Can’t get over poor baby Preston

[Doximama2]

Not sure this is an AIBU, I never post on here but just feel I want to today. I am a 59 year old nana of 3 gourgous grandchildren including a one year old boy, the whole story in the need the last few weeks and especially this week about poor baby Preston that was tortured, abused and ultimately murdered by his 2 adoptive “fathers” has completely traumatized me. I am recovering from a big surgery 2 weeks ago so feeling emotional but this has really upset me so much that this was able to happen and that no one, not any social services, medics on visits to the hospital - one even with a broken elbow ffs - friends and family of these monsters realised what was happening and that Preston wasn’t a happy one year old. My grandson is always happy and smiling unless he is poorly so how did this go unnoticed? I had to turn the news off Monday when they showed this poor baby trying to sleep and this monster kept making him wake up.

im not naive, I have worked in public service including health and social services which I think is why I can’t comprehend how this was allowed to happen. It just feels like there is so many awful things in the world, and has made me so sad. 😭

RIP Baby Preston. May he rest peacefully.

It is horrendous what those 2 evil beings did to that innocent baby. My brain won’t /can’t let me imagine what Preston had to endure.

It’s unimaginable that 2 men would adopt a baby to torture a baby in the most horrific way.

I voted YABU accidentally. You are NOT being unreasonable.

It's not unreasonable at all. I think it's a necessary reminder that abusers can exist in all guises - from what has been shared about then and their lifestyle, careers, friends etc there was nothing to suggest they would behave as they did. The main perpetrator had a successful career in education (in an age where education isn't easy access to abuse as it was say in the 50s and 60s) It's pretty frightening.

I feel the same similar work background to op and it has haunted me and I have read and seen some awful things in my line of work.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I cannot believe that two people would go through the adoption procedure to get a child and then treat him so badly. It is just so tragic, poor little boy.

I can't read about it or look at his picture. It's happening too many times. Another beautiful little boy let down. He's gone to a better place. The scum, on the other hand, will get their karma.

It is haunting me too. One of my kids is almost the same age he was and I think of him every time I look at her at the moment. She is so innocent and happy - just like Preston in the lovely pictures where he’s smiling.

Yes it brought me to tears too. Such unnecessary, horrific suffering for a defenceless child. It is unthinkable, really. I wonder if at any time that poor little boy felt loved or cherished or safe. I wonder about his pain and misery. Did he have any idea what he was missing out on - did he remember joy or contentment from his time with his foster carers or was his whole little life overshadowed by loss and torture?

My heart goes out to the foster carers who handed that baby over, only to learn after his death that his new home was one of unthinkable abuse. It must be almost unbearable.

As I understand it they were paedophiles so they actually got him solely for the purpose of abusing him. They did not mean to kill him.

It is awful to say but I think it is better for him that he died early than that he had to live the life they had planned for him.

I can’t imagine looking after a baby from birth and then giving him up at 10 months. That alone would be so tough for the foster carers, even if it was always the plan, and even if they believed he’d gone to a loving home. It takes a strong person to do that. But what they must be feeling now is unimaginable.

With respect, none of us know if, or to what extent, this was pre planned. Assuming that all child abusers are some sort of unique breed of people who set out to do these things is dangerous, as it creates a false sense of security about the rest of the population. Many instances of child abuse are carried out opportunistically by people who wouldn't see themselves as peadophiles (ie someone who is primarily attracted to young children rather than adults)

I honestly believe that, walking amongst us, are monsters who look/sound/act like people but they have no soul.

No empathy, no goodness, just pure evil.

I read somewhere once that as soon as any child is separated from their mother they become a vulnerable child. With ‘mother’ being any female caregiver.
I can’t think too much about this gorgeous little boy as it’s too painful

I so hope that is not the case. It seems so much worse somehow.

The monster would have known he was a peadophile. He adopted a child knowing full well what he was

Same here op

evweytime it pops up on my news feeds I have to look away.
he was such a beautiful boy.
I have a grandchild similar age and I just can’t fathom how anyone could hurt them I really cant

it stirs up an awful angry emotion in me but also complete and utter bereft at what he must have gone through

i truly hope them men get tortured badly inside for the rest of their lives.

Final thing. Institutions have got to sweep away this rainbow nonsense and place safeguarding front and centre. I hope that’s the lesson learned from this

In this case it’s safe to say they were paedophiles in the sense we normally imagine - they were sending each other indecent pics of him, and reading between the lines, he may have died by (trigger warning for people who don’t want to know the worst details) being forced to perform a sex act. Those are not things you just accidentally find yourself doing months into getting a baby you’ve longed for.

I take the wider point though that many child abusers have no history of feeling or acting on attraction to children, and that looks can be very deceiving.

According to the police there was nothing in the men’s background that indicated a sexual interest in children. There was something mentioned earlier in the trial that the one who continued to work started turning down the other’s sexual advances after baby Preston arrived, claiming he was too tired due to work and waking with night feeds. That’s a grim response to no longer having your sexual needs met though.

It is hard to fathom they went through the adoption process with the sole purpose of obtaining a child to sexual abuse and torture. These people walk amongst as regular people. Absolutely harrowing to read about poor poor baby may he rest in peace 😔

I can’t either OP. I wish daily hell on earth upon poor Preston’s abusers and murderers.

If only there was a blood test or something for paedophiles. … I hope the adoption assessment process is reconsidered.

sadly ‘successful’ paedophiles are clever and cunning so might still circumvent these

It hits especially hard I think because it's pretty obvious how some of the injuries were caused. They don't need to spell it out. That's not a thought any decent person wants in their head. I really feel for the jury, they must be absolutely traumatised.

I'm not one to condone violence in prison generally but I hope those 2 spend every moment in prison utterly terrified until someone finishes them off!

It's genuinely sickened me these past few days since learning about this case. I just can't seem to forget about it and keep looking at my own boys (no longer babies) and wondering how on earth anyone could even consider or think of doing such things to such a small, defenseless infant. It just throws my faith in humanity that such people exist. The fact the safeguards and checks put in place to protect kids from such monsters also failed here hurts more. As a non-verbal infant, placed with prospective adopters he should have been monitored so incredibly closely and the multiple hospital visits alone is a huge red flag - the visits themselves being so closely spaced together, and with the child having not even been in their care that long. I cannot fathom how it slipped through the net, regardless of how good he was at covering up - broken bones on a <1yr old is a significant and irregular occurence.

I feel the same op. I had avoided any reporting on it until Monday. I feel tormented by what they did to him and haunted by the fact that they proccurred him, through adoption, with the intention of sexually abusing him.

Evil most certainly does present itself in human form, but I cannot get passed all the missed opportunities and red flags surrounding this wicked pair.

These two paedophiles should never have got anywhere near him. By the cruelest of fates, he went to them instead of a kind and loving couple who would have cherished him and kept him safe.

There isn't anything remotely close to a fitting punishment for them.