit or stay and be miserable, but wonder if others who coach/ teach DC can offer me another solution.

AIBU to quit?

OP posts:
fedexxxxx · Yesterday 21:28

notinnyfings · Yesterday 21:20

Some parents seem to become incredibly jealous when their child's friends in a hobby outperform their own child, even occasionally. Can anyone explain the psychology behind this kind of seething jealousy?

Personally, I've always been happy when my dc friends do well. I tell my them that there will be other opportunities and that everyone gets their moment at different times. I'm curious about what drives some parents to react so negatively when another child shines.

Most likely because they think it reflects on them as people. If their kids are losers then so are they. Clearly very insecure and see their children as an extension of themselves.

notinnyfings · Yesterday 21:41

It's just incredibly immature. It's much easier for children to deal with not being in the spotlight all the time if parents reassure them it's a normal part of life and their time will come. This build resilience and perseverance. Maybe some parents want their dc to be the winner the the favourite and best ALL THE TIME.

Personally I think that's quite unstable.

andthat · Yesterday 21:45

My husband quit coaching for the same reason.

he put hours into it.. and his own money.. to make it a good experience for kids.

He was constantly berated my parents….the final straw was when he asked for parents to confirm if their child was attending a tournament. He got hardly any responses despite sending out reminders… making it really difficult to plan. He ordered pizza as a post match treat for the kids.. out of his own pocket… and a parent had a go at him as the kids had to share a pizza as double the amount of people turned up as had confirmed.

After years of utter bullshit that was that.. he quit the same day

MrsAvocet · Yesterday 22:01

I hear you OP. I volunteer in a sport in a number of capacities including coaching and club secretary. Most of the kids and most of the parents are at least ok, many are really nice, but we have a vocal minority who drive me mad. I don't know if there's something in the water this year but I have been typing the words "Please remember that all our coaches and club officials are unpaid volunteers" an awful lot recently.
I don't think you can win. When everything goes completely smoothly, well it can't be very much work can it, it looks really easy, but as soon as there is any minor problem you are an incompetent idiot. And what do you mean by finishing 4 mins early this week, they're paying for this you know! (A whole £3 an hour 🙄)
I go through peaks and troughs. I'm in a trough right now as I often get a bit worn down about half way through the year and we've had several big competitions close together which are really hard work and have a tendency to provoke petty complaints.
But I know I'll get my get up and go back in a bit, and whenever I'm about to throw the towel in something nice usually happens to stop me!
Of course you are not unreasonable to give up if a voluntary activity if it is bringing you no pleasure but do be sure you're not just in a temporary trough. "Never give up on your worst day" has proven to be good advice for me.
Well done on everything you've achieved. It's valuable, even if you don't feel appreciated

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